Yo J.
I have this friend who lives close, but not enough to see her on a daily basis, and usually I communicate with her on Windows Live Messenger.
She is easily a 9.5, and her personality is freaking awesome, she is so sweet!
My problem is: I want to make her want to meet me more via the MSN. I have her phone number and everything but I don't feel comfortable just calling and asking her out after we spoke that much on the MSN.
I know her personally off course, we are togeather in a youth movement and I always meet her in trips and we joke around alot, and she likes to get physical [massages and stuff].

But still, I got used to speaking her like that, so what stuff do I say, what attitude do I keep to make her say "Hey want to come over?" or "Hey want to go watch Yes Man?

Thx man

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I feel like a jerk when I comment to ppl with advices when I am 16 and only got in to seduction art, but hey.. I write what seems reasonable from my exp. Don't be mad. =]

Again, like I said after a month or so of writing a profile most people forget what's in them. Glad the advice helps.

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

You want to keep the same attitude as you have been using with her. If I tell you to change your attitude and behaviour she's going to be wondering what's going on. Leave that in place for right now.

It sounds like as much as you speak and with the kino she gives you when you guys are on trips she is interested. I can understand that you are more comfortable talking via Live Messenger than on the phone and that's fine. We can easily ask her out via Messenger.

There really isn't a good way to bait a girl into asking you out. IF you want to go out with her you are going to have to ask her! You can do this on messenger without a problem and it'll be just as effective as on the phone since you guys talk on Messenger so much.

You've talked enough to have touching going on, and her phone number she's going to be comfortable with you enough to ask her out. You might say, "I am going to see the new Jim Carey movie Yes Man, he's like one of my favorite actors. You want to come tag along?"

This way if she says no you are going anyways and you don't loose any "face" so to speak. Because you aren't changing your plans for her she just has the opportunity to join you.

GOOD LUCK

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey J
I don't know if you have ever heard of Tucker Max but he is an author that writes stories of getting drunk and all sorts of other things sometimes involving women. I wrote a few stories like this and posted them on myspace. How would this help/hurt my value and my profile in general.
Thanks CG

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"The safest place for a ship is the harbor, but that isn't what a ship was built for"

I'm not sure without reading the stories for myself. I mean based on what you tell me it could be taken as you are a guy who goes out drinks, and just has sex with girls. You don't want the 'player' vibe coming off your profile so be careful with this.

If the stories are tasteful and humorous then that's different. I would almost have a female 'friend' read them for her opinion. That's our best source at this point.

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey Jon, and sorry in advance for the long post but I'm in a situation where I need all the help I can get

I've been around this forum quite some time now, and trying to use what I learned, both online and some real life, but with very little success. I'm from Croatia and there's this dating site here where I made an account on. My goal is to find a quality person I'd like to start a relationship with.

I tried to set up a cocky funny profile but it isn't working very well. Out of 40 women, only 40% replies, 5 to 6 MSNs and 1 date which ended as LJBF.
Around 90% of girls state in their profile that they want a "normal, funny and sincere" guy. There are 2 things which I probably did wrong and failed to spark attraction: 1. Didn't put a picture, 2. Went with too cocky funny and several replies were: Wtf, why didn't you study philosophy or something :S.

The site has a REALLY extensive profile: around 20 characteristics where you pick your "attributes" and 20 more questions where you have to answer with your own words, saying about your interests, desires etc...

My questions are:

1) The pictures

I'm thinking of choosing pictures which would flip all the attraction switches, but got troubles with some :

Alphamale and many friends - I actually am the leader of my "peer group" (4 other people in it) and I got 2 peer groups I'm a part of. What kind of a shot should I take with them (something besides drinking in a bar) that would demonstrate I am leading ?

Protector of loved ones, taking care of children- I've read in Stylelife that it's bad to show pictures with children, your cousins that is. What's your opinion on it ?

I lift weights and I look (body wise) above average, but not that good to put my shirt off (which is a bad idea anyway according to Style) and not that good that my veins are sticking out.

Would it be good to put a picture of me squatting or deadlifting or lifting something ?

Also, is it ok using Photoshop to make "artistic" pictures, something like:

When you see weightlifters celebrating a successful lift or a basketball player with fire around him, dunking the ball, something that's clearly Photoshoped but looks cool.

(I do play basketball)


I look very unphotogenic on most of the pictures I take, if not all. I'll show it later when I take new ones. How do you deal with something like that and is it really important or is it just the situations that matter ?

