need help with this situation



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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:49 pm 
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So, I went on a few dates with this girl last summer, and since I was AFC back then she kinda blew me off.

Well, she just called me recently and left a message that she would like to meet me for drinks.

How should I handle this?

I'm about a month and a half in learning 'the game' so I want to see how I can use this situation to help my progress.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:52 pm 
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I'm confused here. What do you want?

Do you want to use this girl to practice your techniques, or are you interested in pursuing her?

Cinnamon

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:58 pm 
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Yeah ....I'd like to pursue but I'm not about to stop my progress and settle down and get in a relationship with this one just because. I would like to create an environment where I can choose the girl and not vice versa.

How do I flip this situation to my advantage. Not act interested or say we should meet as friends and then give her mixed signals to create tension and have her pursue me? If I call her back and act AFC and act needy then that's not good so how should I view this situation?

I guess what I'm asking as a reformed AFC- what are my options here?


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:24 am 
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Alright, I may kill one of your puppies right here, okay?
Calling her back is NOT AFC. It's all in HOW you call her back. Make sure you're using game techniques while on the phone, keep the conversation casual (show you're not nervous) and make sure it's going in whichever direction you're steering it (show you're in control), if you get the opportunity, try and take the conversation to a slightly sexual place (show that you want her). Be careful that you don't take the conversation on the phone any further than you'd be willing to take it in person, otherwise you might come off as inconsistent and that'll confuse her and Gods do you not want to confuse a woman.

Now, not acting interested and asking to meet as friends, that may seem a little off to her. Especially asking to meet just as friends. You may inadvertently friend-zone yourself.

Sending mixed signals is in the same boat as escalating the conversation on the phone. You have to be careful. The 'mixed signals' you'll want to be sending are the 'I think you're sexy' and the 'I'm not needy' signals. These don't need to be mixed, you can desire someone without needing them. It's hard to do, but it can be done. Again, sending mixed signals is NOT a good idea. They make you seem inconsistent, fake and confusing, not something you want to show.

Now as for your relationship options, it's perfectly fine to not want to get committed right away. Your options here are MLTRs, Casual dating, Open Relationships or FWB. Each one of these has it's own downfalls and restrictions. Which one are you thinking of?

Cinnamon

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:51 am 
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Alright, I may kill one of your puppies right here, okay?
Calling her back is NOT AFC. It's all in HOW you call her back. Make sure you're using game techniques while on the phone, keep the conversation casual (show you're not nervous) and make sure it's going in whichever direction you're steering it (show you're in control), if you get the opportunity, try and take the conversation to a slightly sexual place (show that you want her). Be careful that you don't take the conversation on the phone any further than you'd be willing to take it in person, otherwise you might come off as inconsistent and that'll confuse her and Gods do you not want to confuse a woman.

Now, not acting interested and asking to meet as friends, that may seem a little off to her. Especially asking to meet just as friends. You may inadvertently friend-zone yourself.

Sending mixed signals is in the same boat as escalating the conversation on the phone. You have to be careful. The 'mixed signals' you'll want to be sending are the 'I think you're sexy' and the 'I'm not needy' signals. These don't need to be mixed, you can desire someone without needing them. It's hard to do, but it can be done. Again, sending mixed signals is NOT a good idea. They make you seem inconsistent, fake and confusing, not something you want to show.

Now as for your relationship options, it's perfectly fine to not want to get committed right away. Your options here are MLTRs, Casual dating, Open Relationships or FWB. Each one of these has it's own downfalls and restrictions. Which one are you thinking of?

Cinnamon
You know, Ive never heard the definition of mixed signals expressed so well..... lol the concepts of a male pick up term expressed elegantly and precisely by a female how i love the ironies in life.

But yes, just call her and play C/F man.... tease her a bit (nicely) and then if you want, ask her to go for drinks or whatever. Remember this though. Shes just one girl among many. I find this is the primary difference between a confident guy and an AFC. The AFC thinks its the end of the world if he doesnt get THIS girl, the confident man KNOWS its no big deal and just goes with the flow :)


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