Alright well, I got a couple PMs asking about shockers, and someone who wanted to know more about the other things.
Shockers are an opener created by Brad P, and probably going to be made popular by me.
It disorients them at first by asking a question - follows up with a special kind of story, and builds social tension, then you have a punchline.
It works really well, and it's very easy to come up with your own - well... Unless you've never been "cooler" than a girl at least once. That could happen if you're like 12 years old and on this forum.
Inner Game. Well, you'll feel a shit-load of Approach Anxiety. You need to have the right attitude, and this is how you speak to yourself inside your head. It's how you feel, and how you interpret everybody else.
Confident people don't just fucking sit at home and watch DVD's, read books, and listen to damn CD's instead of approaching and get experience. Confident people go in anyways because it doesn't matter - they act, they are the people who accomplish, and do something. I happen to listen to CDs, watch DVDs, and read books - but - I also approach and try to get as far as I can in every situation. Sometimes I get only as far as the opener and it doesn't stick. Just don't let it phase you. In your mind you say, "Next". Sometimes you'll do it and nothing will stick... Just move on, you got it out of the way and it's inevitable to get a no or not to get very far. It's also inevitable to get a yes, and go all the way.
Your behaviour should be congruent with your so-called beliefs. Beliefs are, a lot of the time, built on sand. They're shifting, and it's not very stable. If you manage to get it firmly rooted though, and you put enough passion into it - then the sand's gonna turn into glass. Try removing a building from a sand-dune made of glass... My guess is it would be pretty fucking hard.
You can look up attractive behaviours in other places - you don't just have to look here. Some things off the top of my head:
Don't be needy. You can approach women with a shitty line, but if you sub-communicate that you're qualifying them then you can make it work. There's no need to supplicate here. Just don't.
Confidence. Act.
Assertive. Stand your ground.
Frames. Interpret things in a certain way - can go hand-in-hand with Assertive if she's giving you a shit-test.
AA vs Shy Alpha.
AA. I've been the nervous wreck who was scared to even talk to somebody at a fast-food restaurant to order, and I was scared to go in elevators alone. This, to me, is approach anxiety - don't even get me started on how I acted with women.
Shy Alpha. This is common for me. I'm not nervous to go out in public, start up conversations with restaurant people, or go in elevators. I'm also great with body language, and I have a crazy, fantastic vibe that I carry around with me. Women tend to open
Me. But that's kind of a bad thing... I'm not scared of talking, but I'm also not completely over my AA. After they open me, it's just money. But I haven't completely changed my flight-or-flight to fight. I always
feel Alpha, but I'm shy. I'm working on getting over this, and I want to smash it so I'm just Alpha. I take what I want, and I'm not afraid to talk - or I am afraid, and I overcome my fears and inhibitions anyways.
Fashion. Ahh, fashion. One of my favourite tools... I have great fashion sense and this signals that I'm one of the insiders, one of the rare guys who care about how they dress. I see guys who go out in ugly clothing, things are mis-matched, dirty old shoes, and their style is Socially Awkward. It's part of why I get opened by girls, and the other is body language and vibe. I went with a Rockstar look because of obvious reason... I think they're more sharply just than gangsters, and they're called good-looking. Shoes are also important, and can vary the style you're trying to go for - sneakers VS high-tops VS dress shoes VS flats VS any other shoe-type. It doesn't always change the style, but it can send mixed messages... Which is actually good.
Gangsters, to me, can look like a bunch of homeless people unless they have good fashion sense. But the gangsters I've seen are white, ugly, walk weird, and have no concept of fashion or life. They're also fronting behind their gangster appearance to make themselves feel confident... I've tested their confidence and they failed miserably. They have really crappy body language, and it's not considered cool to walk properly if you're a gangster, apparently. You need to walk with your thighs out, pants down to your ass, kind of hunched over, swaying your body, and hands on your crotch.
Rockers. This is a classic look, and probably won't fade anytime soon. Jeans and a t-shirt, nice shoes. If you wanted to mix it up have a nice fitting blazer, and you're set. I would normally want to go with high-tops or flats, but sometimes I need to change it with my Nike Dunks because it goes with a different jacket.
Businessman. I won't go too much into this, but I mentioned blazers and stuff. People in this look classy, and if they have the right kind of suit they look like they're mafia or they're wall-street guy. They're powerful, authoritative, dominant figures.
There are a few more styles... But anyways, you can also mix styles and create a tension which works well - but you need to have a discerning eye to see what does or does not work.
Things that go together:
Shoes and jacket
Belt and jacket
Belt, jacket, shoe
Shirt, pants
If you wear a tie or scarf:
Jacket, Tie, Shoes
Shirt, Pants
I don't wear hats, but if I did I'd make it match my jacket, tie, and shoes.
My outfits tend to go like this:
Mixed message = Rocker + Prep + Gangster
Matching = Shirt, Pants, Belt + Jacket, Shoes
Peacocking = Necklace, Watch, T-shirt if I'm wearing one; Tie if I'm going a little more formal. If I feel like showing off I have big silver crown with blue and white crystals for a belt-buckle. I also have a belt-buckle with an onyx ace of clubs card.
Colours = Whatever outfit I have that matches, and compliments each other - black and white, with red accents (red is the printed t-shirt). Black and red with blue accents (Style's kind of outfit... t-shirt over a dress shirt) where the blue is the t-shirt's design, black is the t-shirt's main colour, and red is the dress shirt. I've also worn a hat with this - it was blue and white. It went well, and hid my bad hair. If you look good in certain colours then go wear them - I like the darker colours, and shades. Black and white always look good... Assuming you picked nice clothes. Adding accents make the outfit more interesting.
Oh yeah - the fit. Well, I don't like things too baggy. If my outfit is a rocker then it is kind of skinny - and if my entire outfit is skinny except my jacket which doesn't fit it just gets ruined.
Having nice hair is also important. If you don't have the right hair then the outfit's ruined. Just... Have nice hair. When you take a shower have good conditioner. You put the shampoo, and other stuff in your hair immediately, then you wash it out after you lather it. With the conditioner you'll want to lather it in your hair, let it stay for a couple minutes (I usually leave it for 3) then rinse it out. The bubbles created by the shampoo damage the hair, and makes it dry. Leaving the conditioner in your hair longer allows the hair to absorb the moisture, and look softer and shinier.
Body language and vibe include, but not limited to: eye contact - what I convey through my eyes, and micro-gestures that I'm signalling. Girls are very good at picking this up. I've had fake confidence and real confidence, and they can tell when it's fake - I've been tested on this. But sometimes they'll just let it go and appreciate that you're trying to be confident. But sometimes the confidence comes across as arrogance - so watch out.
I've been typing for like 2 hours, and I'm going to wrap this up really quickly... I'm gonna take a break, watch tv, then get ready for the craziest approach I've ever thought of doing.
Okay:
What not to talk about:
Boring things... Don't make small talk. This is basic. Maybe at first when you're opening, but then you go into deeper things based on what kind of opener you used... And calibration. Don't make meaningless small-talk because that will get you nowhere - and don't talk too deep at first because they'll wondering what the hell you're talking about.
You talk to them like you're talking to a friend - except you also question them. You tell them certain things, and you don't tell them more personal things. They're not that close of a friend yet.
Anybody else mind taking it from here? Talk about what you want... Stop following my system. But here's in applicable detail what you can do. I want to refine this, and elaborate on more concepts.
I'd like it if you guys' actually went out, tried this, then take what works for you from it. If you just read it that's fine... But doing it will take balls, and maybe a good memory if you try following it to a T.
My process for getting things down is putting my subconscious to work - more on this later...