well the whole 30 minute walk thing, dude, there are no neighbourhoods round here. theres my village and another village. and theyre not safe. sutffs being vandalised and stolen all the time. people get beaten up and mugged. a guy was murdered here once. this is a village man. were talking 1000 people tops. its not a nice area, and these people know me from when i went to school with them and was a geek victim. i still get shit from em when im walking around, and its actually impossible to win. if i have a great comeback theyre too stupid to understand it. if i ignore em theyve won.

secondly, im not gonna say hello to random people. its weird. is there actually no way to get girls apart from approaching?!

i know many people who are great with women, not one of them approached, or even heard of people approaching women.

third, im reading/listening to stuff by paul mckenna, the overlooked nlp genius. i also got a book by richard bandler, with an audio cd. hopefully these can help banish my fears.

ive realised from just reading paul's book for like half hour, that if I don't believe I'm worth these girls, I simply won't get them. He has a section in there of how most guys will see a girl whos great and believe shes unnattainable. most guys correspond the perfect woman to be someone they cannot get, and are not worthy of.

i can totally agree with this. it does make sense to me. im gonna give his book instant confidence a try at the same time as richard bandlers stuff.


btw, Im terrified of people man. I cant even talk to shop clerks. I know nothing bad will happen, but i still choke up and my voice goes weak.

cant any of this be resolved without actually approaching people, cos screwing up is very embarrassing

finally, the first point about bars and clubs. im going to clubs man, ive only just started going out and its a good experience for me. i have never sarged. im too scared. my friend is reading the game, and hes a natural but hes gonna put his natural game in with unnatural game. hes explaining to me in unnatural terms what his natural game is. its interesting, and hopefully hell be able to show me whats wrong with the way i come across.

=D

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"I learnt my passion in the good old fashoned school of lover boy!"

There is a way to not approach women to pick them up but sadly it only starts happening once you have done lots of approaches and can just chill with a beer and be opened.
As for the kino, it feels weird to begin with but if you keep with it, it begins to feel normal. Also in terms of order you have got it spot on, start small (the same sort of touch you would barely think about) then move up bit by bit till you are kissing.
Finally, villages are perfect for chatting to people as they are usually quite close knit etc. Hope that helps x

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Troll the trolls
free book http://www.4shared.com/file/123140320/b ... ndows.html

Shred stop being a bitch and making excuses.

Like Mystery said (paraphrased), we all have the same fear, but the difference between us and you is that we work through it, and you pussy out.

Here's how to fix the problem: practice hitting on/talking to girls. Fight through the fear.

You seem to be such a rational guy, yet when it comes to this completely irrational fear of yours, you're paralyzed.

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- VIRGIN -

Ok guys, I'm not going to be an asshole keyboard jockey who pretends to have game. I'm a virgin, weight my ideas/advice accordingly.

Wow...You're as fucked up as a soup sandwich...get over yourself dude! Pull your head out of your ass and go TRY SOMETHING!!!! You can't just pick and choose what will work with out even trying it! For your information I was(along with a majority of others here) and major geek, nerd, tool, loser...you name it I was it! You can listen to stupid confidence cd's all day but in the end if you don't have the balls to get out there and do something it's all gonna be wasted money anyway!

Ya know, instead of going different neighborhoods...try going to a different town and hittin up the mall!

And another thing...What do you mean talking to random people is weird? HOW DO YOU THINK APPROACHING WOMEN WORKS!!!! You were given a larynx(voice box) to communicate to people...use it!

I can't stand people who ask for advice but are too fuckin hard headed to even try before just saying it won't work!!

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-Crain Diesel

BOATS AND HOES!!!

I looked through the previous posts and I don't think this was mentioned.

Shred, you said Rye Lee wrote a post a while ago, maybe a few weeks? Anyway, he was explaining that when we call it AA it hinders us. Because we think about about freezing up and just having anxiety. Instead, he suggested that its really Approach Anticipation Excitement. So when you think about approaching you get excited out of all the possibilites that could come out of it. You could meet a great friend, or a wonderful girlfriend, or this or that...or all these other great things. I'd highly recommend using the search funnction and finding that thread and reading it. I had read it, and it really helped me to start talking.

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Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

thankyou for all the advice, but seriously guys im absolutely terrified of approaching. i cant handle that type of rejection! dudes if one girl rejects me it kills for ages. i dont think twenty rejecting me will numb the pain. to me thats just negative validation in a feedback loop. thats thinking logically anyway.

I cant believe im gonna have to approach at some point. im actually scared now thinking about it.

