FR: Tragic night



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 Post subject: FR: Tragic night
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:02 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:15 pm
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Location: Calgary
Sup?
I don't know what it is about this one club, but every night I go there I have TERRIBLE luck. Not that I'm all that lucky to begin with, but this is just a kick straight to the gonads. My first night at this location, if you are so inclined, is also posted on this site, you can find it if you want.

I get there 1 hour early of course, and all my friends are at another bar that I couldn't find. Awesome. I sit around and there are tons of women, but it's ladies night and they're on the other side of the bar watching strippers. Awesome. So I try to look like I'm havin a good time. Thats one thing I might have improved on is smiling more. But maybe now it just looks creepy? I dunno. There's about 4 other guys on this side of the bar and they don't exactly look like they wanna be approached by a guy in a purple dress shirt on ladies night. So I enjoy my ice water and wait till the others get here. Awesome.

Hour later everyones here and I already know it's gonna be bad. Usually we meet up at another bar earlier, I talk around and eventually find a wing for the night. Usually someone 1) on their first night, makes me feel better and more confident or 2) Someone a little more experienced then me but not by much, makes me feel comfortable. It's never anyone super experienced and uber awesome, I just feel intimidated and awkward. And it shows.

This location is small and loud. Not really what I enjoy. I like big, open and loud, but not "Holy shit" loud. I usually stick out a little being 6'7" so people notice me circling, so I like somewhere big so I don't get noticed too often.

I'll just post the memorable sets.
After my first set, which wasn't great, I open a little chick in the corner with no smile or friends. Good idea ChuMp, way to be. She'll be HBCurse.

Me: Hey
HBC: *nothing*
Me: You look lonely and kinda down. Thought I'd come by and cheer you up.
HBC: *looks at something*
Me: *I look* What?
HBC: *nothing*
Me: So, who are you waiting for?
HBC: Nobody
Me: Oh, right. Well *hand on shoulder* I'm gonna take a hint.

I booked it right the fuck outta there. Gah, that was one angry little woman. Oh well, the night got better from then, cause it definitely couldn't get worse then that.

A set I saw all night but lacked balls to approach. That a 1/3 girls was... undesirable? We'll just put it at that, for her sake. They'll be HBLeft, HB Center, HBRight

Me: Hey guys *EC with HBR, but not rest of group*
HBR: Hi *unenthusiastic*
Me: K, can I ask you a question?
HBR: Uh-huh *A "Oh god" response*
Me: Do I look like a drug dealer? *I still haven't made EC with the rest, and I desperately look at the other 2*
HBR: Hahah, no. *genuine laugh, awesome*
Me: Oh good, I had some guy outside ask what I was dealing *turn to rest of group in order to open them too.* So guys, do I look like a drug dealer? *gesturing to my outfit*
HBL-Ce: *weird looks*
Me: *back to HBR* So, what are you guys celebrating tonight?
HRB: Absolutely nothing.
Me: Nice! High fives all around *high fives all around accompanied with weird looks* I figure if you can celebrate nothing, it's worth celebrating *taking a seat and noticing weird looks between HBL and HBCe, and yes, I know my statement makes no sense*

I continue to slap together sentences that make no sense at all, hoping and praying it sounds okay. I eject quickly enough once I stop getting any real feedback.

I don't know what it is, but I guess I give off this weird creepy insecure vibe. Oh wait, maybe it's because I'm weird creepy and insecure? Yah, that must be it. I had a horrible thought pass through my head on the way home tonight. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this stuff?". Then I remembered all my good nights. I was improving every night. I just took too long of a break between nights out.

Tell me anyone if in your first two months you had those doubts. Also, any comments on my sets would be superb.

_________________
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. "
-David Grayson


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:14 am 
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Dude just chill, no one is successful on thier first time. It's ok to be insecure. Nobody gets over it overnight. Just practicing opening sets and if you get rejected or get bad vibes just keep doing it to desensitize yourself to rejection and eventually you'll be able to go in and do it without getting nervous.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:02 am 
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toss im a time constraint buddy, thats why they were kinda weirded out. also work on your material a bit.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:10 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:48 am
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Location: San Francisco, CA
You're in the calibration stage. It's too early to get hung up on results, in fact you should never be hung up on results at all.

