Ballsy question to my ex tonight...



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:32 am 
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So, my ex and I broke up a few months ago and have only recently decided to take a break and not talk for awhile. He e-mailed me out of the blue the other night and asked me to do a huge favor for him. I agreed (I had to help him write an appeal to his school, in regards to one of his classes) and we completed the whole appeal and he was SO thankful. When we were chatting the night we finished the appeal, and he was getting offline, he msged me this:

"you are the most awesome, sexy, intelligent, beautiful, marvelous, spectacular, gorgeously generous princess in the world
thank you
talk to you later"

I asked my best friend (who's experienced in the PUA stuff, as I am not) how I should respond, and he said I should respond with something to accuse him of complimenting me for an alternative motive. We debated back and forth and I finally ended up sending him this in response:

"You don't have to compliment me so much, just ask me out to dinner already!"

I'm FREAKING out because this is my first time putting any one of these PUA moves into action. Do you think I was too forward? I was just really surprised about his compliments, cause he's normally not like that either. What should I do?! :(


Last edited by sillyandfuncaligirl on Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:58 am 
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naw that aqtully sounds pretty good


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:18 am 
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Telling to to have sex with you would be to forward.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:04 am 
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I think what you said was just fine. You don't always have to have a "smooth" line to come back with, just be straight forward. You were simple and to the point. Perfect.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:05 pm 
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I smell something funny here . . .

Unless the guy is a total dork who failed Creative writing 101, his compliments seem to me as either insincere or compensatory for giving nothing in return for contributing so much of your energy into his crap. I don't know . . . you'll have to judge his behavior for yourself. You know him better than any of us.

Still . . . I just don't get it; even afc's would try to take advantage of this opportunity and go, "Oh my God, thanks so much . . . I'm totally buying you dinner . . ." But this guy just types up a bunch of corny, redundant crap(to his ex) and then logs off?

If you wanted to initiate coming back together again, you shouldn't have been so easy with your time contribution in the first place. And I'm going against the census here. "Just ask me out to dinner already!" Makes a guy feel like a bit of a chump(Ooh . . . she knows I'm so nervous . . . ) and makes you look desperate and demanding. (I want to be with you now! So buy me dinner now!)

And I actually disagree with your "pua" buddy as well. (What's he trying to do? F up your chances with your ex and get you for himself?) If your ex really is this . . . eh. . . for the lack of a better word "drama queen", what do you think accusing him of anything will accomplish? And if he's not into you any more, he'll just go, "OK, whatever . . . "

Anyhow . . . all of this is merely my opinion that's all . . . If you were my friend irl, I would have suggested a more confident/playful/tease frame. Something like:

"Thanks, I'll take "awesome, sexy, intelligent, and princess". How about if I return "marvelous and spectacular" in exchange for a dinner for two?"


or something like:

"What? You get an appeal and I get 100 adjective over the Internet? Alright, alright . . . I'll settle for a two scoop ice cream cone + just 2 adjectives in person. PS You gotta include "sexy" . . . I like hearing you say that."


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 5:50 pm 
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Thanks for everyone's responses thus far.

As a response to kasabi:

I'd have to kinda agree with what you first said about his compliments being a bit insincere. I first msged him back (45 minutes after he sent it) saying, "Wow...that's a bit excessive, isn't it?" and he replied immediately, "No, it's spot on actually."

I never implied or said anything in my original post about how I was easy with my time contribution. I wasn't with him or his appeal. I know a little bit about supply and demand, haha.

My friend didn't suggest me saying what I did to my ex, he just suggested saying something in general. Those were my words.

Ummm, I really don't get your comment about my ex being a "drama queen". He's far from one...care to explain??

Finally, I like your last two suggestions. It's too bad they don't sound like me at all, so I wouldn't be comfortable saying them as they aren't me.

Does anyone else have any opinions on this, especially now that I've shed more light on the situation and there have been two opposing views given.

Like always, thanks so much. :)


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:06 am 
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Okay....so he's taking me out to dinner soon. I still really like him, so what's the next step? Any things I should do or shouldn't do??


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:21 am 
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Quote:
Okay....so he's taking me out to dinner soon. I still really like him, so what's the next step? Any things I should do or shouldn't do??
lol... Honestly I tried to think of some advice for you but I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't make you come off slutty (I was going to say up the kino lol).

I think the best thing to do is to just be fun, flirty, keep the conversation going and have a good time.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:24 am 
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At first, I thought your ex was a being insincere but he's probably just really into you and doesn't know how to express himself any other way.

Not sure what you're really asking here. He's obviously into you and you're into him. If you're looking to make this relationship last, think about why the two of you took a "break" the first time and think of what you plan to do differently this time.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:46 pm 
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ok as a guy going on a date with my ex-girlfriend i would want her to be fun and talking and not just sit there awkward cus that usually kills it ive had that happen before. have a good sense of humor, guys love it when girls joke back cus not to many girls ive met joke back. and lastly dont seem to needy..... come on now ur a girl this shit should come natural to you this whole forum is made for us to impress you haha

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