Oooooh. Ad hominem attacks! It's all so clear now!

My advice to the original poster is this: practice. Get used to being in a sexual environment so that when you find yourself in those situations, you won't feel the pressure to perform that you might when you're new to it.

The psychological impact of performance anxiety is only something you need to seek professional help on if it is persistant, lasts an inordinately long period of time, or is _very negatively impacting_ your life (like you curl up in a ball and cry during/afterwards). When I say "psychology is responsible for X," I do not mean to imply that this is a serious health problem; it's not. This is a perfectly normal, perfectly acceptable response to a situation in which a man feels anxious and out-of-his-element. That problem can be as huge as "Goddamn I'm hungry," to "Holy crap, there's a pretty naked girl in my bed what do I do?" Dinosaurs need not apply, though I'd assume they qualify.

If this was a _serious_ psychological issue, I'd have no trouble suggesting "go see a therapist." If it persists, you should see a therapist. If not, relax.

You're not just questioning my masculinity, sir, but also a very large portion of the male population. My own insecurities do not include impotence. I'm speaking as a representative of better sexual education in pick-up, something I've noticed is sorely lacking. I have had difficulties achieving erection during stressful sexual encounters. That's not a huge problem; that's completely normal. I'm not going to suggest someone seek professional help for a problem that is cured through relaxation and experience. There's no need for it, unless it becomes a real problem, not an isolated incident.

You're displaying a sickening lack of sympathy to the millions upon millions of men who get occasional performance anxiety. You're labeling them as sick and somehow deficient, when neither of those things is a true representation of the issue. You're perpetuating a sexual myth without having taken the time and effort to educate yourself on the matter. You're using disparaging language to try and belittle me, when in effect you're also calling slyguy and reaper21 "limp dicks." I'm sure that's going to help the original poster, and anyone else who comes across the issue.

It's become obvious to me that you're perpetuating the myth that "an isolated incident of performance anxiety means you're an impotent limpdick" out of some sense of maliciousness. Insecurities of your own, perhaps?

_________________
Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

Really . . . did you get beat up a lot as a kid or what? What's the deal with freaking insecurities? If you can't pop a boner, you can label it a "small problem", "small issue", "health concerns", or whatever your mouse of a self-pride can conjure up but this is NOT "completely normal". Is this what you tell your girlfriend(s)? How the hell do you manage to go through your daily life if you feel "insulted" by some random, anonymous poster suggesting that erectile disfunction is IN FACT, a DISFUNCTION? Your dick doesn't define you. Your "health issues" do not define you. Get some balls man . . .
So now it's a problem. But it's NOT a problem. . . Then it's a problem. Look, a fat lady is a FAT lady. FAT is a problem . . . many problems. A limp DICK is a LIMP DICK. A limp dick is a problem. . .

The real problem here is that your taking this PERSONALLY. You've taken my initial post as some "private letter" to you. So you're offering advice as you wish could be offered to YOU. This is no way to solve "problems".
.

Actually . . . YOU are displaying a lack of sympathy. What? Do you think calling this problem "Men who get occasional performance anxiety" makes you the king of sympathy? Sitting there and telling them to breathe and relax is in my opinion, simply a projection of YOUR own insecurities.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing a little 1 on 1 with a doctor to discuss these issues: RULE OUT physical causes first. . . there are many. Why sit around and play "meditation" games on your own when you have no idea what the hell is going on?

A decent physician will also point you in the right direction towards a solution regardless of what your unique issues might be . . . Does this really sound like a "bad thing" to you?
1. I haven't labeled anybody sick.

2. If you're not "EFFICIENT" with your dick, wouldn't this make you "deficient"? Again, what the hell is wrong with calling things as it is?
No, no . . . don't put words in my mouth. You're the only emotional limp dick here.
Is you dick hard or LIMP when you suffer from "performance anxiety"? Well if it's LIMP, do you or do you not have a "LIMP DICK"? This is a "myth" to you?

If I have leg injury, I would express it by telling you that it is in fact a "leg injury" and I'd want to find out what was wrong with it. You might call it, "perfectly normal" and choose to breathe your way through it. Telling others to do the same because YOUR "poor little heart" gets hurt through some usage of vocabulary is moronic.

By the way, who the hell made you the rep for the World's group of guys who can't get it up? You work pretty hard to protect your little heart but you do a poor job of helping others achieve boners. This is in fact what the OP was all about. All you've done with 90% of your posts were, "Don't call ME a limp dick! Wah, wah, wah!"

I'm not going to bother engaging further in the flame war, Kasabi. You're giving bad advice. And while you think I'm taking this as a personal attack, I am primarily upset that people who do not feel the need to educate themselves on matters like this spout doom-and-gloom advice at the drop of a hat.