The last thing you should be worried about is what HBs think of you. Who gives a shit what they think? Do scientists care what the mice think of the maze they've built?

You gotta think of this stuff as a science experiment.

HBs are simply rats in a maze that you have built. You are in control, and even when they're giving weird looks like you describe (or maybe you imagine them) it's just them reacting as you might expect them to since this is so early in your game.

Do some homework, have good routines ready - it sounds like you've been working on them. The drug dealer thing sounds like something that should be handled with care though, maybe save it for when your game is better.

You did get off to a bad start on that night by not meeting up with your friends though, you have to plan that sort of thing better. That's easy to fix, it's just simple logistics. Once you fix that you'll find the rest a whole lot easier, there's nothing as soul destroying as sitting somewhere by yourself with nobody to talk to and feeling self conscious.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:30 pm 
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i'm assuming you want some critique of your post? I can offer some insights... but just remember dont takeg it so f'ing hard! Cant emphasize that enough..

First, even before you started opening sets you mentioned "this was going to be a bad night" afterall. Bad attitude! Women see through that, and when you start off with a bad attitude and try to reverse it later, it looks like he's "tryin hard to impress me" vibe, which might be what you got. Next time you feel like you want to get out of there before the night even begins, start to think about the good stuff that will happen. You are meeting up with friends later, maybe you'll get a fat stripper to give one a lapdance! I tend to make it funny for myself, because I laugh out loud at my own thoughts! And whatever can put a smile on your face is worth it. Don't act like you're "having a good time", but make a good time out of a bad situation. Girls love that! That's why they need us, cause they (for the most part lol) can't do it for themselves.

Next, you mention you were waiting on your friends to give you some confidence. I'm not sure if you're starting out on PU, but you should learn to just have confidence 24/7, no matter what you are doing. This stuff takes time, and will put you out of your comfort zone, but once it becomes natural, you become natural! You're 6'7"! I have a friend who's like 5'4" and is practically fearless in front of girls and men. It should be no problem for you. In fact you can use the height for great openers, like "how's the weather down there" or other stuff that's cheesy. I like cheesy witty lines cause that's who i am, you should use stuff that you come up with too.

You opened a girl that was doing something on the phone. I tend to not approach girls who look busy for that reason... they will just brush you off or be polite. If I'm on the move, I make small chatter as i walk around like "hey *insert lame comment here*" and see what reactions i get. If i'm stationary, like you were, I scan the room confidentally and see where I get eye-contact from. If i do cold-approach, i try not to pick on the ones who dont want to be bothered. But sometimes I will for fun! It looks like you had some fun with the one you chatted up, if i had that encounter, I would be laughing it off right after I left. I might even add something like "i see you're too busy saving the world, good luck with that I know we're all counting on you!" or something, although that can be kinda mean too, but it's funny to me!

Those are a few things I'd think about. I'd also try to talk to more women on your own, without your friends around, to practice being socially confident. Other then that, you are on the right track. Let us know how it goes!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:17 am 
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I really wish men would learn this lesson:

Women can SMELL weakness.

We can SMELL canned.

Lion and Gazelle.

If you walk up to us, and you have any nervous reservations, we will be able to smell it out. At that point we will talk only out of pity, or because we find it funny. Just keep going out nonstop until rejection is nothing to you. Only then will you not care if you don't close, and the nervousness is gone. Then you can become a lion.

Hope this helps!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:00 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:15 pm
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Location: Calgary
Gaah. Alright guys and gals, really appreciate the advice. I've been out since that night and made a few changes. Instead of constantly trying to look like I'm having a good time I actually had a good time. Now I was with some girl who absolutely hates my guts (long story), so I got ditched, but I didn't let it bother me. I went out on the dance floor and danced. I sat around and let myself relax. And when I opened I didn't let the results affect me, it was just an experiment to see what works, right? I used a FTC and it really did help. Of course I have this tragic fear of running out of shit to say, so I ejected too early, but definitely a learning experience. "Do you guys know what cunnilingus is?" "My friends seriously couldn't guess for 45 minutes. I told them to google it, they're gonna get some interesting results when they get home tonight." Usually good for a laugh.

Again, thanks all for the advice.

_________________
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. "
-David Grayson


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