Ok, so I met this girl and things have been going ok for about 3 weeks now. They're not ideal but they're not too bad either.

As she's got to know me better she's started revealing more about herself. She's mentioned some men in her past and well, I thought it was the past but it appears that it's more recent past ... as in only about a couple of months ago. They weren't exactly long term relationships but they've obviously had an impact on her and it is a niggly issue in our relationship at the moment.

Last Sunday she told me she still "loves" another guy. I thought about this for a few moments and then told her that if she still loved another guy than being with me was not right. She was in essence cheating on him. She said it was not like that. She was not going to be with this guy and she wanted to be with me. I said ok to that and told her that if she was going to be with me she'd have to be honest and open and I was prepared to work things out. I told her that I was not going to be the rebound guy. She seemed happy with that.

Then last night she texted me and said she wanted to watch a movie at my place. I said sure and picked her up. We finished watching the movie and then started making out. I picked her up and carried her to my bed. To cut a long story short we "made love" all night without the actual act of penetration. She'd always stop if I tried but pretty much everything else was go.

This morning I dropped her home and things seemed ok. We exchanged texts throughout the day and it appeared all good. Then tonight I sent her a text reminding her that tomorrow we'd watch another movie at my place. She said she was scared of watching a movie at my place. I did a bit of CF on her saying that I wasn't that scary and that "my arms were the safest place for her in the world". She asked me not to rush things and that even though she was young she'd had a lot of experiences. She said I did not understand her feelings. I told her that I did not care much for her past and I was more interested in us being together now. That is what I wanted to work on. She replied with it not being easy for her to forget and for me not to push her. She said she'd "disappear again". When we first met things got heated pretty quickly and she disappeared for about a week to only come back the next week. Anyways she finished by saying that she would not sleep in my bed again.

So there, this girl has some baggage, some issues that she needs to sort out. Now I'm not a completely heartless git. I do care about this girl and I am happy to bide my time with her and help her out as much as I possibly can. HOWEVER, I DO NOT want to become someone who's just there when she needs me. I want this to be a mutual relationship.

How do I play this out so that I am sensitive to her needs but at the same time I have mine met?

This girl is not over and done with her ex that she still "loves."

If you two are making out in your bed all night and she don't let into her
pleasure zone. Then you are not going to get into it. This other guy is the
guy she is sleeping with while you do all these "nice" things for her.

Sounds to me like she is "playing" you. This other guy is probably one of the
guys that is the total definition of an AMOG.

He is very physical with her, he is probably a "jerk" in her book but still sleeps
with him and does things for him. He is probably also the definition of
"The Bad Boy." He also is probably physically fit and has a lot of social proof.

Hell, this guy might also be someone on these forums...

To sum all this up, don't make this girl your oneitis. Move on while you still
can before you get too emotionally attached to this girl and revert back to
your "chump ways."

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It's not easy getting over loving someone. That's not something that they can chose to do. It just happens with time. Seems like she was being pretty honest about it. That's something I do appreciate in a woman. In addition,, seems like she is taking action to get you into her head. Maybe her night with you was planned.

I don't know. maybe cut her some slack, unless the drama is too much for you. Then just nip it on very nice terms. Keep that door open.

Why in the heck do guys ever pick a bad split? What a waste!

Good luck bro.

For the record I'm not exactly doing any "nice things" for her. Believe me, I have offered dinner and drinks to her on numerous occassions but she's declined. So far she is the "cheapest" gf I've ever had. Usually by this stage in a relationship I'd have forked out a couple of hundred bucks but with her it's been a couple of beers and a movie or two.

Yeah, but you do make some interesting points. One thing I've made perfectly clear to her is not to string me along. I told her if she wants to be with someone else then by all means go ahead. She chose to be with me. I made her commit to me verbally on that.

I am fairly certain there is no AMOG as such. I think she's being honest in telling me that she still has feelings for her ex. Fair enough. I've been with other women while I still had feelings for my ex gf. However I was prepared to work through it and that is what I am trusting her to do. I just want to know how I should behave in all this so as to make things easier for both of us.

I don't think this is Oneitis. I was prepared to leave her a few days ago and even after recent events I am prepared to leave her again. Yes, it will be a little bit difficult as I think she has potential.

I would like to believe this girl is being honest with me. God help her if she isn't. I'll make an example out of the AMOG ... I promise you that much.

Kiwi,, you bring up a good point. How do you act here? I'd say two things. It sounds like you like her, so keep things open for a relation now or later.

The most important thing,,,, do not open that emotional bond with this chick now. I'm talking about your need for her. She has already told you, she might not be there for you. That was really good on her part.

If you get too close, and she decides to leave you on the side of the road, you're gonna be in a bad spot. So create the distance, so if that happens. It's no big deal.

Remember, maintaining emotional distance is one thing. Turning your game up and creating attraction is another. I'd turn that game on big time.

If you can't seperate the two, walk.

Good luck

I have to say this...

If you don't care if you get this girl or not, the next time she gives you
Last Minute Resistance, you should try the Freeze Out Method on her and see
how she reacts to it.

If she is dead set on not giving it up to you, then you should just get out of
the bed, call another girl, and start talking to her. This will show this other
girl that you are in fact not going to be there forever and that she needs to
make up her mind if she wants to have you in her life as more than a friend.

Have girl friend that you can call that will play along with the following...

Call this "pivot" and tell her that you need to meet her so you can relieve
some sexual frustration that this other girl has given you, and that you will
be over there after she leaves.

Like I said earlier, if you don't really care if you get this girl or not, you
should at least give this a try. It tells her that you could be out with other
girls getting laid but instead have chosen to spend time with her because
you care about her. But you are not going to wait around forever for her.

I know this sounds like an asshole, when in fact, this is exactly what a
"jerk" (in her book) would do. Been There, Done That.. XD Later..

_________________
| NLP eBooks etc | SEDUCTION eBooks etc |
| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.