Hi all,

I was out last night with someone I have known for six years. We have always had a flirty relationship, and when drunk it has sometimes gone a little too far (nothing major). We have both been in relationships etc so I've always avoided her more suggestive comments.

When we are out she will talk about us fucking all the time, when she thinks no one will hear. I've never really responded with a "come on" type response.

Anyway, last night I thought what the heck and when she made a sexual comment I challenged her on it. We were in a group, and she is cheating on her boyfriend with some other guy so no one needs this getting out.

We have very hot eye contact, and I know she likes the idea of getting fucked in secret.

She kept getting me drinks (vodak) and was majorly trying to get me drunk and we had a little game of footsie under the table so her friends couldnt see.

Today I got this text:

Hey hon, I think If I had stayed any longer you would have been sick! If I'm going to stay sane thats just not the kind of thing I can do anymore. I need to not drink too much, get lots of sleep and have great friends.You guys give that too me. I love you all. looking forward to seeing you at new years eve..

I dont care about the politics, I am just looking to overcome any objections, fuck her, improve my skills and move on. The very least I want is to know what this email means in "horny woman speak"

she has mentioned we need to go out for a drink a few times, but always when she is legless. I am the only person who knows she was cheating on her boyfriend before they broke up.

Should I go with:

Sanitys over rated.

Dont be so hard on yourself.

set up a meeting (risky, potential backfire, but could make her hot and ho0rny)

By set up a meeting I mean a time for us to fuck. Or are there hidden objections I need to overcome?

You should get together with her 1-on-1 and have a few drinks while flirting with her and see where things go. She's trying not to come off as a slut, which is what you think of her, so you're gonna have a lot of trouble because girls don't want to be considered sluts. You need to just accept that she's a sexually active woman that is interested in sex and not judge her or make her feel bad for it. Show her it's ok to do what she desires.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Rye - your response is SOLID GOLD.

If I ever email or text this girl, she likes to let everyone in the group know which due to group politics is dangerous.

I've always just deflected the more sexual aspect of our friendship - due to having partners standing nearby at the time (she has never seemed to cared about if either of us were in relationships).

I sent her a text reply just saying - "you are waaaay too well behaved hon. take care"

This is the reply I got "Hon I am anything but well behaved. Have a lovely christmas and cant wait for new year"

She did once say she wanted to meet up for a drink when my gf was out, but with my then gf stood across the room it seems dangerous.

Anyway, after new year, she will be away for work in the far east for a month, so I can go round the clubs and everything.

Should I email her (I know she gets very lonely) during the three weeks she is away, or leave things cold? I prob wont be around new year due to looking after my god daughter so her parents can go out!

I think she might be probing with the "Im not well behaved bit", but I wouldnt reply.

I'd email her about 5 days before she comes back and be a little flirty. Don't push it hard, just be a little flirty, that way she's not entirely certain where you're at, but she'll be curious. In the email tell her that you want to get together for a drink between just the two of you to welcome her back and catch up. Don't go overboard, but make sure she understands you mean no friends and you can do this by subtly flirting as well.

The point of doing this about a week in advance is so that she has time to think about it and get ideas. It builds suspense and anticipation. Don't start chatting it up a bunch after that though, just send the one email and if she sends another back to confirm, then it's settled (you have to have all the details worked out and included in the first email, you're not deliberating over this) because the more contact you have, the less anticipation there is and the less excitement. If you send her more than 2 emails you've pretty much ruined that.

Have fun!

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thanks again Rye. She sent me an email today saying that she is sorry for not being in contact sooner. I didnt do anything to solicit that. I am 99% certain that she was screwing her fbuddy.

"Hey hon, sorry for not being in touch since we misbehaved with the Vodka. Work is mad. Thanks for the advice about my flat, really appreciate u caring about me...how are things at home???Can't wait for New Years!!!x

Here is an update about NYE.

Well, she texted me about going out on New Year. I didnt want to go as my ex would be there, but Missx said

"hey mate. Are you coming down anyway -you should?"

Me- "maybe"

"look pop down.I'll be there at nine. It would be good to see you.x"

I replied - "It would be good to see you, but I will be too drunk to focus by then. Off down at eight"

miss x -"if its any concellation, I am not up for it tonight at all. Shattered."
<-- was this inuendo?

me - "pull yourself together, get dressed, will see you later"

missx "ok makeup on. will see you at later"

She was already there when I arrived at eight even though she said she would be there for nine. She kept buying me drinks when my ex wasnt around, and we ended up getting pissed.

We always sit next to each other and let our legs rub together under the table, where no on can see, it might mean nothing to her but it seems like an IOI to me.

