First off, as you can see this is my first post, so I wanted to add something before I begin tapping into this vast array of knowledge that is at the disposal of men everywhere.

Saw this on a T shirt so can't take full credit but have used it a couple of times and it always gets a laugh and avoids answering the question.

Her- what you do for living?

You- I'm a bomb disposal expert, so if you see me running, try to keep up.

Complete newbie, learning the trade after 7 years of marriage destroyed any game I had previously. Very excited at the prospect and love your work guys.

Vice

I like to come back with "A janitor". Hasn't failed yet

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-Bronco

"I'm like a dog chasing a car; if I ever caught it I don't think I'd know what to do with it" - Heath Ledger as The Joker

Ask her what she thinks you do for a living, be a lil mysterious...

Sarge on

Nino

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You miss one hundred percent of the shots you dont take.

A cigarette lighter repairman, A lightbulb installer, A pencil sharpener inspector, a wig model.

I've just used stuff like that and look dead serious about it. They give you the look of oh okay and then say wait.... are you really being serious haha it opens the door to a neg as well. or a DHV story.

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Get Some

DO NOT go for the bomb tech thing... everyone's seen that shirt.

apart from that, there's a few ways to go depending on the level of comfort/attraction you have with the woman.

in general i like saying silly things like the ones given (disposable lighter repair man is a fav, though i'm a student so i use "i study rocket science" a lot)
the reason for this is that it's very playful and you still keep a bit of mystery by not answering her.
i'd go with a silly answer the first 2 times she asks but definately answer her the 3rd time (otherwise she might think that you either dont have a job or that you have a crap job that you're ashamed of)
this is even more effective if you actually have an impressive job because you didnt bring it up and tried to avoid talking about it... major dhv.

on the other hand, if you have a lot of attraction and a fair bit of comfort then there's nothing wrong with just answering truthfully the first time... especially if you dont have much of a c&f attitude.

HB: What do you do for a living?
Me: I sell Pez online (pause-and-grin). If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
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Why not take the opportunity to be funny, stay mysterious, and flip to elicit her values?

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--Revel

Revel in the moments which are the most FUN.

I'm a bomb disposal expert, so if you see me running, try to keep up.

That my friend has just made my day. Fucking hilarious. Im going to get a T shirt with that on for my friend - hes in the bomb squad. I wouldnt use it as a line though - obviously pre meditated.

Im a proffesional life coach.

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V1V

my personal favorite is the pencil sharpener inspector, as mentioned above, but some other ones i use are a taste tester of some sort, usually cheese or baby food, and an airbag deployment tester. i go and wreck cars to make sure their air bags deploy correctly.

also, a professional parallel parker. i read this one on a post when i first joined and it hasn't failed me yet.

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Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world. To hold it together as you walk through this hell, when everyone else would understand if you fell to your demons, that is true strength.

i love these

HB: what do you do?
PUA: im actually the national hooler hoop champion
HB laughs
PUA: *laugh with her, tapping shoulder for kino* no im actually a ____ but im looking to get back into my old carear of bieng the guy who packs the parachutes.... i had a 75% success rate.
HB laughs

HB: What do you do 4 a living?
I'm a crash test dummy for General Motors...lmao

To Blondes: I'm a Dumb Blonde IQ Enhancer. I make blondes smart.

To Brunettes: I die women's hair blonde. I make brunettes sexy.

Others. "I'm in the stolen goods industry."

"I'm a drug dealer. I sell aphrodisiacs. Don't tell anyone."

"I'm a male model for my own clothing company."

"I'm a male escort, but generally I don't charge."

"I only tell people I trust... can I trust you?"

"I'm self-employed."

Girl, impressed, asks / says "Really?"

I say, totally confident and proud of my trade "Yeah, I assemble ball-point pens in my one-room apartment."

I just tell them... Unless I am in the mood for being annoying.

PUA: You just had to ask didnt you, well prepare to get bored and dont say I didnt warn you! Im Mariah Careys body double in the sex scenes of Harry Potter 6... I know, it is not glamorous but it is a living.

"I get freaky."

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Your momma's so fat when she walked past the TV she was going to the kitchen to get cake 'cos she's fat.

i forget where i heard this but i love:

PUA: "I'm a dolphin shaver"
HB: "Hahaha dolphins dont have hair! :]"
PUA: "Well duh, i shave it off"