Hey Guys. I'm new, and my story's probably all too familiar, so i'll keep it short. I just graduated, start law school next fall, i'm working with a local firm this year. I'm a runner, training for a marathon, and i'm in the gym regularly. I wasted a couple years playing gigs as a guitarist (didn't pan out but i'm still pretty damn good) so i'm older (27) than the college girls around here. I've been pretty shitty with girls my whole life. One girlfriend, lasted 3 years. I've hooked up with enough girls i guess, about 20, but i sure don't seem to be hooking up as much as i'd like. When i spit game i'm successful, but i don't like putting on that persona, it's not me. When i use game to pick up a girl i have absolutely no respect for her. None. Fuck her and then never talk to her again, that's the pattern. My lack of respect has spread to virtually all girls, i don't even bother going out anymore. Anyway, I just read The Game this weekend. Thought some PUAs might be able to help out a rather discouraged AFC.

Christ, where to start.

First of all, don't spit game - spitting is what you do when there's something distasteful in your mouth. Your game should be coming from inside

Secondly, find a style that's good for you. There's a ton.. juggler, style, mysterymethod, etc. etc. Find one that makes you feel like the woman has some value.

Thirdly, be more selective with your women. Maybe you're not choosing women that have high value. Remember, you have to be impressed by them. Pick a smart one, or pick one with interesting hobbies or a good friend group.

Lastly - mindset. Are you after a fuck or after a girlfriend? If you're just after a one-night stand, of course you're not going to respect them

- Dex

Dex,
You're right on. I don't find the girls i'd have respect for. I'm definitely not wanting the one-night deal, don't know if i want a gf either, but i go in open-minded. I have earned respect from myself through dedication and work. After 22 years of music i still practice 10-20 hours a week. I just graduated with honors. I average 4-8 hours in the gym and 30 miles running a week, and when i've got a couple marathons under my belt i'll start training for an ultra-marathon (100 mi). After i ended my only relationship 4 years ago, i started working to improve myself as a person, i had lost all self-respect. I joined a gym, went back to school, started running, and continued to practice guitar. While i now have a high level of self-worth, i know no one of the opposite sex knows or cares what i've done (i've done a lot, too much to put here), and what i've done is the source of my confidence, it's who i am.

I want to be wanted by a HB, and i want to be able to respect girls. Theres a brunette 8.5 in class sitting 6 desks away from me right now. She's a pretty sorority girl, which means she is probably about as useless as girls come and she most likely has a boyfriend. I told myself i would talk to her before class is over, last day is tomorrow. I already know this girl won't be able to hang with me, sorority girls have no integrity or work ethic, but i can't even approach her to find out for sure. I don't think i'm afraid of rejection, i've been turned down hundreds of times. I just feel like giving up. If i work this hard and girls don't care, why care about girls?

Sounds like you don't want a girl you can respect, but a girl who can respect you.

Anyone who hasn't known you through your period of self improvement is never going to see the magnificent changes you've made in your life. They're going to see the results of that change.

The beautiful sorority girl sitting in your class... how do you know that she wasn't the fat chick in high school? Okay, so she probably wasn't, but how do you know? Do you think she looks at you and sees the person you used to be?

It's completely reasonable to expect you to want to find a girl of the same calibre as you - someone who can match up with your goals in life, etc.

How to do that? Broaden your social circle. Find the girl who's working 2 jobs while paying her way through a med degree. Bet she works pretty damned hard - of course she won't have time to talk to you for another few years, but hey, that's the price to pay.

Also, get to know people better.. you don't HAVE to sleep with them the first night you meet them. Take them out a few times and get to know if they're into the same things you're into. If they're not, find someone else. You're in university, I'm sure there are a few other girls there.

- Dex

Never thought of it that way, but you nailed it again. I guess i felt some kind of comfort in thinking that i don't respect girls, but i really just want them to respect me. I guess i just try to reject before i get rejected, and it really hurts to get rejected by a girl who would be a loser if she weren't pretty.

That's a really interesting observation you made right there.

Would the pretty girl still be popular if she was ugly?

I'm going to explore this idea with others.

- Dex

Hey brother I know the feeling of how this sort of "technology" can lower your moral perception of women. When your running game and gambits that just seem to roll of your tongue and you know exactly what reactions you will get before you even run it, does get a little old.. It sucks to think about all the girls that I have full closed and knew they had boyfriends or found out after....It really makes you loose respect for women. But sometimes what becomes fun and worth while are the HBs that react differently and challenge you and wont sleep with you in a day or two or even a week or two .Those are the ones to hold onto, If my friend, holding on to a girl is what you want. Which you say that your not sure so finding congruence in what you want may let you work to find a resolution....I think to help personalize your game, try to come up with, openers and DHV's from your own life experiences ..If you know the formula and what each step of pickup does (read Mystery’s the Venusians arts hand book and David Deangelo’s “double your dating”, like Dex said broaden your view to see what is more comfortable.) Then you can base more of your game on your life. Yes it is still canned material and that sucks but its yours.I dont know if this helps at all or if I even targeted what you’re asking but its food for thought..

Rawker