Maybe you guys can help me with something that has been affecting me for a while.

A few years back I was a really happy person, had good relationships with lots of people, healthy relationships with women, a very positive outlook on things, and generally had a sense of reality that made me feel great and really enjoy life.

What then happened is that I moved to another city to work, where I had bad experiences with people, put myself into lots of drama and generally things didn't go good for me.

My situation now is that I have a long term girlfriend I really like, and social life is very good, but there is still something missing that I think got lost in the past.

I can't seem to be able to go back into my old sense of reality. It is kind of a feeling of discomfort that is still there. It is subtle but I can notice it.
I don't think it is that much an issue of positivity or confidence, I think it goes much deeper than that.

When I listen to music I used to listen back in the day, I feel a weird tension in my body I can't really describe well. As if I was looking to my old sense of reality through my new one.

It is as if my whole perception of the world has changed. Things aren't as warm any more. I don't get the same feeling I had in the past of life being something really enjoyable and fun, and I see people differently now.

I tried getting new reference experieces to change my way of seeing the world but that didn't seem to help. The amount of energy, good feelings, excitement, positive outlook and warmth I experienced back in the day don't seem to come back.

I know this is not something related to getting girls but I was wondering if someone can relate to my situation and maybe help me by sharing his experiences.

Thanks a lot!

It's just all a part of growing up. Another city, a long term girlfriend, a good social life, but what's missing is the basis of the tension. That tension may be there to remind you of things you had forgotten about that weren't so great back in the day.

Sometimes just when I "look into the past", I start having these pleasant memories. Then, one by one, I start to remember the more embarassing parts of those times. It seems, from my conversations with others, they all say "accept it as a part of life". That tension might be memories, locked away for safe-keeping. The mind can do stuff like that.

If things are going good for you now, focus on the now, now. lol, seriously, soon the now becomes the past, and you can't bring it back to the future.

I'd say if it becomes an issue that doesn't go away or seems to really trouble you, maybe you could talk to a pro about it. I'm not being mean, just saying if it's keeping you down, there's definitely an option.[/i]

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Try sitting down in quiet for 10-20 minutes. Doing nothing. Clear your mind, bro. Then ask yourself the question "What am I bla bla bla bla?" (as vivid as possible). Think.

You can write down everything you can think of, and then re-write the list with all the garbage removed (important that you write down silly things too^^)

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