So i have been a member of the community i just have never had this problem.
We have been dating for 2 years and for the last 1.6 years she loved me , every bit , she didn't have much of a social life she would do anything for me.

She started talking about marriage and how i wasn't ready for that. I asked for a week break no contact to decide.... I was scared at the idea.

This week i guess crushed her, we got back together i caught mono couldn't kiss for a month, she wanted to take things slow so no sex.

NOW FOR THE PROB
I now love her , i want nothing more than to make her happy and to better her life. SHE has a new girlfriend buddy and can't make solid plans with me and goes out with The Girlfriend all the time............

We have been dating for two years , i know she needs friends but to ditch me ...... She says she feels bad for neglecting me

She BROKE UP with me on Saturday and got back together after i told her how MUCH i cared and that i have changed from being cold hearted to being loving and I have demonstrated that for the past month......

SO any advice???
How do i get her to stop ditching me?
HOW should I handle this?

well it sounds like what happened (orbiting theory) was while you two were together, she made you the center of her life...but you made her just an important part. Maybe something clicked after a while and she realized that she is still young and that there should be lots of good in her life.

No matter how much you love someone, or someone loves you, that shouldn't be the ONLY thing in your life. What may have happened after she realized that was instead of slowly adding new things, she just jumped in all at once.

Give it some time, explain to her that you care and you want things to work--that everyone needs a social life, but you two need to find a balance.

_________________
[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

Thanks for the advice..... It is just hard to look at things from the outside of a situation.

So should i be less there for her?
should i flake on her once?

I was in the same situation as you were.. everything was centered around each other.. and then she would get new friends and ditch you..

it is a change that you are not used too.. when she is out with her girlfriend. go out with the guys, do something to get away from a "relationship" SPAM and go relax.. i think this is better than being together 24/7.. you'll get sick of each other, trust me.. thats why i ended my 2 year relationship.. besides the fact she cheated on me.. anyways..


just let her have fun with her new girlfriend.. it is a change for both of you and plus i feel it is better in the long run.

I understand what you feel man, Ive been through that, and well, you started you relationship making a huge mistake. You both NEED frends, and social life. A relationship like yours is not healthy, because it consumes you both, and suddenly you find yourself in a bubble with her. What I do always:

When you start a relationship, meet her friends and go out together (you, her, and her friends). Then she goes out with you friends, and thats how things are normal. Theres nothing more comfortable than being in a party with your girlfriend, and at the same time with your friends.

Locke makes a good point and I was thinking just the same. She suddenly realized that she needed to socialize, so she kind of "opened her eyes" and the change was very big.

My advice: Go out with your friends. If you havent called them in about a year, (actually that happens to people when their gf or bf is the center of their life) call them, tell your girlfriend that you would like to know her girlfriend buddy, and the three of you hang out together. Thats the way it should be. Then you go out with your friends and her girlfriend buddy. You should have a group of friends of about 10 people to call and hang out.

I hope that helps man, see you later

Hi WhiteChoc,

there is very sound advice from Locke and SeeknDestroy above. Relationships need to be balanced in every way, including socially.

There are a couple of other things here as well:

1) Why did you scare off the marriage proposal ? Try not to be glib here, look deep down inside, and think about what you REALLY want. Have you expressed these feelings, completely honestly, to her ?

2) I have no idea how old you are, but there are possible relationship experience issues here.

3) Maybe this growing distance is just part of the natural development of the relationship, try not to sweat it.

keep cool man, getwith your male buddy's and rediscover yourself.

cheers,

Phil.