Show me proof. You give me one piece of advice that says 'Go see a doctor if your penis doesn't function, even once!' from a source as credible as Kinsey, and I'll concede the argument. I sincerely doubt you want to wait seven hours in a waiting room to get the same advice I've already given: "If you can achieve an erection in other circumstances, there's nothing wrong with you physically. Calm down, get used to being in a sexual space with her, and try again. If it's a persistent problem (a hefty majority of the times you try to have sex, for instance), then see a therapist."

As it is, I've put up links to both The Kinsey Institute For Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction and a quick Google search. If you're not just spouting bullshit from the top of your head, prove it. I'd love to be schooled on the topic, instead of having you point out whatever insecurities you think I have and poke at them with a stick. See, I'd love to see where you get your statistics from. I'd love to see how you know that "every guy without a health problem" has no trouble achieving an erection. I'd love to see where your information came from that says that girls have a harder time becoming sexually aroused than men. This kind of bullshit is the stuff that has half of our community running around with their hair on fire wondering what the fuck is wrong with them, when what is wrong with them is "nothing."

_________________
Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

Your version of reality is an oxymoron. You are by far the nuttiest guy I've seen on this forum. Having trouble achieving erection = health problem. If it isn't a problem at all, why did YOU yourself seek a solution? You dealt with it a certain way. I'm merely suggesting a better way.
The above statement is FALSE. A common illness such as diabetes can affect your ability achieve an erection. Why do diabetics monitor their blood sugar levels on a daily basis? . . . right . . . because their conditions are constantly changing you kooky google medicine man! Again, maybe you think there's nothing wrong with you physically. Why do you keep pushing for others to walk the exact path you did? It's the wrong way. The guy might have vascular issues, hormonal issues, etc . . .

"Oh no! I have to wait in the room for 7 hours! Oh no! . . ." - My God, who did this to you?

This is not what I wrote. I wrote that girls are more influenced by their surroundings than men. You're the google master. Google it and educate YOURSELF as this particular topic is an important facet of our game.

I think my favorite part of this whole exchange is the fact that kasabi never bothers to cite his sources, while Monkey has come up with several to cite his. Now who's 'kooky'?

reaper21, ignore kasabi, he's full of shit and perpetuating a sexual myth that is one of the leading causes of performance anxiety. He is wrong and can't seem to realize that.

There is nothing medically wrong with you. You're stressed and that affects everyone's sexual performance, whether they are male or female.

I will add the caveat though, that if you have never been able to achieve an erection EVER, then yes, it's possible that there's something medically wrong with you. But if it's just this situation, especially if it's the first time, then there is nothing at all to worry about.

I'm also sending you to this in a PM, because you honestly need to hear it. If I were in your shoes, I'd be terrified at kasabi's claims that you're some sort of freak for being nervous the FIRST TIME. You're not. It's perfectly normal and natural. Kasabi is perpetuating one of the many myths that causes this nervousness. He's wrong.

Myth Busted

Cinnamon

_________________

To the OP:

"This tend to be a very common problem in young/inexperienced men especially the first time with a new partner. Generally the reaction is to one or the other extreme... either difficulty achieving or holding an erection, or sort of a difficulty holding it back and lasting for a short period of time.

You will most likely be just fine after he's become more comfortable with the situation through some more experience."

This is me Paraphrasing Dr.Drew's response to a very similiar question on the radio show "LoveLine" tonight. Dr. Drew is a board certified doctor with a speciality in psychology.

I say dont worry about it to much man... it's a fairly common problem to have happen when your young/inexperienced and very nervous... if the problem continues or you begin having trouble achieving erection in other circumstances then go see a doctor as theres probably a better chance of medical issues.


Also Kasabi, Monkey you guys no better then to flame and name call... consider this a warning and drop it.

Kids kids . . . what's wrong with you?

Why do you have SOOO much trouble accepting a medical issue as it is . . . and then seeking help for it? This should be done with nearly ALL MEDICAL issues.

Google Erectile Dysfunction:

First website from search:

http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/impotence/

Notable quotes:
Second website from search:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erecti ... on/DS00162

Notable quotes:
.

Third website from search:

. . . Is a health center.

Fourth website:

American Academy of Family Physicians

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen ... e/109.html

Notable Quotes:
(Impotence isn't some insult . . . it's a MEDICAL terminology)

Go on?

lol dude are you trying to help this guy or prove that youre right? cause really it seems to me like you just want to be right at this point. Be that as it may, Id have to agree with whats been said for the most part. If you cant get it all the way up once or twice, and you recongnize that youre extremely nervous and uncomftorable, I would say its just a comfort thing. Relax bro, when you become more comftorable with the girl all will be well.... If it persists though then yes, I would seek some help as it could be any number of things either physical or mental.

I could not agree more.

_________________

Kasabi is correct that ED among older men usually has physical causes, but otherwise he is giving terrible advice. I'm also assuming OP is not a 50 year old man...

apparently the forum won't let me post a URL, but this from netdoctor.co.uk