So I'm on facebook, and a girl called Sara ****** messages me. She says 'hey'. I think, who the hell is this girl. I checkout her facebook to see if she is hot. (Note, I would still talk to her if she was not hot, but I'm deciding whether I should sarge her.) She is hot. HB8. Don't remember ever meeting her, but I find out from the convo (as you will) that I met her at some party a month or so ago.
She was in a 3-set of HB's whom I opened and built a lot of attraction but I then got nicked by another HB so I never saw them again. I don't have a lot of time (the time constraint is real! But I will annototate so this is actually useful to people.) Anyway, here is the exact conversation!:
Sara
Hey
6:15pmRafie
Sara
with no 'h' on the end of her name.
Her approaching me when I have no idea who she is, is a massive IOI. This enables me to escalate, but first I do what's known in SS as a 'pattern interrupt'; I don't want to have a boring AFC conversation so I hit her with something unique and interesting that gets her off autopilot. It's also designed to get her qualifying instantly. My first impressions is that she is a confident girl with high self-esteem, to be able to approach cold and JUST say 'hey'.
6:16pmSara
oo its all about how u say it im not a sarah, just makes me different i guess
6:17pmRafie
I see I see...so apart from your name what else makes you different?
So it worked, she's qualifying, but I can squeeze more out of her. This is making her invest, and investment = attraction.
6:18pmSara
well hmmm im south african...i hve 3 horses...scar on my left leg the list is endless
ooo and i lived in america..
6:19pmRafie
That's wicked. I like a unique girl. So you nave different nationalities? I reckon that makes people more cultured.
Ok I have screened her, now I give her a small reward in the form of a compliment. This encourages her to qualify herself to me in the future. I then bait her to see if she will qualify more by saying she is cultured.
6:20pmSara
i do, well im a british citizen bt i would say my hearts in south africa, and lived in houston texas for 18months
btw i tink an apology is in order i dnt know wt i did at christmas ball i do remember seeing you but im afraid i had had too much to drink, so sorry for whatever i did or said...:-S
6:23pmRafie
Haha. Don't worry, I'm an easy-going guy, although there are some rather 'forward' girls at the college, shall we say. You did say one thing that was a little interesting though, not sure if you remember.
She reveals why she is talking to me. She roots herself. BUT, my 'this conversation is about to go nowhere' radar is flashing red. So I throw in a comment that demonstrates preselection, and that i have standards. It is also a very soft and indirect false disqualification, and should get her qualifying that she is not a forward girl.
6:24pmSara
ooo dear, im nt liking the sound of that...wt did i do?
6:24pmRafie
Har har, not telling you!
Cat-string theory.
6:24pmSara
oh no, now im intrigued, is it really bad? u tease
6:26pmRafie
well, it depends how you define good and bad. I can't stay for long, but if you got 5 mins we can play a game to find out what is good and bad
time constraint
6:27pmSara
ok, then... hw wld u define bad?
did i make a move on u? bt like in a bad way/forward way? ahh my minds going crazy lol
6:29pmRafie
hahaha, be patient crazy mind girl. I'll ask you two questions and you ask me two questions. You have to answer it truthfully, and you have to say whether you think your answer is good or bad. Those are the rules of the game. Oh, and the final rule is that I start first =)
I'm dismissing her previous comments and by calling her crazy mind girl, my value is subcommunicated as higher than hers. I am then leading the conversation. I've never used style's 5 questions routine, but I adapted it for this. Took me a whole 2 mins to think of as you can see. I said 2 questions rather than 5 to cut the bullshit.
6:30pmSara
ok bt wt does good or bad mean in wt context?lol
6:31pmRafie
Haha, it's just your opinion of your answer...so if you ask me how often i brush my teeth, and i say 5 times a day, I could say that's a good thing, but i may have no teeth left by the end o it!
let's start
first question
6:31pmSara
ok...strange way of explaining..all ears
or eyes
6:31pmRafie
eyes are good
How many boyfriends have you had?
