I hooked up with this chick a while back and we had a few drinks and ended up at my house. I ended up sleeping with her and then dropped her off the next morning. I txt'd her a couple times the following week but I think I came off needy b/c when Friday came around she never replied to an offer to go get dinner.

That was last weekend and I havent even tried to txt her since then. Id like to rendezvous with her tonight for another drink and hopefully another night at my house. Any ideas of a good txt opener for this situation?

When you dropped her off the next day, did you call or text her? Cos you shoulda got a conversation going at that point and discussed meeting up again, from my experience some girls want to and some don't. It's pretty much up to her, if she doesn't wanna carry things on past a one night thing then that's the way it'll be.

Thing is, if you left it till the following weekend to actually suggest getting together again she automatically assumes you just wanna hook up and have sex again. Of course she's right, you won't deny that and there's nothing wrong with it if she wants the same thing - but you should have brought it up far sooner. That way she doesn't feel like you've suddenly decided to hook up again cos your weekend plans aren't turning out so great or whatever. Also, dinner on a friday night... nah. Just nah. If you're gonna have a meal, do it during the week. Friday night is party night, she wants to party.

Kinda depends on the situation.
How well you know her and what your prepared to say to her.

How bout something like...

I hope you feel like having a fun flirtatious night tonight! I have an excellent plan which involves, you, me and a whole lot of excitment... I'll be contacting you later on with details once I recieve confirmation your able to partake in this plan.

Something like that should get her interesed and get you a response.

What? People do not talk like this. You'd get a response if she was some kind of android I guess.

Trevino, personally I'd avoid contacting her this weekend if you did so last week and received no reply. She'll just see you as the random weekend texting dude (a few girls I know have more than one of those). Text her on sunday asking how her weekend was, get chatting a little and tell her you wanna take her out some day during the week. That's really your best bet.

I like that plan. Last week when we txt'd I tried to get her to go out but she claims she doesnt go out during the week b/c she stays home and does homework. I know that dinner wouldnt be out of the question but I think that you are right when you said that she sees me as just a weekend hookup guy. I would like to try to hang out with her a bit more if possible but dont want anything serious. How do you suggest I turn a Sunday txt into a weekday dinner invite without coming off as needy?

Of course . . . .

Trevino, you didn't come off as "needy" but in fact the exact opposite. You don't need her at ALL except for sex . . . maybe once every two weeks or so . . .

When I heard/read about all this "don't be needy, don't call her right away crap", I tried it out. Even after a number close, I'd wait a few days . . . after a good date . . . a few days. This is crap. Let me tell you, you don't demonstrate confidence, high value or whatever through neglect. Figure out how to do this pro-actively.

If a guy is so untalented with putting a few words together, then maybe it's better to avoid it all together but otherwise, there is nothing wrong with calling RIGHT away as long as you don't act like a needle-dick.

After you dropped her off, it's OK to call right away with something like, "Oh jeeze, that was amazing. I'll call you soon." Just don't sit there and send her 10 texts a day. . .

Oops . . . forgot to actually suggest something.

For a girl who expects just another coffee date, you make her feel like a sexual beast by giving her sexual messages.

For a girl who expects you to text her for only sexy times every other weekend, you text her with exactly what Solomon suggested, "Hey, what'd you do last weekend?"

And when you ask her out, you don't text her with an offer for a pizza and a movie at your place. She now knows that sex is always a possibility so there is no reason at all to make her feel "cornered" into a sexual situation. Your goal is to get her to OK a time for you and her to get together. Once you meet and have a great time, a sexy time is always a possibility.

First of all, homework is a shit test. No girl chooses homework over a date with a guy she's slept with... unless she doesn't wanna see him again, that is. I know assignments are important and everything, but come on. There's no way she's so busy she can't take a couple of hours out of one little day to see you.

Tease her about being a bookworm/nerd/whatever and tell her she's bound to wanna take a break some day throughout the week... and that you'd feel bad if she was stuck inside a stuffy little room all week when you could be taking her out for some fresh air. It's assertive, relaxed, and most of all, not pushy. If she keeps making excuses, tease her and tell her she's no fun etc, that it'll do her a world of good to get out. If she's still insistent that she can't, call her out on her bullshit but don't be nasty about it. For example, "You can't take a couple of hours out of one day this week to do something? You gotta be kidding me, my friend michelle (or whoever) pulls that one on guys all the time, and I'm not falling for it". Remember to be happy and upbeat, almost laughing as you say it. If she still babbles on and sticks with that story, tell her that's cool and if she actually does wanna get together some time she can text you and you'll see what you're doing.

Then, leave it. If you get to that point, it's pretty clear she doesn't wanna get together but you leave that with her anyway incase she changes her mind. Don't text her again, it'd be a waste of time... if she does text you, happy days - if not, I wouldn't sweat it.

Thanks for the suggestions guys. You all make very good points. I guess I kinda screwed up by falling for the 'dont come off as needy' bullshit. While I understand the need to be a man and not come off as a pushover with no life, I always wonder how to balance that with respect for a woman that you might be interested in.

I figured that the homework was a shit test and I tried to tease her a little bit but it was to no avail. As last weekend approached I tried again and still nothing and no response for a date on Friday. I guess at this point to jump in and ask her out again for this weekend would definitely come off as just a fling and also that I have nothing else going for me.

So, you think a txt on Sunday or a call asking about how her weekend went? I think a call would be more personal if I am really interested in seeing her again. At that point I could do as kasabi said and tell her that I would like to see her again but not come off as a needledick. I like to be sincere and tell her that I do want to see her instead of playing all the bullshit games. That is if she will even answer my call. If not, I guess I am talking to her voice mail and will have to leave a message similar in nature to that. If she doesnt respond to that, I guess its time to just cut it loose until I run into her again.

What do you guys think? Good plan?

Sounds great! You've really got your shit down about leaving a message if she doesn't pick up, I like to see that. Don't call or text her again after that though cos that just equates to chasing her.

Actually, this is what I suggest you to do directly after a date while you're driving away. She's thinking about the FUCK and having mixed thoughts about it and you just give her a spark of "assurance" that she's not a slut. Cool . . . then you've got to manage that shit so that you can F her on a day that's good for you. Try working several girls like this at once and you'll figure it out right away. You'll lose a few, you gain a few . . . but eventually, you'll figure out a better balance point.

In your case at this point, I think you're back to starting up all over again. Be specific and be fun. You don't want to "see her again" as this means you want to fuck her again. As written earlier, sex is no longer the "goal" because as long as you two are together, it's always a possibility. Figure out some fun ass events and stir her in that direction.

How about getting in touch Sunday and seeing if she wants to go hang out that afternoon? That way there is no 'homework' bullshit. And at the same time we can do something fun that is not just meeting up for drinks then having sex.

Yeah people don't talk like this..

Anyways I'd just forget about her if she didn't text you back at all, if shes interested she'll contact you.

Yeh fair call pretty shit txt. But hey I had just come home from a lot of drinks and was just trying to throw something out there. The situation wasn't really set out that clearly so wasn't to sure of his situation....

Okay, well I thought I would post and let you guys know what happened.

I called and no answer of course. I kept it short and sweet.

"Hey its _. Havent talked to you in awhile. I hope you had a good weekend. Give me a call when you get a chance."

So far no reply but I will keep you updated if I get a response. I think at this point its really out of my hands but I did everything I could to not come off as just wanting sex. If I dont get a response then oh well.