I haven't seen a list around here that gives any conversation topics. Recently I bought a book to improve my conversational skills that has some stuff. The book's called "The Fine Art of Small Talk".

Some of what it lists sounds pretty retarded, so I've omitted a few topics (i.e., How has the Internet changed your life?), but here's the good ones I've found:

• What do you think of the movie/resturaunt/party?
• Tell me about the best vacation you've ever taken.
• What was it like in the town where you grew up?
• Of all the places you've lived, which did you like best? Why?
• What would you like to come back as in another life? Why?
• Why were you named _____? What is the origin of your last name?
• What's the best surprise you've ever gotten?
• What's the neatest surprise you've ever pulled off for someone?
• Tell me about some of your New Year's resolutions.
• What are your favorite things to do when you're by yourself?
• Tell me something most people would never guess about you.
• What would you do if you won a million dollars?
• What's the most spontaneous thing you have ever done? -LH

Feel free to add your own!

thats good for starter... what else is in that book of your

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Cool, that gives me an idea, i'll use those as backup topics when in an emergency.

- What's the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

Thanks.

So far, it's basically explaining that shyness can easily be misunderstood as arrogence (or creepiness), and giving other reasons why you should be the conversation starter.

It talks about how important it is to remember people's names, and if you forget someone's name mid-conversation, to politely appologize and ask them for it again.

Body language and eye contact are touched on briefly, but I've got a whole book on body language that I haven't gotten into yet.

I'm at the part where the book is discussing feedback, and how being a good listener doesn't involve being silent. Things like, "Really?", "How did you manage ______?", and "Tell me more! What was that like for you?" are verbal cues that let the other party know you're paying attention.



The book is mostly geared toward business relationships, but a lot of that applies to social settings, and it does cover some social-specific topics.

Cool, that gives me an idea, i'll use those as backup topics when in an emergency.

Be warned though, as great as all these random questions can be they get repetative really quick. One of my biggest sticking points is that I have a tendancy to ask too many questions and sometimes it can get to the point where the girl feels like your conducting an interview and it can bore her and also make her want to close up. Use a few questions but also try and use statements to open the questions in order to disarm her from closing up. Like for example "oh that reminds me of this time my friends through a suprise party for me. Id never been so suprised in my life! whats the biggest suprise youve ever got? well aside from last week when you found out santa clause wasnt real " <---- even drop a neg in there as well. that way your sandwedging it all in. statement - question - neg. Sales people often use this technique because we generally pay the most attention to the first and last thing a person says in a sentance. Its like saying "this suit is 100% wool, only $900 and the fit just molds to your body"

Or also use FTC.

Ask a Q and then use either verbal or body language FTC's to keep her interested. I agree you never want to look like your doing an interview. That way if at some point you either drop in 'I've only got a couple mins before I have to rejoin my friends, but... interesting Q.'
Or you ask the question sorta looking over your shoulder and then as she is 3/4 of the way through her answer, pull back a bit like you have to take off.

It wasn't really meant as a list of things you're going to talk to a girl about. Just something in case you hit that conversational lull and need something quick.



Anyway, I was doing some reading, and found a really cool idea. Take a random word, anything, and develop a DHV story about it. (I found that throwing a dictionary against the wall and throwing a dart at the page that opens is a good strategy.)

Mine was 'cake'.



I got home yesterday and there was this giant box sitting outside my door. It was really wide and long, but not very high. Naturally, when you're not expecting a delivery, the weirdest thing to expect is a huge white box sitting outside your door.

So what do I do? I go up and kick it. I didn't know the top was going to be so flimsy, and it caved in a little. I didn't even kick it that hard, just a little tap! I open it up and of course the side of the cake looked like someone stepped on it.

I debated a little bit about just taking it inside and hoping nobody would notice, but then I'd feel bad. I called the cake place on the label, and ask who it was supposed to go to (thinking it was one of my neighbors in my apartment block), and they said they didn't have a name, just my address. It wasn't anywhere close to being my birthday or anything, and besides, anyone who'd buy me a cake knows I like chocolate and this cake wasn't. I knock on all my neighbors doors and ask if they had ordered a cake - none had. I went to the other apartment block in my building and nobody had ordered one there either. So I go down to the office and leave it with them, saying it must've been a mistake, and hopefully the rightful owner will claim it. I even called back the bakery and told them that I didn't order one, so if someone where to call back, wondering where their cake was, that it was in the office.

I go back inside, and a while later I go to do laundry. One of the machines ate my quarters, so I went into the office and guess what I saw? EVERYONE WAS EATING THE CAKE!

I was yelling at them, like "WTF!? You guys are eating someone's cake!"

The manager (who wasn't there when I dropped it off) replied, "Yeah it was ours! I ordered it for the staff. Want some?"

I was a little stunned, but I had to apologize, "I'm sorry! I stepped on your cake by accident! It was sitting outside of my door when I got home."

hahaha

I like your material but my advice would be eliminate or revamp all the convo starters that end in question marks. Don't make the girl feel like she's being interrogated! If you do ask a question make sure it's one founded in your recent topic or make it very unique, best if it's one that no one has ever asked her.

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Good stuff. I personally like the "What's the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?" Because when your talking to her, you can like whisper it in her ear along with other things, and then Kiss her. Do you have anything else worth mentioning in your book?[/quote]

There was a whole slew of stuff, like 'Don't appologize for interrupting' because you aren't really sorry. Instead, you could say, "Please excuse the interruption," to the person your target is talking to.

It had big lists of stuff like, 'Instead of [common fallacy], say [better way to say the same thing]'.

It also touched on body language, but I bought another book for that.

There's quite a bit of fluff in the book, but I'd highly recommend it for people who have more than moderate issues talking to people. It was largely a review for me, but there was some stuff in there that was new to me.

The name of the book is "The Fine Art of Small Talk". I don't have it with me, so I couldn't tell you the author.

A few people have rightly commented on how it's better to make statements than ask questions, the following are examples of how you could lead people into the above threads rather than asking questions.

I went to see [whatever] last week, best movie i've ever seen... = What do you think of the movie/resturaunt/party?

I just got back from [wherever] with my buddies, it was so awesome... = Tell me about the best vacation you've ever taken.

I moved into a new place in [blah] just recently, its so awesome, so much better than [blah blah] = Of all the places you've lived, which did you like best? Why?

You know I'd love to come back as a [whatever], they are so [whatever] = What would you like to come back as in another life? Why?


I can tell why you were called [name], you have that [name] look in your eye = Why were you named _____? What is the origin of your last name?

You know I said I'd give up [blah or whatever] for new years, [have/haven't] managed to stick to it so far blah. = Tell me about some of your New Year's resolutions.

I bet people don't know you're such a brat, its weird how you can never really know people etc = Tell me something most people would never guess about you.


You get the picture, I think you'll agree it comes off much more naturally and is a far better way of leading somebody into conversational threads and building rapport.

Of course. They're just topics. You don't have to state them verbatum... I don't.