hi there
tried having sex with my girlfriend for the first time yesterday and couldnt get completely hard, i was hard enough for her to give me head, but not hard enouhgh to penetrate....
any ideas on why guys?
my breathing was a little off at first, do you think that could be a reason?
need help!! valentines day soon and dont want to be having the same problem

some help would be nice, 10 views and no suggestions?

Google will have a tonne of advice on this. Don't worry its perfectly normal. You just need to relax more and not think about it too much. The more you think about it the less likely you are to get an erection. It's basically down to nerves.

Had you been drinking? - That won't help things.

thanks for replying, erm yea like one glass of jd n coke, nothing too much to have an effect. thanks for your help, ill google it

More foreplay and cuddling.
So you come in a state that you are feeling really comfortable.

Put some garlic in your diet?

protip: try some ecstacy =D

it will feel better for both of you and you'll be hard and you won't be able to get off until it starts wearing off, but it won't matter, cause she'll be way beyond satisfied!

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Girl tip: Don't.

Taking drugs is your business, but if you take drugs specifically to have sex, perhaps you should go with the legal ones, like Viagra.

That aside, Ecstacy is a drug I've had a bit of secondhand experience with.
There was a boy I wanted and one night he was tired, so he popped some E to keep his spirits up. And suddenly he was VERY interested in me.
My first reaction was to think "You only like me when you're HIGH? Thanks.".

If you're having trouble staying hard, a girl MAY read it as not being aroused enough. So if you pop E to get hard enough she's going to feel you're only interested in her when she's high.
Sound cool to you?

Cinnamon

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That wasn't meant to be taken as good advice, just general advice.

Both of you doing it could be fun, but that being the first time would make her expect more of you later

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

The OP sounds like a young man.

If a young man can't get hard when faced with a yummy slice of vagina, this IS A PROBLEM. No "relaxing" or "taking it easy" will solve this. Google all you want but sounds like you'll need professional assistance.


'

I think it depends, there's a lot to be said for nervousness, kasabi.

I'm 18 and if I'm nervous or uncomfortable I have trouble feeling aroused and I know several other boys and girls who have the same problem.

Sexual arousal is not the body's main priority when the sympathetic nervous system is running. 'Fight or Flight' does not leave much room for arousal.

I think the attitude that 'Dude, there's a pussy there, why the fuck aren't you rock hard?' is exactlly what makes this nervousness so rampant. Everyone is different and while biological instincts are the same, societal pressures can over-ride them. Otherwise, there'd be a lot more people fucking in trains.

Cinnamon

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Cinnamon, thanks for the female insight but . . .

Women are completely different. Which is why SO MANY young guys simply don't understand it when us older guys recommend to them that in order to get any play, women need to be:

1. Comfortable with the guy
2. Comfortable with the environment
3. Comfortable with social outcome of the fuck fuck exercise.

Go back to college . . . how many horny guys have you known who asked girls to fuck fuck in the dorm room while their roommates are just watching tv and drinking beers or just hanging out and sleeping? They pop boners just fine and they fire their seeds just fine. How many girls do you know who relented? Do you know ANY who have achieved orgasms under these conditions?

Young men pop boners in the classroom, when their boxers rub them the wrong(right) way, when they smell a funny perfume or a cheeseburger, when they watch Rambo VI, etc . . .

This biological difference is also the reason why men tend to be "net fishermen" in terms of the game. We go out and just toss the net out(hit up as many as we can) and see what pops out of the water. We toss a few back and keep a few out of time constraints.

Women tend to be rod/reel fisherman because they tend to need to build trust over more time than men in order for them to reach, "I'm OK to FUCK NOW" stage. They stand around and toss their bait in the water to see if a fish bites. Then they spend as much time as they need to see if they can comfort can be built up . . .

Believe me . . . a young man should even be popping a ton of "absolutely no reason boners" all the time . . . but if a real life vagina action can't get you going . . . it'll take a lot more than breathing exercises to fix this problem.

reaper21 didn't indicate he was having difficulty achieving an erection under any other circumstances, and from the tone of his post I believe it implied that this is a new (and obviously frustrating) problem. His age is irrelevant to the problem at hand.

Psychology is responsible for far more erectile disfunction than any biological problem. Sure, a lot of guys get hard at the drop of a pencil. But just as many get performance anxiety and can't get it up when they're under pressure. A lot of those guys are the same guys.

Kasabi, I can't tell if you're perpetuating a sexual myth because you're malicious or because you simply do not know what you're talking about. The Kinsey Institute has done extensive research on the subject of performance anxiety and sexual function. A quick search found more than FIFTY articles that included the words "performance anxiety." A quick scan of those will tell you that they ALL attest to it's profound effect on sexual performance. A quick scan of Google, with the query "performance anxiety sex" comes up with a whole lot of articles, the VERY FIRST of which informs us "When we're anxious, we're running away from dinosaurs, we're not ready to have intercourse. So our plumbing does not work when we become anxious, and therefore when we're extremely anxious we just can't perform very well sexually."

Here's a link to Kinsey. http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/
Here's a link to Google. http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&safe= ... arch&meta=
Educate yourself.

And for the love of the gods, when giving out advice on something as touchy as the topic of a man's penis, do some research before spouting your mouth off. Having had this problem in the past (as a young man, and now as an old man), it is fucking _insulting_ to have you question my masculinity and health before taking the time to learn before you speak.

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Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

when the first time i was going to get hard i couldnt. i know the reason too. we were in my car, so it was uncomfortable, and we were hooking up for like probabl close to an hour, so the whole time i had a hardon but then i finally got her to have sex w/ me, and i immediately got nervous, and that coupled w/ the amount of time i had been hard, just made it soft. it was also late and i was tired. hpe that helps

Limp dick Monkey dude,

Read my post again without your "I'm an insecure limp dick too" attitude.
I AGREE with you . . . which is WHY I suggest the OP seek PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE.
EVERY GUY without health problems yes. Whereas nearly all healthy girls cannot be turned on if the environment is not comfortable for them.
I agree if you're too anxious to have sex, the problem must seem as big as being chased by . . . oh my GOD! . . . Dinosaurs! . . . If you're a girl that is . . . or maybe a really, really faggy gay dude.
YOUR masculinity? I don't even know who you are limp dick! If you want to know why you can't get your dick up, look in the mirror and work on your insecurities. What are you, the speaking representative for the "Guys who can't get it up due to psychological reasons but we really have no problems at all" CLUB?

And regarding health . . . are you implying "psychological health issues" are not really "health issues"? Dude, if you have a problem, you have a problem. Had you faced it and solved them through PROFESSIONAL help when you were younger, perhaps you wouldn't be such an emotional limp dick today. You should be helping me urge the OP seek professional assistance ESPECIALLY because of your "limp" background. Instead, your actually opposing it. . . . Ironic. . .