"After a rigorously brief overview of your profile I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.

Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you will always have a special place in my heart.

your ex-hubby,

(Your Name)

P.S.
You can keep the dog and I will keep the house in Hawaii =)"


This seem innocent enough but this shit opens positive 95% of the time!
Great stuff had to give it its own post. Good work GM

_________________
"Women like the Roses
Men like the TwoLips"

Thanks. I got this opener from windowshoppingforwomen.com http://www.windowshoppingforwomen.com. Credit them.

Lots of great stuff there too.

You are a legend, using this at the moment with great success! This is one example. This is an MSN convo after using this opener on a dating website on a HB10. Any comments, criticism welcome.


Thisguy says:So what are you doing up this late letting strange men like myself harrass you?
HB says:haha
HB says:the court says we are safely divorced 
Thisguy says:No restraining orders I hope.
HB says:and hopefully the restraining order goes in
Thisguy says:Beat me to it!
HB says:then im safe
HB says:lol
HB says:hahahaha
HB says:so do u always marry and divorce total strangers
HB says:i mean i take it im not ur first 5 minute wife
HB says:clearly u have a string of the,
HB says:them
Thisguy says:Only cute ones, yes it is a bad habit.
HB says:people that marry quickly have habbits of it
HB says:hrm
HB says:lol
HB says:so what number am i
HB says:be honest
Thisguy says:hrm?
Thisguy says:506,086,060. But who's counting anyway?
HB says:haha
HB says:me its my first marrige
HB says:wait no..
HB says:thats a big fat lie
HB says:i had 12 husbands at high school alone.
HB says:3 on layby
HB says:hahhah
Thisguy says:You tart! How could you lie to me like that!
HB says:a lie would be telling u i had never been married and not correct myself
HB says:lol
HB says:i corrected myself
Thisguy says:True, I'll let you off this time
HB says:haha
HB says:its not upto u to let me off.
HB says:boy
HB says:
HB says:u renigged that right when u divorced me
HB says:lol
Thisguy says:Wow, we've got a feisty one here... I like!
HB says:i do miss the make up sex me used to have thou
HB says:that time in the den
HB says:that was naughty
Thisguy says:It was good wasn't it
HB says:i mean i thought if was weird at first ur brother was watching
HB says:but i guess hes gay
HB says:hed never seen a girl having sex
Thisguy says:The things we used to do to each other. *sigh*
HB says:hahahahah
Thisguy says:What? You got me, shit!
HB says:hahahahahaa
HB says:u live like a million miles from (her location)
Thisguy says:No, you live like a million miles from (my location). Apartfrom me, you're not missing out on much. :p
HB says:hahaha
HB says:well 
Thisguy says:I'm just finishing up in the office, was checking my mail on the site and just thought I'd have a bit of fun and your profile stood out. I thought "better talk to this poor desperate girl cos n oone else will."
HB says:(her location) is where its happening
HB says:hahahahhaha
HB says:sure u gota me
HB says:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HB says:office
HB says:dont tell me u run some smutty magazine
HB says:all the horn bags with nice bodies do
Thisguy says:Yes, unfortunately a bit behind in work so pulling a late shift.
HB says:at least u have work ethic
HBsays:or at least no life.
HB says:after u divorced me im sure u had a hard time finding new friends
HB says:with that body if urs
Thisguy says:I think its a bit of both. No smutty magazine here, I sell real estate.
HB says:hhaha
Thisguy says:haha
HB says:well
HB says:i havent met a real estate agent who hasnt tried to pick me uop
HB says:or marry me lol
HB says:cheeky breed u agents
Thisguy says:we can't be trusted can we?
HB says:who knows ive never dated one
HB says:i mean besides from the one i married
HB says:one time
Thisguy says:I bet he was a good sort, one might even say the best! :p
HB says:i dont remember 
HB says:it was so brief
HB says:wish i could remember anything but the sex
HB says:THAT WAS GOOD
Thisguy says:So you basically used him as a piece of meat to get rour rocks off when it suited? Bloody women, only one thing on your minds!
HB says:hahaha
HB says:he was the same
HB says:I'd wake up to him screwing me 
HB says:before hed leave for work
HB says:lol
Thisguy says:What a good bloke. haha.
HB says:i know 
HB says:awsome
HB says:hahah
HB says:u cant sleep with a thing like that going on
Thisguy says:There's worse things to wake up to.
HB says:definately
HB says:i can thing of a few
Thisguy says:So what do you do for fun in (her location)? I used to live in R(outer suburb of her location) when I was younger, that was a bit boring though, too far from the city.
HB says:haha
HB says:lots of things
HB says:if i tell u u might wanna come visit me
Thisguy says:So, duh.. you like..uh.. you know... stuff?
HB says:cant have that youll be thrown in jail
HB says:i like things
HB says:oh and stuff
HB says:and hobbies
Thisguy says:Get that restraining order off and Im there. haha
HB says:they r good too
HB says:hahaha
HB says:sure u are
Thisguy says:Sorry to love, marry, divorce, reconcile and leave you but I have to go babe. You are fun! I'll speak to you again if you're nice to me.
HB says:hope so..
HB says:u always on net at work?
HB says:lol
HB says:ill keep an eye out
Thisguy says:Usually if I'm in the office.
Thisguy says:Night babe.
HB says:sleep tight
HB says:x

