| Jurupa is right about it being a big balancing act between comfort and attraction, but still, on a site aimed at online dating, you HAVE to hit the attraction switch real fast as well, to even get a response going.
NOTE: Everything below has been field tested.
Ive been flirting at at least 200 girls in the last month on a site much like Hot or Not (Im picky, I only flirt the girls who are cute enough), with a varied amount of response... Looking thru my chat logs ive gotten about 50 conversations going, 40 of them being definite potentials but still only about 25 of those that actually went anywhere past the first few lines.
This is a compilation of the openers ive tried, and the various responses.
Things that don't work too well, if at all:
-Direct compliments on their looks, this one is one of the worst (there is an exception I will list it later). If they are obvious sex bombs, then they are fishing for compliments and you will get a "thanks." but thats it, otherwise girls are completely inundated with this crap, so dont go there.
-Being too CF. Its the internet, its famously impossible to properly convey emotions. Save the ultrasarcastic stuff for later in the comfort zone. You will just blow your first impression, and hard.
-Cheezy oneliners. I shouldnt even have to list this.. but what the hell. Sometimes you can get them to laugh tho, especially if they dont take you seriously. Not worth the risk. (I usually tried a few of these when drunk heh, for shits and giggles.)
-Direct AFC, like "I'm just a nice guy, looking for friends and a chat. What are you up to?" etc etc etc..
-Bragging about yourself, even if you do it subtly DHV style, you are just one a million guys trying this approach, and besides, she knows everybody on the net is full of shit. Save those DHV stories for a little further into the conversation.
-Setting up a FtM Qualification "you are beautiful, but what about your personality? What are three things that make you a beautiful person on the inside as well?" Etc etc, ive tried a ton of variations here, no response. Girls WILL NOT feel obligated to qualify to a total internet stranger in the opening, no matter how you set this up, which brings us to the last one..
-Negs Sorry, but you arent in the group, you cant convey any attraction by being there, to her you have ZERO value no matter what your profile says, and I have never gotten any other response than being totally ignored with this. Yes, I know how to neg properly. Save these for when you have some conversation going, something to back you up with, and something for her to fall back to.
Things that work, but its hit and miss:
-Situational comments based on her profile pic. She is skiing, or wearing funny clothes, or whatever... Girls forget whats in their pics, not to mention there are probably a ton of AFCs using this tactic already. Occasionally you will get a hit, but then there is a higher chance the conversation will die out relatively quickly unless you can really change the subject without her just ignoring it.. Still, I did get a few good chats going like this.
-Commenting on Her Smile and following it up with something like "I bet you are a fun person" or "I bet we would get along". I actually got a few hits like this, which surprised me, but at least half the time its a nogo or you just get "thanks, period" and then she ignores further attempts. This is the exception to direct compliments on her looks.
and finally...
Things that work pretty well, if not great!:
-Humorous or witty responses to her own profile text. This one is great, Ive gotten a ton of responses from it, and they have been conversations that have really gone on for several pages or more, and resulted in hookups. Read what she writes about herself, especially if there is a "tag-line paragraph" or whatever, and respond to it. Easy! Just dont make it too CF, and remember emoticons are your friends. In fact, I got the best response when I stuck to funny and left the Cocky out of it entirely.
-Correctly guessing something about her that she doesn't directly post in her profile. I live in Europe, so there is more mix, but as an American I can see this happening stateside, too. Maybe you can guess her nationality by her name if she didnt post it, or you cold read her personality and hit the nail on the head, or you can name something she really likes/is looking for.. Once again, lots of good chats started up like this. Just, easier said than done, of course.
-Crazy Opinion Openers About YOU. The internet was created so that people could take stupid quizzes and fill out innane and insane questionairres. How many of you have taken those retardedly simple IQ tests that put your IQ up with Einstein? If you thought Opinion Openers were good in the clubs, well they are the KINGS of the internet, but there is a catch...
Make sure it relates to you!!! Otherwise they ignore it or you just get a quick answer and very little to build a conversation with. I just used one about if they think it is gay for me to poledance, where I make sure as well to heavy DHV spike it (DHVing works in this case as it is so indirect), and as well I set my whole profile up to resonate with this question for when they check me out before they answer, as they invariably do, and the response has been overwhelming, far better than any other technique ive tried. Now you will get quantity here, so it is up to you to pick out the best responses and garner a few quality chats, but the point of openers after all is starting an interaction, so the more the merrier!
So now you've gotten a conversation started, hopefully. Keep it funny (all those silly sms games work like a charm here if you can get a live chat going) but remember to keep it comfortable too. Sexual jokes ar fine, but only on occasion. If you run a theme, she is going to get uncomfortable real fast. Its more important to talk a bit about yourself, open up, be honest and she will get a good vibe that you are a real person who isn't a)full of shit or b)a crazy psycho trying to lure her into a dirty brown van.
Good luck! =)
[/b]
|
CHAT
