This has been bothering me for quite some time now, and since I'm severely sun-burnt on my last day in Maui; I figured I would finally address this topic.

I'm not entirely sure where this first came from, since I don't read much PUA material from the "gurus", I believe it was Mystery however. Though he was using this to talk about the problem that many men face with having enough social proof, most of the community has taken this idea and incorporated into all walks of life. I have had countless of the guys that I've taught as well as people on this forum message me and ask questions like:

-"How can I be more interesting?"
-"Why do women find you so intriguing? And what can I quickly do to become more like that?"
-As well as many other variations.

All of these guys are looking for quick fixes to improve their lives, but don't want to put forth the appropriate effort towards truly making themselves a better person. Faking it until you make it will not make you a better man, it will only create a temporary facade. Examples that I see on this forum all the time include:

-People trying to learn "simple" ways of palm reading, cold reading, tarot reading, magic tricks, forms of cold reading, etc.
-People wanting to learn "how to have more interesting conversations with women"
-ETC ETC ETC

The idea of becoming a PUA isn't about faking it, its about making it. Faking it, will not improve you in any way. The only way you will improve yourself is to set your mind to actively improving yourself on a daily basis. Not just finding a quick how-to guide and memorizing a few simple steps. For instance, guys have repeatedly asked me why girls find me attractive.

Its because I actively train to better myself everyday, not for anyone else's sake, as someone who is faking it will do. I train in Mixed Martial Arts 4 days a week, for who? MYSELF. I read for at least an hour a day on a variety of topics ranging from different forms of spirituality, psychology, science, math, fiction, and self-improvement books. Why? To truly become more intellectual, not to pick up quick bits of information that I can use out in the "field". I go to the gym for an hour to an hour and a half everyday. Why? To remain healthy for my own personal benefit. Not so some girl will want to rub my 6-pack. I regularly make time to study topics that interest me, such as various forms of divinity, skateboarding, hip-hop poetry, and more. Why? Because I personally enjoy it, not so some chick will like me for it.

Though girls may like me because of these things, it is only a side effect of what I genuinely want to do with my life.

The point of this post being. Seek improvement of yourself, for yourself. Don't half ass your way through life, trust me, people can see the difference. Women especially. Instead of seeking fake improvement to validate yourself in the eyes of women, seek genuine improvement of yourself and the rewards of your hard work.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

Meth, great post mate.
It's the same as in anything, if you go in half heartedly, your chances of failure are so much larger than if you are completely dedicated. And if you are doing something just so girls find you more attractive, I don't know how much heart you'll have. But if it's for YOU, then you'll want it much more.

It's like in martial arts, as you will probably know meth, when breaking wooden boards. If you hit the board, aiming for the board, and slightly hesitate, then chances of breaking it are slim, and you will hurt knuckles because, well, you just punched a board... IF you aim THROUGH the board, follow through, and commit to the hit, the board will break cleanly, and you won't be hurting.

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- Difference

Something that annoys me that I see on this forum alot, that I just thought of, is guys constantly posting how they need interesting pictures for their profiles so girls will like them.

Heres a genius idea.

GO THE FUCK OUT, HAVE FUN AND BRING A FUCKING CAMERA WITH YOU. Stop trying to make these staged photographs of yourself just so women will think that you lead an interesting life.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

CREDITED BY ROMEO: Smartest son of a bitch I know

I love you man, (No homo)

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www.pualifestyle.com/forum

I've always interpreted the "fake it till you make it" to mean that you should keep trying something until it's truly part of you. For instance, I'm trying to teach myself how to play violin. I suck at it right now, but I'm gonna "fake it till I make it" - meaning that I'm going to keep attempting to play violin until playing violin is second nature.

I agree though - there are no quick fixes. The old adage goes "garbage in, garbage out". If someone is looking for a quick fix, they'll find newer problems will creep up just as quickly.

I belonged to this songwriter's club when I went to NYU, and one kid asked for a quick solution on how to write better songs. There isn't any quick answer; the only answer is to go out and experience life to have stuff to write about. The same deal with pick-up: you'll only be a successful PUA if you have a life that a HB feels is worth it. Anything else is just being shallow.

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The perfect 5th

For everyone who read "The Game" the whole moral of the book was about Meth's post. Faking it just don't work. You need to actually work on you life as a whole to improve yourself. Great post Meth.

i agree with what meth is saying, however i've always interpreted the 'fake it till u make it' as faking qualities like confidence.

u can no more fake being an interesting guy than u can fake being a handsome one.

D
M

I agree with the concept of not taking easy options, and improving your life as a whole rather than look for the quick, narrow fix.
But the idea of faking being an interesting person. It doesn't really sit well with me. I mean, if you go out, talk about interesting stuff, everyone is intrigued by you then you are interesting. You cannot 'fake' it.
Sure you can fake a smile or sympathy. But you can't fake being interesting. Because if you make people BELIEVE that you are interesting then you are!

Ok, This may/may not have been relevant. Im going to write an essay on emotional stroop tasks, possibly the most tedious thing IN THE WORLD!

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- Giacomo
xx

great post man

I agree and disagree with this. First, I agree that the only way of becoming successful in pickup is through practice in the field. There is no magic pill. Second, I believe "fake it 'till you make it" refers to confidence and social skill. It doesn't matter if you never had success before and have no social skills. If you act like you are successful and you present the attitude that whatever you say is the sunlight of truth and knowledge, the sets are more likely to buy in.

As you get calibrated through practice, you will understand more about social situations and become more comfortable and confident in them.