2) Profile questions (I'll only list the ones I find "tricky)

1. - At the very start you have to choose a description of your overall looks :

Below average, average, above average, reaaaally goooood

Or you can just ignore this question and say nothing. What would you put ?

Most guys and girls put above avg. or really good but they really aren't.
I'm around average face and height wise (5-8) but athletically built.

Question section:

1. Describe the person you want to meet. Which qualities do you find most important...

At first I put a quote from Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray:

"I knew that I had come face to face with someone whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself."

Should I go with another quote or just decribe the person in my own words ?

3. Describe yourself (physical and emotional)

What to put emphasis on here ? Should I try to quote what my friends say about me or put some lyric from a song ?

4. What things give you confidence? What would you change on yourself ?

Same thing. Should I show any weaknesses or just go with cocky all the way ?

11. If you could go out with "anyone" who would it be ?

Now, should I describe a normal person (so that my "potential" girl finds herself in the description) or put something funny yet impossible ?

12. What would be the perfect scenario for a first date ?

Describe something romantic, real or make a joke ? I'm afraid that being romantic would show neediness and sound too much pathetic.

20. Is there something else you want to say ?

This is the most tricky one.

I mean, when we put all of them together...

What else can I say in the last question that would make me seem like a normal guy, with standards, intelligent and that a girl thinks if she's the same she has a chance of getting me ?

What I'm mostly afraid of is going too far with this cocky funny, philosophical that girls get bored of reading and think I'm some sort of a freak.

3) Messaging

Should you make a DHV story in the first message ?

How long should the first message be and should you show a very direct or just subtle interest ?

Is it enough just to ask a question about one thing she said about herself and leave it there ?

I tried sending a bit longer messages with 2 to 3 questions and it didn't go very well


Also, I read how you said that you shouldn't mention height. Same goes for age ? If a woman is so obsessed with age you can't say anything to make her attracted anyway ? I mean, you can't put anything in your profile or message describing how you or your friends have had relationships with women older then you ?

Not a problem, I'm always here to provide assistance.
At least you know why the things didn't work out, and why you are having difficulties. Without pictures on your profile you definitely limit yourself.
This isn't a bad idea, but you don't have to flip all the attraction switches with your photos. Just focus on the main switches of pre-selection, and leader of men. You can always weave the other attraction switches in the profile somewhere.
Any kind of picture of you with the guys hanging out is good. If it is in a bar then so be it, but it would be better if it didn't. Just do the best you can with what pictures you have now. So a picture of you and your buddies in a bar is better than no picture. You can always take more later.
Pictures of you with children aren't necessarily bad IF you can add a caption to the picture. The picture by itself would be a little creepy, but if you can label it "Me with my sister/cousin" then it would be good.
I agree taking your shirt off in a profile is not a good idea. Please don't use a picture of you working out. It's going to look like you are showing off and come across as too try hard. If you have a picture of you playing a sport then that would be okay.
That would be cool, go for it.
It's mostly the situations but if you aren't very photogenic then you might try experimenting with different angles. I actually hired a photographer at one point but that was a little extreme. I'm not very photogenic either.

Try different angle for the picture. Your left, right, straight on, looking up at you, etc. You might find an angle that works best for you.


Above average or really good use your own discretion. Personally I'd mark Above Average.
I'd put it in my own words but I do like the quote. I would be specific to what you are wanting in a girl and what type of relationship you woud like to have.
Go with what your friends say about you, and just be as honest as you can. You can quote a few song lyrics if it helps describe you. I would only use this once or twice.
It's okay to demonstrate some vulnerability. That makes us human after all, and builds comfort. It's okay to me a little cocky here but we don't want to cross the line to arrogance.
I would certainly use humor here to demonstrate that aspect of your personality. Make sure to include the qualities that you want in a girl. Be sure to describe the emotions around it when you can to further appeal to women.
Just be real with what you'd like to be but also be creative. Don't say what the 90% of guys are going to say here like Dinner, Coffee, walk on the beach, or whatever. Use something fun. For me I'd talk about doing laser tag, go-karts, or something else FUN to do!
Anything you want. I'm sorry I don't know you well enough to write it for you. I would make sure and describe the things in life that are important to you. This would be a good chance to go back and add extra DHV spikes.

