A little background on this girl I met about a year and a half ago. She's a few years younger then I am and we met during the summer before her freshman year of college. She's an HB9 and has some amazing qualities... the brain, body, and sense of humor to back it up. She also has very good morals, which I respect in women these days.

I might mention that I work with her family and met her that way. I had a thing for her for a while but was afraid to cross that barrier. I could tell that she was attracted to me too so, after talking to her at a family party, I had a date with her in no time.

So we went on a few dates and really hit it off great... chemistry was great, I was on point, and she fell head over heels for me. I got the whole, "I can't figure you out" and got her to admit her very strong feelings for me. But I saw that she was young, somewhat sheltered, and naive. She hated that I occasionally smoked pot and actually told me she only wanted to be friends after a couple of dates, basically breaking up with me. A week later she's calling me again but I refuse to see her because she broke it off with me. I told her let's just keep it as friends and see where it goes.

So she goes off to college and texts me and stuff but due to the long distance and lack of communication our signals get crossed and we end up going our separate ways. A few weeks later and she has a boyfriend. This kid is nice guy wussy charlie church boy to a T. I used to read the stuff he'd write on her facebook wall and I couldn't believe he'd get any girls nevermind this HB9 with the stuff he'd write and how he seemed to be.

Anyways, I call her a few months after they started dating just to say what's up. She tells me on the phone that she wished things were different and she was with me. I agree but tell her let's just be friends. I go out and keep meeting different women but I missed the chemistry I had with this girl. She told me she'd call me to talk but months go by without hearing from her.

Fast forward to a few months ago. Her and charlie church boy have been dating over a year. Through an accidental text she tells me she wants to catch up but I keep ignoring her calls, asking her why after all this time. She sends me a long text about how I'll never be with her, I have to get over her, blah blah blah. So I call her that night and give her an "are you serious?" talk. I never did anything that would make her think I wanted to get back with her besides bust her balls about why she wanted to catch up.

So I call her and we talk and I might have been a wussy a little. She told me she had told her mom that I was her dream guy when we were dating. I told her she was pretty close to my dream girl. Whoops. Anyways, I catch her up on my life and she wants to be friends again. She claims that she never called me for a year because she was having a hard time getting over me (from 3 dates!!) and was afraid she would fall for me again and "be a bad girlfriend"

We start talking on the phone again and she starts saying things like, why do guys do this, but not you because you're amazing. She also says "Next time I'm home we should get coffee." I slip up and say, I don't know about that... I'm not sure how to act (if it's a date or friends). She says she regrets never getting physical with me. But she also tells me she talked about me with her boyfriend and she drops him in there occasionally... but the right thing I did was never badmouth him. She even tried hard one time to get me to tell her he was a nice guy like she needed my affirmation.

So here's the problem... every time we talk I see that she has matured a bit and I can't help but still have feelings for this girl. I know it's "oneitis" but in the many girls I've met, few have as much to offer. But I also can't figure out if she's telling the truth and is really over me or she still is attracted to me? I told her last phone call that I really care about her as a friend, was that bad?

How should I go about handling this situation? Should I keep talking with her on the phone? I know most people are going to say to just forget about it and move on but I really do value her friendship and I hear her name dropped all the time at work. I want to build up attraction again but seeing her with the "nice guy wuss" has made me wonder if the Game will even still work on her? Should I accept the meeting for some coffee? How should I approach that?

Sorry about the really long post... there's just a lot going on with this one and I'm really confused. One second she responds to the game, the next she's with a wuss. Help, please.

Dude, you've known this girl for a while now. She knows how you are and what your reactions are damn near going to be before you do them. Any attempt to run "game" on her is going to be obvious to her that you "changed."

Seriously, I would go get coffee with the girl. What's the worst that can happen?

You constantly telling her you want to be friends with her does present a problem. This girl has chased you a few times and you keep placing her in the friend zone. After a while of telling her she's going to believe it! And that is not really what you want based on your post here!

Look there are a few ways to handle this. I'm not going to tell you to forget about her because that not realistic. The truth is if you go after this like you want you could loose the friendship. That is your risk to take.

If you really want her man go for it. There is nothing wrong or AFC with just opening up and saying how you feel. Naturals do it all the time. Anyways, you are going to have to try and kino escalate to see if anything exists. Go for a kiss and things like that, since she regrets not being physical. If it's like we think it is she's going to reciprocate and it's going to escalate. The boyfriend objection will either come up or be dismissed, so don't bring it up if she doesn't.

Otherwise, you can continue to feel this way and just be a "friend" to her. My thought was since you placed her in the friend zone, she has these unexplored feelings for you still, you have a pretty good chance at getting this to go in your favor.

GOOD LUCK!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for the excellent response JSmooth. I am definitely going to take her up on that meeting but do you think I should try and change it to lunch or maybe something more exciting?

I get this feeling that she still has unexplored feelings for me as well... like I talked to her Monday after a month or two of no contact and then she calls me again Wednesday just to say hi. I can't figure this one out.

I keep her in the friend zone because I don't get the feeling she has any plans to break up with this guy. Even though it happened three weeks after we ended things, and I feel like he was maybe a quick rebound because she admitted to having feelings for me still for a while afterwards.... but this guy lives in her dorm and I don't think she has the heart to hurt somebody like that. Even after she told me she wished things were different I let her know they could be but she made no action.