The Milton Model, and how it can help you. Enjoy =)

I think one of the greatest things NLP provides to pickup is use of the Milton Model (named after the famous hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson). In essence, the Milton Model uses language to enable you to (O’Connor & Seymour):

1. Pace and lead the person’s reality
2. Distract and utilize the conscious mind
3. Access the unconscious and its resources.

1. Pace and lead

I’m going to talk about pacing and leading in terms of the Milton Model, because in general the concept is very powerful and more can be said about it alone.

The best way to pace a person’s reality is to describe her/his ongoing sensory experience. E.g. “As you read these words…and notice the grey background colour in your periphery…whilst you realize the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe…and begin to feel really good with each breath…and notice how deeply you are entranced.” Etc.

Obviously during pickup you have to calibrate this and use it in context, or freak out the girl. An example that is more in the context of pickup rather than hypnotherapy, would be:

Rafiel: Hey there, you seem to be having fun, dancing like a chicken.
HB: Oi! Yeah, I am actually.
Rafiel: Haha. My name’s Rafiel. (Shakes hand and twirls the girl.) Haha. Poor you, your feet must be aching from all that dancing in this dark room though as you’re talking to me, I think it’s easy to have a lot of fun, because fun people are great to hang out with, especially crazy people. Do you like crazy people?
HB: Depends how you define crazy.
Rafiel: You.
HB: You’re so mean.
Rafiel: I know.

Ok. I cold approach by pacing the girl’s reality – I tell her what she’s doing, and how she’s doing it (with a fun, relaxed, teasing slant). Now that I have paced, I lead by introducing myself and twirling her. Now I pace again by mentioning her feet might be hurting (kinesthetic sense) and that the room is dark (visual sense). I then smoothly lead into the fact that it is fun talking to me; because I have described her reality (facts), she is more likely to accept the last statement (not necessarily a fact). Politicians use this technique all the time, particularly with the ‘yes frame’. Use transitions such as ‘whilst’, ‘as’, ‘and’, ‘at the same time’, ‘just like’ so sentences flow smoothly. The rest of the interaction I finished off for kicks.


2. Distract and utilize the conscious mind


This is the Milton Model at its best. It is the art of being vague. Or the art of being artfully vague. Hmm. Whatever. We are vague so that we can impose our reality on the girl without her questioning it. It’s as if her reality is a large square-shaped hole. We impose a small circle that we think will fit in, not a specific star-shape that is likely to hit the edges and she will call you out and fuck you over.

The main methods to be vague are:

Nominalizations
Modal operators
Presuppositions => comparisons & Judgements
Universal quantifiers

I have decided not to go into these otherwise you will not stay amazingly interested and enthusiastic about this article for so long anymore. However to convey the idea, I will give an example:

Rafiel: Hey, you know it’s amazing when you communicate with someone (point to self) who you really feel for.

HB: Yeah like I totally agree, it’s really nice to be able to get along with someone without having to feel like you’re trying to impress them all the time.

In this example, ‘communicate’ and ‘feel’ are an unspecified verbs. By being vague, you allow the girl to fit her reality into what you are saying. You provide the frame, she paints the picture. By doing this, you glean authentic information about her values and what she wants. You can later use these to your advantage. So note her trance phrase ‘really nice’ and her value ‘not impressing all the time’. Feed these back to her later to generate massive attraction and/or rapport. Often people become amazing at interacting with others when they learn these skills.

3. Access the unconscious and its resources.

There are many vehicles used in NLP to accomplish this, some of the main techniques being:

Conversational postulates
Quotes
Analogue markers
Embedded commands
Negative commands
Presuppositions

I will not go into these in detail for the aforementioned reasons. However, I will explain the concept at heart so you can understand. In order to access the unconscious, we provide messages to it. So when you tell a child “Don’t touch the radiator!”, all his unconscious is understanding is ‘touch the radiator!’ Better to tell him to ‘Stay away from the radiator’. Always frame your desired outcome to the girl in terms of it happening, not in terms of it not happening. E.g. “Shall we sit down” as opposed to “let’s not stand up anymore”.

Specifically, there is a difference between the right and left hemisphere of the brain. The right brain can understand language in a basic form, and as users of NLP we utilize this glitch. We say “Do you think you can come and sit down with me?” This is a conversational postulate; it is a yes/now question, but by answering the question she is presupposing that she will sit down with you. The ‘you can’ is an embedded command, and you can analogue mark this by having a particular gesture whilst you say it, dropping your voice tone, or some other unique feature. Erickson was famous for turning his head sideways whilst delivering such command, so the voice seemed as if it were coming from a different angle.

