Hey buddies,

i'm in an annoying situation.
Yesterday on valentines day my girl got mad at me.
(this is a loong post, sorry)

The situation is like this: a really good mutual friend of ours is going abroad for studies on monday, so on saturday (valentines day) we were going to have a goodbye party.
For the day we were going to sledge riding. My girl was ill at home, and her family taking care of her. I did want to spend the day with her ofc, but because she was ill and me being there around her family wasnt going to be good, i went sledge riding, which she said is okay. No hard feelings.

Anyway, in the evening, we were going to meet up all of us for drinks. So as i'm sledgeriding she texts me she's having her SPAM and isn't feeling well, i write her back a few sweet comforting messages. The conversation dies out for about 2 hours. After a while we go back to town, and going to continue. She says she's told one of our friends she'd meet her alone first, so i say "ok". she writes "what you mean 'ok'? the fuck?".

Well after a bunch of back and forth where to finally hang out, i meet her, and she's giving me the cold shoulder. For example in the taxi, i lay my hand on her knee and ask her how was her day. She answers in pushing my hand away and annoyedly telling me that apart from being ill and having had a hard time (she was having injections), she was all stressed out because she needed to make a call to somebody abroad, got ripped off with the telephone card, also forgot the number and had to remember it. Then her mom stressed her out with some small stuff, irritating her.

And through all that trouble I wasn't there for her, didnt comfort her. So that's what she's mad at me for.
I said i'm sorry, i'll make it up to you. I felt specially bad because it's valentines day and stuff like that happening is really not what she'd want, and me neither.
So throughout the hangout, she got better, her mood improved, but i felt she was still mad at me, a little bit.

In the night when we all were home, i text her that i'm sorry for not being there for her.
she says "well now it's over. i've lost affection i'll never get back"
i say " ...." she answers with "yes". I told her i'll make it up on monday she says "i'll have to see".

Today i write her in the morning "Good morning sweetie. Are we feeling better?", and after 4h she writes me "i'm having injections, and not liking you much "

That kinda really pissed ME off, and i write her "Look, i'm sorry that my msgs were rude and unhelpful yesterday. But quite frankly i think your being unfair to me. I had no idea that you were in so much stress at all. i thought you were being ill at home and ur fam is taking great care of you. i had no idea u were in stress cuz of <name>' number. i know this doesn't help you either. I'd really like to cm to you and comfort you when ur having a hard time with the injections right now. im not angry but i feel i have to tell you this"

Now she replies with a 180degree turn "Ah glad you told me...I guess it was stupido of me to expect comfort or anything in ya. Its just im so used to it. but i wont now, sorry"
I see that as a cheap shot of her so that i go all "im so sorry baby".
I said "noo thats not what i meant. i do want to comfort you! i care about u so much, and you know that. ofc u can expect those things from me. the thing yesterday was that only afterwards i heard u had so much trouble, and then u gave me the cold shoulder. if i knew, i would've been ur comfort ofc"

She says "ok ok whatever. lets forget everything...i mean if you wanna" and i replied "yeah i wanna get over this"

The thing is, i dont think she'll just forget it. And she resents me, and she didnt acknowledge that she treated me unfair. and if she didnt do that, at least she shouldve explained ot me why she thinks it's not unfair.


My actual question is:
How do you handle girls that think themselves in power, do not like to talk things out because they get annoyed with the prospect of drooling over a matter like that?
I mean i understand that she has reason to be unhappy for all the things that happened, but i dont feel that im all that guilty, and then if i tell her that in a mature, non-accusing way, she starts acting in this really uncooperative way, on purpose interpreting it the wrong way.

Well now she's being cold to me, giving me really short replies, and i decided i'll just leave her alone till she contacts me herself.

I don't know the whole situation, so i can't comment with complete accuracy, but from what you said, you are right. it was not fair for her to act that way.

If and when she does come back around, tell her that communication is very important. That in a relationship, it is necessary to comfort and support each other; however, you can't give the EXTRA support unless you communicate. It was no ones fault, we just have to let each other know when we could use that extra hand.

But don't dwell on this issue either. Stop apologizing. Once is enough. You have, it was sincere, and now she is having a personal emotional struggle. She might be testing to see if you will support her through this; little might she know that this battle excludes you and the test is destined to fail because you're not willing to have pointless fights.

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

Base, I see a lot of drama in this lady. If that's your cup of tea, go for it. It's natural for a woman to feel down about a situation like that. That's not a problem. But how does she react to it?

If you like handling things in a "mature, non-accusing way" then do that. Don't ask about her way, do it your way. Period.

Let her know the way you operate and nip the drama in the bud. Like Locke said, communication is key. But make no mistake about it, communication does not mean going back and forth in an endless loop of put-downs on you.

A ton of guys make the mistake thinking we can talk our relations good. Look, I don't know your lady, so say I talking about someone else. For some women, this will never happen because they are immature and self centered and the more you try to talk, reason and fix things, the more they will throw this dailly shit test at you because that is how they keep control of things. So keep in mind, not all women are worth it.

I'd suggest creating some distance. She needs to respect your limits.

I don't know if any of this pertains to you. But I certainly wish you luck with whatever your choice is.