Take note! She says 'all ears'. This is evidence that suggests she is an auditory person. You will notice later I phrase things using auditory words to build rapport. A couple of separate points. The conversation started that she wrote more than I did. She also wrote faster than I did. After she proved herself, I am matching her length of writing, which creates rapport. This is vital. Cheeky wink at the end to build sexual tension.
6:32pmSara
serious ones?
6:32pmRafie
Haha well what does serious mean
One of those interesting moments when you relinquish your power to ask a retarded question that may be useful to you.
6:33pmSara
well i have had a 2 yr relationship we broke up during Gcses so i wld count that as fairly serious i guess
6:33pmRafie
Yeah, anything more than 1 week
6:33pmSara
ok ermm jst hve a think..
lol
6:34pmRafie
Haha, bad girl
I use this phrase to calibrate
6:35pmSara
probably about 7 nt including 'seeing people'
nt too bad i guess, cld be alot worse..
6:36pmRafie
Haha, interesting. I'll tell you my opinion at the end of the game. Your turn.
6:36pmSara
great... doesnt sound good.
6:36pmRafie
catstring theory. I am building a sense that my opinion of her is very valuable. This creates emotional investment which = attraction.
6:36pmSara
wt r the questions supposed to be about?
6:37pmRafie
it's up to you...they should be the kinda questions that let skeletons out the closet, if you hear my drift
HAHA, classic line! I said 'if you HEAR my drift' because she is probably an auditory person.
6:37pmSara
okies...hmmm
im bad at this lets thing have you ever two timed a girl?
6:39pmRafie
Damn, you stole my next question! The answer is no, never in a serious relationship, although 'seeing people', yes,
. I think that's a good thing, because when you're 'seeing people', there is little commitment;), but to break a girl's heart is agony.
my turn!
Last question for me!
Ok..I'm gonna get you this time
I said she stole my question to show she is not bad at the game and that the game has value. I just answered honestly, then set up a challenge on the last line.
6:40pmSara
ok go for it
6:41pmRafie
If you are speaking to the perfect guy, who you really desire, would you sleep with him on the first day of meeting him?
Couldn't miss a bit of explicit NLP, could we?
6:42pmSara
no i wouldn’t
6:43pmSara
if he is perfect and i really desire him in the end i dnt tink he wld respect me as i wld hve given him wt he wntd straight away.. also im nt sure if he feels the same way could jst be lust...hmm duno
btw u in the gym tomoz?
6:44pmRafie
That's a very good point. But you know not every guy is in it for the sex. I will admit that I love sex with a girl, i make no excuses for it, but I would much prefer to get along with her.
Not tomorrow, have exams. But i'm in there quite often if you're about.
She's clever, I like clever girls. So I reward her. Then I be honest about sex, which builds rapport and opens the topic. She gives a massive IOI about gym. I think I will set up day 1 at the gym. I bait her but don't give away my power.
6:44pmSara
yer true, bt MOST are...
6:45pmRafie
yeah, haha
6:45pmSara
oh rite good luck,
ive seen u dancing as well...pretty good i have to say
and are u actually going to tell me what i did?
6:46pmRafie
cheers. Well you know you owe me one more question, but I'll be off now. It's been a pleasure talking, I'd thought you'd be like every other girl but I kinda like you
Drop me your digits and maybe we'll hangout sometime.
nope
Why thankyou, you lovely girl. I hope you're this lovely in bed! I then qualify her and get her number. At the end I say that I won't tell her what she did (she didn't do anything explicit hahahahaha), so she can be thinking about me until we next meet.
6:48pmSara
arrgh ur so annoying, lol im worried now, good good, im nt like everyone else, learnt some gd lessons wich hve made me different me tinks... digits hmmm go on then 07776******
btw my mum knows u coz she taught u at comberton
6:49pmRafie
Awesome, I’ll hit you up sometime. Take care Sara
She learnt lessons in how to be different? Wtf? She frames the #close with some ASD: 'go on then', but the game was solid. Her mum knows me? wtf? 3-some incest on the cards!! I leave with no kisses OBVIOUSLY, and log out before she can answer to keep her hanging off that cliff.
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I thought I'd post this because it's my first proper online game (I detest the online & texting/SMS scene). Hope it has helped people.
CHAT