She was talking about a guy she liked at work and said that he is fit but not her type and she wants a guy who likes acting and hates football (thats me).


She then asked why me and the ex broke up and I told her it was because my ex though I had a thing for Missx's best friend. Miss x then said, "do you want her", to which I replied no, and she said that I need to understand that group politics meant nothing could happen with her friend.

She hugged me, and told me "you know I really love you, please email me when I am away and we can talk about stuff we are both going through with our exes", and we left.

She has gone on her work trip now and asked me to email her, so we could talk about problems, exs etc. I dont see how we get around our exs.

Some people have said she is interested but I am getting a little last minute resistance. Any thoughts on our texts, or the emails? Due to group politics neither of us can make a move, and she has made that clear by talking about her friend. I read it as - we need to be discrete.

Or does she just see me as a friend?

Rye -what should I email her? Should I talk about my ex, her ex, or not email her.

For what its worth she emailled my ex tonight saying she was in Australia and really lonely and she missed her ex bofriend, and the guy she cheated with as well. She asked my ex to email her lots.

Just to add part of the problem is we have known each other for years and always flirted. We are both technically single, but our exes are part of the group and missx has said twice - "we have good friends" and hinted we would lose them, which is true.

I should add that we both live with our exes , and my ex was wrecked on new years. She kept throwing up, and whilst I was telling missx about why I broke up with the ex, the ex woke up and it was very very clear MissX wanted to hear the full story.

She turned to my ex and said:

"I'll get you a cab, here is the money, you go home, I'll look after him and send him back to yours after midnight~"

is she messing with me, or does she "really love me" as she said? I dont feel like that about her, but I do want her, I'm just not sure if I should talk about exs like she wants in our emails.

Seeing as she has asked my ex to email her as well is she just seeing me as a friend?

first you need to ask ur self a big question, is she worth all the ENERGY?

seems to me like she playing games or needs attention

instead of waisting ur time on her you should out hooking up with other

chics....Let her come to you (Be Indifferent)


otherwise u'll end up sucking up in her Games....

_________________
"Attraction isn't a choice"-dd

Ok, from the sound of it I think she's using you as a "flirt release" friend. Girls will keep guy friends that they'll flirt with and talk about their shitty relationships with, without having any actual intentions of going any further. You're like a girlfriend because she can vent to you, but you're a guy and obviously into her so you make her feel sexy.

Unless you just grab this relationship by the horns and actually make a move it's never going to go anywhere. You can flirt all you like and play whatever games you want, but she's never going to sleep with you unless you just make a move. I wouldn't play her game of talking about exes and stuff because that just puts you more in the friend zone. Talk to her about fun stuff and exciting adventurous stuff, not things like exes because that's what her girlfriends are there for. Then when you see her stop being a pussy and just grab her and kiss her. That's what she wants you to do in order to move it forward and if you don't it never ever will.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thanks guys. We have known each other for four years, and were always both in a relationship. Its probably too difficult to make things happen. I'm not too bothered if nothing happens here, and I will certainly still be sarging in January.

Due to group politics we cant get together when we are in a group.

I certainly don't want to be Mr Flirt Release. I wasnt even aware that there was such a position. I hate the idea that she might see me that way. I need to put this baby to bed one way or another when she gets back.

Is it possible to escalate through email or build a sense of anticipation - in my mind that would be a total no no, but seeing as she is away till february and I can do other girls - why not?

Well like I said if you want to make a move when she gets back, then you can do that, but don't expect her to give you the go-ahead. Just fucking do it.

The whole "group politics" thing is just an excuse. Seriously it is just ridiculous and not a good reason in the least. Your friends won't give a shit, her friends won't give a shit, no one is going to care and the only people affected in this are the two of you. Even if it only ended up being some friends with benefits action no one would care because you guys are adults (hell even teenagers don't care about that kind of thing). If she brings it up just tell her that you know it's just an excuse to avoid seeing where things might lead and the same goes for you.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

K. Will report back when something happens.

Well, I sent her an email, something like so:

Hey Hon,

Hope you've landed and your smiling.

Thanks for new year. Chloe and particularly you got me out of the dumps on NYE.

Where did those bottles you found come from? - that really cracked me up.

Talk soon,

No doubt you are already misbehaving.


---------------------------

I have no clue about emails - is the above ok - I felt I had to send something as she asked me to email her. If she doesnt respond after asking me to email, I take it I should leave things.

If she does respond I will post the reply here and try and get a meetup when she gets back?

I have noticed sometimes she doesnt reply to my texts, always when we have been texting loads and it seems to come to a natural end, and then I text about something new. That first new text she seems to ignore, almost she is annoyed that I didn't keep texting even though there was nothing left to say.