Playa

That ended up working like gold, and you had some great follow-up with it. Congrats

OMG.. I just got caught using this! She sent me a hyperlink to the first link in google search and commends me for my originality.. What should I do??

haha. that was fun!! however i have another opener from david d

it goes like this.

i was looking on the face book for old friends and i go like "look at all these poor lonely and desperate women"...and then i see u and tell myself "look at this poor lonely and desprate girl who is actually cute.." so i thought i'd write u and see if u are as intresting on the inside as u are in ths picture.

"OMG I told my friend not to tell anyone else and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!"

Her response to that..
I've been informed by male friends that men cannot understand the subliminal messages that women try to get across, so allow me to spell it out for you:

YOUR A DOUCHEBAG!

"LOL You're like a 4th grader. You just like me. I bet if you had rocks you'd be throwing rocks at me. Then you'd LOVE me."

She'll probably not respond, but hey, live and learn right?

For future reference, always modify material you read. Recall it and restate it in your own words.

Abort...

lol Shes obviously too smart. Smart girls are no fun
If anything id write her just to give props on snakin me!

If u do google the opening line of this, its scary what comes up.

_________________
"Women like the Roses
Men like the TwoLips"

How should I reply to this new chick:

Dear Ex-Hubby,

Thank you. I'd rather have the dog than house in Hawaii. I learned that material things can be replaced, while sentimental things cannot. I love our dog like a child. I'm happy we remain friends. Take care and I wish you all the best!

Sincerely,
HB8

@ vital:
I would use one of these ways to reply (or combine some of them):

- Accuse her of taking things WAY too seriously

- Tease her by asking if she always agrees to marry one minute men..and how much minutes she was on today

- Accuse her of being a pervy chick who's surfing the internet looking for dudes to take advantage off and steal their dogs against their will..

etc.

An opener for women with hardly any profile info

"Dear dude who set up this fake female profile to see what women receive,

You thought you wouldn't draw attention to yourself..by setting up a profile with cheezy photos didn't you?
But dude..don't you think an almost EMPTY profile is a bit TOO obvious when you want to pass as a normal girl?

Either that, or you're a blonde lady that just discovered what the word "internet" means (A)"

Why is this one so effective? Because:
A) You're playfully accusing her of being a MAN, how much more could you bust a woman's balls? It's outrageous, challenging and teasing at the same time

B) You're indirectly teasing her about the quality of her photos (and her lame taste)

C) By accusing her to be a guy who set up a fake profile to check out what kinds of messages women receive, you let her know that you understand what kind of CRAP females get everyday: 20-50 messages that are needy or desperate (you're cute so add me on blabla@bla.com), cheezy (is heaven missing an angel?) or predictable (you're gorgeous) > understanding women can onto itself be VERY attractive because 99% of the men come across like they DON'T understand, so understanding makes you unique

D) You're accusing and teasing her of being a computer illiterate blonde just in case she tries to deny being a man, which means challenging her to come up with a better explanation then "I'm a woman!"

E) The most important one: around HALF of all the female profiles I saw online either is totally empty (because they're new), almost empty (because they're lazy or set to private) or boring (their profiles suck), so having a standard opener for it kicks ass!

If a chick tries to bust your balls on that, either congratulate her or just blow it off. You don't really have anything to gain by trying to write something clever back

wtf dude! common! there is always a way to come back and destroy a shit test! it all depends on how stuck up that girl is!

from my experience, girls(HB6-8 ) who shit test dudes are the ones with least online experience! i mean, they don't get hit on too often to realize that we, as pua's, are different than every other guy out there. so these girls are just a bunch of wannabe's who are not used to getting hit on by guys that often especially on-line!

thus they are not that hard to crack!however, if she still gives u a shit test after the 5th message, then yea! it is not worth to even talk to her! there is some serious lack of self esteem or problems with her trust issues that she has to deal with!

always reply to a shit test!!! take on the challenge, COS THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY!8)