Hey I am new here (just posted in the intros topic) and am looking for some advice. I have only just got back in the game after a very long term relationship so would really like some advice on a new girl I've met.

Met through a friend and I she gave me her number. I arranged a date last week at a local bar. She cancelled the day before saying she was ill (I think I believe her). So I made sure I didnt sound disappointed and said "well if you want to meet up another time then let me know". She text me a couple of days later suggesting lunch.

Just been to lunch with her. I looked for IOIs as recommended on this forum. She played with her hair, played with her ear asked about previous relationships. All good signs yeah? We went our separate ways with a friedly kiss and I said "if you'd like to do this again sometime then let me know" so the balls in her court. I think that was the right move?

Anyway. She's really great and I'd like to escalate things to a proper date and see where we go. But what I don't know is what to do next. Do I text her? Do I call her? When? What do I say/offer to do? Do I make it clear that I'm interested?

Just need some advice as not been in this situation for a LONG time.

It's great you're already back in the swing of things after a LTR. However, I'm guessing you're looking more for a relationship with this girl rather than a fling, right?

I'd say you did things pretty well, already had the Day 2 which is always tough to set up and you said there were IOIs which is a good sign. However, the only thing I don't like that you did was telling her "If you would like to hang out again let me know." That not only gives her the power in the relationship, but also shows you may be a bit hesitant and don't want to set anything up. I'd say let it rest for a few days, send a text with something like "Stop!" She'll respond, "Stop what?" and you say "Stop thinking of me and smiling =)"

It's a great way to open a convo with her without being boring and also being cocky funny. I've used this a bunch and it works flawlessly every time. Then tell her you're doing something soon (ie. going to the mall, going grocery shopping, grabbing a coffee, whatever) and that she should tag along. It shows you have a busy schedule, but would enjoy her company. Good luck!

Eeeee *cringe*. Haha. Up to the lunch sounds like you did fine. Then:
Have you asked yourself why you are looking for IOI's? A lot of needy AFC's seem to do this way too much. I don't even consciously bother. Look at it this way. So you've noticed a bunch of IOI's. You're chuffed. Well, so fucking what? Noticing them makes NO DIFFERENCE to your at all to anything. It has no effect on your success. You actually have to act on it!! When did that part go out the window? It's as if some people just spend their lives vigorously hunting down IOI's with a microscope to make themselves feel better. Waste of time...anyway, that was more of a rant than it was aimed at you, rant over .
Noooooo completely wrong move. What does that line mean, or what does it subcommunicate? This:

-I am too much of a pussy to be a man and invite you out next time
-I am needy because I need YOU to show me that you like me
-I have AFC written across my forehead.


Haha, hate to break it to you bud but again that's typical (or worse still, stereotypical) AFC. A 'friendly kiss' = BS. Next time go for the lips, or a meaningful hug, or go in for a hug then reject her playfully then grab her, etc etc. Just do anything, ANYTHING that is unique. And don't settle for less than you deserve.
This is such a broad question, you're basically calling your entire game into question. My advice first is to study more, it's good that you're getting in-field practice, normally it's the other way around but you need some more theory before you chode yourself out of sets. Try and set up another outing which will go into the night so you can lay her.

Good luck buddy!

Thanks for the tips. Given me a lot to think about!

As I said I am new to the game at the moment and glad to get your advice as its clear to me now the naivity of my parting comment to her. I totally agree I need to do something a bit more original to make me stand out from the rest and not give all the power to her.

Am i looking for more of a relationship? Probably.

Guess I was looking for IOIs after reading about them here and probably hoping for a bit of a confident booster but can see that they make fuck all difference if you just sit their noticing them all day!!

Anyway. Thanks again guy and Rafiel, you're right I need to do a bit more research then get out there and put it into practice.[/quote]