OKKKKKK. BANG BANG BANG brilliant. Hope this is going to help you interact with women on a great scale. In short, the best thing about the Milton Model in my subjective opinion, is just the art of being vague. A macroscopic extension of this theory, is how you present yourself to the girl overall:

Next time, rather than trying to present yourself with all the attraction switches ticked off like preselection, leader of men, protector of loved ones etc, instead, you don’t need to. Just provide enough information for her to like you, and LET HER IMAGINATION DO THE REST. She will picture you as her shining knight in armour, especially if you close her, because she has to backward-rationalise. Awesome.

There is more to the Milton Model and it has many profound implications, but I hope this has helped as a work in progress. Happy sarging =).

I think this is great, man.
Lovely wrap of the Milton Model.

I'd like to include the idea of pacing & leading that can be a great rule of thumb.


Pace - pace - lead
pace - lead - lead
and lead on.

Pacing is just to establish easy rapport,
So you seldom need to pace more than a couple of times, before enough rapport has been built to lead.
therefore, pace, pace, lead, pace, lead lead lead....
Cause and effect is also great to combine with pacing and leading.

As you sit there, reading these words, you may find that this is a useful way of communicating a message, and as you realize that this is good stuff, you may be surprised to find how easy it is to incorporate, and you can really see yourself using it...

(that one is pace, pace, lead, pace, lead.... sorta )

Excellent post buddy!

To expand on the non-verbal side of things, when building rapport with someone, you should be matching their body language. But if you start copying them immediately (including heart rate, amount of blinks per unit time etc), if they don’t call you out, they will unconsciously be repelled by you. You should start by matching their body language perhaps 20 seconds after they change, then 10 seconds the next time they change, then 5, then almost immediately etc.

This is the same when walking with someone or breathing at the same rate. Don’t suddenly start walking in time with their walk, but gradually slide into it. Oftentimes you’ll notice when you ‘try’ to do this, you desynchronize and it was better when you were just being natural anyway.

There was a famous example I think of Bandler or someone, who did a live demonstration in front of an audience when taming an apparently ‘untamable’ horse. No trainer or anyone could tame it without the use of drugs. It was released, and started jumping around the place on stage. The NLP practitioner, rather then trying to pet it and be nice to it like others, simply started dancing around like a maniac. The audience didn’t have the clue what the hell he was doing. He was even more crazy than the horse.

Then, he started to calm down, just a little bit. And so did the horse. The more he calmed down, in stages, so the horse matched him. Eventually the horse was calm and still, as was the practitioner =)

The easiest way I know to synchronize brainwaves and such with another person is as simple as to match your breathing.
If you then lead by slowing down the breathing a little at a time, deeper and deeper breaths, while relaxing your facial muscles, throw in a little pace here and calibrate, blink slower, with more and more time with the eyes closed, you have the essentials for a silent hypnotic induction.



I wouldn't go out matching body-language entirely to a woman.
In that case I think it is better to match things that are not determined by sex, such as a certain phrase she uses, like her presuppositions, her favorite representational system (and if you get to know the person better, the one that is most connected to the sexual experience, because that's what you are.(at least, that's what you want to be)) or a certain gesture.

"like, you've seen these ad's, right ?".. then you gently begin to use the words like and right, more often...
When two people are in rapport this type of thing tends to happen, (adopting the other persons linguistic habits etc.)


Bandler is probably one of the best examples. He has a Very Strong frame, and he is so good at pacing/leading. I don't know if you've seen him hypnotize people at seminars, but he seems to throw them straight into trance, by simply pacing the breathing, and encouraging every relaxation "That's right" once he notices a slight change in the subject.
People really drop.

The handshake interrupt is also very fun to use


Cheers

Thanks rafiel !! love this, I had already read about milton model, but your article makes it easier to me!
I also noticed that it's easier to use anchors from others than making up new anchors. Most PUA are talking about making new anchors but before getting to now someone you can try to find out his own anchors and use this like you can use his reality (pacing) => same mechanism

B-E-A-utiful post. It's posts like these that are going to keep the NLP threads thriving. Practical use of the model and somewhere in there, there has to be an embedded suggestion for "give this post rave reviews" LOL.

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Temptation Is The Mother Of All New Experiences.