I read another thread on this forum where "Roads" mentions in the first post that when he was feeling anxious socially he would get nervous to the point that he had physical symptoms like muscle twitching or other anxiety symptoms.

My question is how do people still manage to smile when they are in this situation? I am usually so anxious when in public that I do not feel like smiling. It only seems to happen when my mind is blank and the situation catches me unaware. And that rarely happens. Usually I am anxious.

Today as a practice I tried to make a bit of banter with a guy working in a coffee shop. Some customers had just complained and told him they were unhappy and he looked a bit under pressure. When he served me a few minutes later I told him I was happy all the time. He seen my point straight away and began to smile while he was looking down at the till, but I was so anxious I couldn't smile. When he looked up he was unsure whether to smile or not. That's the kind of thing that happens to me. I just have such a blank expression through nerves that people mirror it back to me.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? The only tactic I can think of is to imagine absurd things about the person I am talking to, but this seems like a dirty trick, and sometimes it has almost made me laugh rather than smile; and then it doesn't always work anyway. Sometimes I am even too anxious to make that work.

I once read that if you do not feel like smiling just don't smile because an attempted false smile will look worse.

I can go on about this because it has happened to me so often over the years, even with hot women. It's a real killer from the start as it is a first impression that seems to make a bad impression.

Alright..force yourself to smile even if it makes you look retarded, you'll find from that you'll just naturally loosen up. You should most of the time have something between a smile going into ALMOST a smirk.

As of being nervous: BREATHE, like force yourself mentally to take a breath. Naturally I find myself and others stop breathing even if we don't mean too. Watch that.

Yeah, I hold my breath as well. I'll keep it in mind. Difficult to force a smile because I then worry how I look, but I'll give it a go and see what happens.

DON'T force it.

DO it. Big difference. All you have to do is tell yourself, "breathe. now, remember to smile."

Smiling is a pretty natural state. Think of "Elf."

"Why are you smiling?"

"I like smiling! Smilings my favorite!"

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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

Yep, and it means I'm likely to give her pleasure if I'm talking to a woman apparently Another good video, Sean. It reminds me of David Wygant's advice to stop the negative thoughts. He said to imagine telling the woman off for playing with herself over you. I have to keep these thoughts in my mind when I'm out. "One steamboat, two steamboats". Great stuff!

i do the same when i am anxious i tend to smile alot ... its not really a smile .. more like a less then a one second smile and then turning face back to normal ...how do you stop that .

i noticed this first hand that people treat you different no matter where you are .. they approach, talk and do everything differently if you have a smile on your face ... like once this customer came up to me pissed out of her mind ... all it took from me was a smile to change her entire attitude .. now she only comes to me

i tend to get anxious if a group of angry/ people come to me .. i get too conciousness and then have oen of those fake smiles.. which worsen the sittuation. how do you handle this

OK, that was one of the things I was going to mention in the original post, but didn't. I think it is the same problem. You are so anxious that the anxiety wipes the smile off your face. Being anxious and smiling just don't go together. We have to work against the anxiety. Yet again I went out today and only realised I was holding my breath after ordering coffee and sitting down.

I will be trying different mental images, confidence boosting thoughts and you will have to do the same. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer. I think it will be gradual as well. The more you build confidence and actually get interested in talking to people the better it will be.

dude, i swear to all that is holy, if you JUST remember to breathe, everything else will be fixed.

just that one thing. pay attention ONLY to that, and everything else will follow. make it a habit. anytime you see a hot girl, say to yourself "breathe. breathe. breathe."

give it two weeks, and problems are gone.

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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

*Nods, I'm finding out as I do my own learning's BREATHING just keeps getting more and MORE important as you progress. Its surprising how much you don't pay attention to your breath, it could be a simple thing like writing.

I had the exact same problem, but now I actually listen to the other person when he or she is speaking by FOCUSING OUTWARD. Get out of your head and outside of it.

Also, if you catch yourself smiling bc you are seeking approval, and not for your own personal enjoyment, catch yourself, pinch your arm, do something to BREAK THE PATTERN. This works wonders. -cshadyp