That's faking it until you make it. People read the lack of confidence and react negatively. If you fake being confident, it will seem strange to the sets but it won't be seen as self doubt or seeking approval. You'll just seem a little weird.

being interesting and intriguing just takes practice. If you can't think of anything to say, pick interesting things to do once a week, then you will have something to say. "Last week I did (insert cool thing here). Next week I'm gonna go (insert another cool thing here)."

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Living the Seductive Lifestyle. Check out my blog www.seductiveman.com

its all marketing dude...our beloved PUGs are saleman feeding us dreams to make their pockets bigger.

But i personally believe some guys need it. Its all part of the journey. Imagine a nerd coming up. He doesn't have nothing together. His BL is off, has no vibe and shit becomes awkward. Since he doesn't have any positive experienes he needs to fake it. When he fakes it he may get interactions that could bring him confidence. And from that he has a refrence point to grow. When the same nerd practices he can deprogram himself from all the illsuions of the media.

Its just how things are but if folks had their inner game completely solved no one would need much of these routines or have AA. It would all just flow like water...

*Mystery Method is mainly for people who mostly think logically and need a road map*

I understand your point Meth...but have you ever looked at a AFC and PUA? They live in two completely different worlds. One is self limited and the other is self validated.

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"Fuck her if she can't take a joke"
-Tucker Max

This is more a societal comment more than anything. A nerd coming up through the ranks of high school and college, has their confidence squashed because of the way society views intelligence. People put nerds down because they're overly smart, and unfortunately the part of their brain, for being socially adaptable, never got the chance to develop as a result of people alienating them. Simple. These nerds as result of this social rejection, managed to go on and become millionaires through sheer determination. Let's take for example Bill Gates. I pulled an article, which was written in an Australian newspaper, and it's an interview with Bill:

Bill Gates lays out 11 rules that students do not learn in high school or college, but should. He argues that our feel-good, politically-correct teachings have created a generation of kids with no concept of reality who are set up for failure in the real world. You might be interested in his list:

RULE 1 - Life is not fair; get used to it.

RULE 2 - The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3 - You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6 - If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try 'delousing' the closet in your own room.

RULE 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9 - Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.


I would be correct in saying that all of us would know who Bill Is, and that his accomplishments, are quite significant. He will be a man who will be going into the history books and that his success has come with hard work. Now I know this may be an exaggerated example, however trying to become a PUA, is hard work, LIFE in general is hard work. The point being that their success in their fields, didn't come from half assing their exams, they worked hard. However hard work, doesn't complete the entire picture, in terms of becoming a PUA.



Not entirely so. Go back to the book, and read the part about, how mystery described PUA... he described it as an art, not a science. If pua, were more about being a science, then it would be fine to have all a list of all the routines there are and go out there and sarge, using the set routines, which for some of you are perhaps following (a little too closely). But it's been described as an "Art". I'm studying communication at university, and there's a principal which holds for all conversations, " For effective communication, you must remember that what you bring into a conversation is you. You're bringing in your past: Culture, experiences, religion, heart break, fears. Your present: everything that has affected you during the day, like having excessive amounts of work to get through. Your future: your desire for social interaction". It's because of that principal you have to realise, that if any of those aspect aren't a part of you, you'll crash and burn.

For those who have decided to use routines, and forgotten a line, or got a different response to a question... what have you done? Have you frozen up? Have you blurted out something, out of nervousness? If so, at this point you may have crashed and burned... put simply your F***ed. Back to my point that PUA is an art form, and tying in the communication principal (that i'm sure bored the hell out of you), you bring yourself to these conversation with women. With PUA being an artform, you must find your own, individual talents, strengths, experiences, because the key to a good PUA, he is unique. Hence (i'm only assuming here) Methuselah's disgust at some people on the forum (or in life), for not trying to be an individual, and living vicariously through another PUA's routines, gags etc. My point being, is that intelligence should not be feared it should be embraced. Intelligence comes in many shapes and forms, that's up to you to decide where you want to take things. Become an individual...

That's my 2 cents...

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Experience is the teacher of all things - Julius Caesar

I'll keep it simple.

Fake it till you make it? You've got to be fucking kidding me.

This is why everyone is suddenly a PUA, if anything it's the biggest joke i've ever seen.

I see no base, none. Fake it all you want for one night, you can have every routine in the book down, you can act it, charm it, dick it around a few times; but come day 2, when she gets to know you, she'll see who you really fucking are.

What the lesson?
1.) Get your inner game straight.
2.) You don't live to breathe, you breathe to live. You don't live to improve yourself so that others will like you, You improve yourself so that you can feel accomplished.
3.) Don't read 3 chapters of the game and go out sarging your ass off. I've have this material for almost 2 years now. I have an external hard drive full of shit and I'm barely scratching the surface.

Kudos.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

Meth - I agree. Work on yourself and it creates the image so many aspiring PUA's want. That smooth guy who slays the skirt.

Look, if you improve yourself - build your self esteem (no one can do this for you) and go in to life with an open mind - that outer confidence will show. Copying a line, BL or some other thing only works when you can keep your head on straight. Get in some serious maneuvering with a 10 and it's hard to be ahead of them to use that line you memorized out of some book or DVD.


Develop the inner game and you won't have to think - you simply evolve and react. It's like breathing - you don't have to concentrate on it to do it. Inner game gives you that . Your BL is confident then, your mannerisms come off as natural because they ARE.

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duck
I got to get into this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who's the gopher's ally? His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.