I know I'm cool, and I know I'm funny, but I don't think I'm attractive whatsoever. hence scared of being rejection and validated on the limiting belief. affirmations do nothing for me btw, so any other ideas would be much appreciated

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"I learnt my passion in the good old fashoned school of lover boy!"

Aight bud, you know, and I know, hell...everybody knows, that you're biggest fear in an approach is rejection. I know it's not going to help telling you it's most people's biggest fear, or that it's the hardest part for any guy to get over, or anything. That's basically all been said.

What I DO know, and I KNOW this for a fact, and again, it's already been said in this thread, is that you NEEEEEED to get out there and do it regardless. It's going to hurt, you're going to feel bad, and it will suck. You might not try it again for another week. But dude, you need to do it. You got this entire board supporting you. What exactly are you thinking that's going to happen if you get rejected? I promise to you, by all things existing in this world or any other, that you will be fine. You will get over it, and you will be a stronger person because of it. I PROMISE!!

Think of it like lifting weights man. At first you might not have be able to lift more then just the 45 lb bar. But you stay focused. You know you are better then that. You keep lifting that bar until it hurts really really bad and you can't go on any further. You rest up, you get over it. You're arms are startin to feel better now. You go back to the gym and lifting the bar is easier this time. You throw a couple small weights on it and now it's 50 lbs. You do the same thing until it hurts just as bad as it did last time. You recover and come back and do the same damn thing over and over again until you're up to 250 lb reps man. It takes time, and it takes alot of practice and repetition. But if you stay focused, I promise you that you will see results. It's not going to be easy. Nothing in life generally is. You work for what you want, and you will get it.

If you have some good friends to talk about it IRL that will listen and help you out, then I suggest just practicing it on them. Get one of your friends that happen to be a girl to help you out. Practice makes perfect. Throw diff. scenarios into the mix. Do anything and everything you can bro.

If you have a local pizza place around you, go up to the pizza place and ask if you can hand out flyers or coupons to people in your neighborhood on a weekend or something. Take the flyers, and pass them out door by door to your neighbors. Think of it like it's you're job to initiate a conversation with them as much as possible. Anything that gets you into social interaction with another person is only going to help you.

The most important aspect of this for you to take in man, is that in order for anything anybody says on here to take any effect on you, you have to be willing to help yourself. I really hope you understand that, and I really hope you keep that in mind. You are you're biggest enemy and there isn't very much anybody else can do for you until you realize that and want to change that aspect of yourself for the better.

Cheers bud, and I really do wish you the best of luck.

This also helped me a little bit.

Think about it. If someone approached you, are you going to bite their head off? Are you going to make them feel bad about themself so they run away with their tail between their legs? I really doubt it because you're a nice guy. Most people in the world are nice people. They aren't going to reject you just for saying hi, or asking a question.

I liked the idea about handing out the flyers for a local pizza place. Also, you could start out small. Whenever you make eye contact with someone, smile. One day, say hi to everyone as your passing them. Little things like that will get you closer to your goal.

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Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

trauma, your message hit me man. like a ton of bricks. ive decided im gonna start approaching. im gonna use david wygants very natural line of, " look i wouldve killed myself all day if i didnt come up and talk to you" its not really a line when its true right? and i think starting small is gonna make me waste time and i wont improve. ill make the excuse of "well if some girl blows me off for a flyer, whats she gonna think when i try and chat her up!" im just gonna jump in at the deep end. and i can sink or swim. everyone has to learn to swim though dont they! i may not start tomorrow, but i will definitely approach by saturday. and im not talking one approach. i aim to approach 25 girls by the end of this week. i bet i do all the approaches on friday night. tbh, the "quality looking" girls at my college are stupid sluts who do hair and beauty cos they have no other options. i might hang round the art block for a bit see how it goes. thats my goal for you guys, 25 approaches in 5 days. thats only 5 a day, ill approach a girl every time i eat a piece of fruit hahaha.

well ill keep count of approaches, but luckily my best friend has just got into pickup so i have a solid wing every time i go out. the guy is fearless and i reckon within like 2 months he could be good enough for puatraining coaching! hes read half of the game and is using pickup terminology already, he totally understands the whole concept of every theory out there. i cant wait to sarge with him on friday!

i will post on here every time ive approached. expect maybe one or two in the week but friday night i will defintely be approaching like a nutter!

The Shred

x

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"I learnt my passion in the good old fashoned school of lover boy!"

Good deal player. Glad I could help you out. Just make sure you do what you said you're gonna do and don't procrastinate! Let us know how it goes man.