You can talk about doing something for your family because you guys are tight like that and any girl your with would have to understand that. Which you know she will but it gets the DHV spike in there. Mention a past girlfriend, or any other attraction switch you want to flip again.
I said that you don't have to mention height not that you shouldn't. If it's not in your interest to mention it because you are taller then you can leave it off your profile.

Same thing with age. Use it if you can and if not then don't.

That is correct, if a woman is really hung up on age, it's not that youc an't convince her to be with you. There are ways to attract her still. However, it's easier to move on to another person than put a lot of effort into something that doesn't have a good likelyhood of succeeding.

I would leave out any details about previous relationships.

I hope the information helps. I don't mind answering a few questions about things but this is to the point of consultation.

GOOD LUCK,

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thank you very much Jon

I know it was a lengthy post, but I just had this feeling I was doing things very wrong and needed some clarification with it, because to be honest, I've never actually seen how a good profile on that site looks and every question is a potential wreck or possible DHV.

I'm gonna take the next few days to prepare some pictures and rearrange the profile.

And I promise, I won't make such long posts again

JS smooth, got anything for me on this one?

I am in the process of re-framing a yongster HB9. heres the thread, and I need the next line.

- - - - -
me: that girl in your picture is really cute, do you think you could introduce me to her?
- - - -
hb9: The girl in the picture appreciates your compliment but thinks she is a bit too young for you. =)
- - - - -
me: yes she seems to young for most things. In your opinion, apart from days alive, what else separates us?
- - - - -
hb9: What else separates us? Well, the fact that you think I am to young for most things (direct quote, whatever it means...) and also the fact that I every now and then act as an idiot/lunatic, and that is apparently a big no no in your world. =)

If these arguments aren't enough for you I can also mention that I can be extremely boring, especially when something out of my power has prevented me from getting my coffee in time. The result of this is me staring into the floor and the only phrases I am able to use is "hmm", "ok" and "what?" and how fun is that?
- - - - -
whats my next line guys im blank.

Not a problem! There aren't very many good examples of profiles out there at all. Most of them are too short, too cliche', missing elements, etc.

Glad I could help. Let us know the results.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Please call me Jon or "J."
It wasn't such a good idea to ask her to point out the differences between you, when the age topic is already a big one. You should be looking for similarities to build attraction, comfort, and rapport. We need to start putting things together that you're similar on and build attraction.

Did you notice all the smiley faces she wrote with indicating a playful tone and not a serious tone?

I'd say something like.

"Everyone is an idiot/lunatic every now and then. Especially, when we don't get our daily dose of caffeine. That reminds me of the time...."(insert short DHV story of choice to build attraction)

At the end of the story ask her a question that further builds rapport. Such as: "Has anything like that ever happened to you?

Have fun man!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

hey, I have a tought one...

I get a girl on chat or face, whatever and we talk a lot, she sneds me kisses and tells me I'm great lallaa but she won't give me her number (she doesn't have msn), but she gave me mail and sends me mail every day... we met on chat few other times, everything is going great... but no number... she's telling me I'll give it to you but not now and that stuff... How should I react now? more DHV or comfort or should I go even deeper? I'm affraid that I dn't creep her out and become needy...
tried to follow up but she was unsure and no deal... he's a 10, I wouldn't bother you with anything less
looking forward to ur response, thx...

We have to appear to be in demand with people and act non-needy. So take your time replying to her messages that she sends you. Sometimes take an extra day and don't respond. Then when you do tell her you were busy with something.

Also, I do agree we need some more comfort. Since you have already asked for her phone number at least once we'll need to wait before we do it again. This is what can make online game seem to last so long. We go back and get more comfort and eventually try again for the number. While you are building comfort keep flipping those DHV spikes in her when you can. We don't want to end up in the 'lets just be friends' zone.

Some girls have 'policies' about giving guys their # regardless of them looking for people online and other stupid reasons. If you fail to get it after spending a good amount of time in comfort with some attraction still blended in, then move on. Don't waste anymore time.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

thx man for the response and advice... )
but how much is good amont of time? hehe we were chatting for maybe a week now... she always writes mi first...
here is one example... she sent me this today...

hey, hey my beauty... ) just letting you know that I'm thinking on you ) contact me... big kiss ;- )

that was translation from croatian hehe... I'm 22 he's 20 years old hehe

You will want to wait a day or so to respond back to her. Anyways, you will need to do about a week of comfort/attraction building before you ask her again.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...