Man that's funny! I've got to work that into a routine or something, because that's priceless.

"You are cute, but I still wouldnt fuck you" in response to her laying into my friend a while ago. like really laying into him.

yeah imagine the shock. I walked away before I got slapped and kicked out of the club... fun times tho

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Its not failure, its a learning challenge.

Funny shit. Deliberate, so it doesn't neccesarily count.

Standing in Times Square, bored as shit with a friend, and I go to this girl (I'm wearing a $2000 outfit)

"Hey, listen, I'm homeless, and this creepy blonde girl has been following me for blocks, creeping me out, you think you could pretend to be my girlfriend for a bit, so she'd quit following me. Spare change would help too."

She says "Uh, what....?"

I go "never mind." and she walks away with the biggest WTF look ever.

Really funny time was when I was giving free pedicures (my job as a promoter) to girls, and there was like 8 HB6+s in front of me at once.

And I do the pedicure the first one and she's like "OMG so cool blabla" and her friends start saying "me!, me!, me!" now I'm a promoter, so I'm talking into a mic.

I go: "Listen, I'd do all of you right now if I could" (meaning the pedicure), before I realized what I said. I just went "Oh, shit." and they like looked like "WTF?!" for a second before everyone burst out laughing.

First approach my senior year of high school. Two HB8's, blond and brunette, with strange volcano haircuts. I walk up

ME: You guys have really weird haircuts.

they look at each other like (who the f*** is that guy)

Blond: Do you like it?

ME:... it's OK... I'd have to get used to it.

what a lame brained response. I was happy at the time because I actually approached, but i totally failed.

(this girl that pissed me off for like an entire year)
she:says something to me that pisses me off
me: you should shave that mustache
*awkward pause* whole class just shuts up
she says: you're dead! you're fucking dead


for the record this girl needed to fucking shave

Right, me and this girl had been drinking a little, but neither of us were near drunk.

Her: Hey, your house is like, two blocks away, wanna just crash here?
Me: Why? It's not that far, and where would I sleep?
Her: You could sleep in my room.
Me: Nah, thats OK, I don't mind the walk.

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"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. "
-David Grayson

A playmate of mine name Zoe was a hard-core Vegan...

I wanted to cook her an omelet, but she wouldn't eat eggs.

I asked her why she didn't have any problem with eating my sperm, since they were just like the eggs, ie: haploid cells which were doomed to die regardless.

She stop eating my sperm.

D'oh!

Johnny Soporno
Doofus

HOLY SHIT. haha, last time i checked this thread, it had like 20 posts. woah.

glad to be back on this forum, and hopefully in the community.

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There was this chick I was hanging out with this past summer, nothing serious. Anyways, I liked this chick, real fun (if you know what I mean), but she always talked about herself, always! After this dinner we had with her brand new roommates (we were all studying abroad) where she talked the whole time about her dog and her horse and her friend, blah blah we walked home together;

"You know, you talk too much in general, and its always about you... You should learn when to shut your mouth." (ouch right?)

Her: Just silence, look of "i'm so sorry"

"Anyways.. bla bla" I change the subject

So we continued to hangout, then one night, like 2 weeks later, again after dinner (we ate out a lot):

"I just want you to know, I've noticed you haven't been talking so much about yourself, and I'm proud of you."

Her: Just smiled like, "thanks I guess..??"

Then she stopped calling me.

So basically, I help this girl out, and I'm the bad guy! Talk about a howdoyado!

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Make Moves

Swoop

ROFLMAO!!

I have all kinds of non-gay love for you man.

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Artax
Devil's Advocate

"You're only as young as the women you feel."
"I am the Master of my unspoken words, and the Slave to those words that should have remained unsaid."

lol at the start of last year i was at my mates party
and me him and 2 chicks walked outside and were standing alone
and him and the other chick walk back in leaving me with a HB9, we look at each other for a sec( id only talked to her once before and shes older then me) and she starts leaning on me and says
"you're looking pretty sexy tonight" i was in a suit too cuz it was an oscars party
and i go
duhhhhhhhhh "your hot" and then the awkward silence
biggest mental blank lol my friends still give me shit for it

Yeah. I was at the gym and there were three hot blondes in their bikinis going into the sauna. So I go in say "Hi, I hope I'm not interrupting any confidential female conversation" They reply positively "Oh no... come in ".Me:- "Because I came into the sauna the other day and these two girls were talking about ....( Now you never really know where these daft replies come from ; sometimes it can be the easiest an best thing to say the first thing that pops into your head ) so I blurted out "death, a death in the family". Talk about shooting yourself in the foot - the vibe went right down and there was an inevitable and quick evacuation on their part. Although I did get a very sympathetic farewell from one of them.
You have to burn - if your gonna learn.

This isn't me but I heard about a story where a guy was talking to his school's head cheerleader. She was telling him some story and noticed midway through that he was staring. She asked what he was staring and his next words were:

"Oh, it's just, when are you gonna shave that mustache?"

Beat that guy!

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All the world is a stage, but the play is badly cast!
-Oscar Wilde

While there have been so many stupid things that have been let out voluntarily with varied reaction, the mood killers always end up being the most memorable. The deliberate, 24 years old and I was at a small bar in the middle of Pennsylvania with some of my Marine Corp buds, and I entered a two set alone and made the mistake of not giving the friend much of any attention when she bursts in to cock block or shit test me and I told her "Don't get so bent out of shape just because nobody in the place is drunk enough to show you their cock, it doesn't mean you have to ruin your friends night too." Bonus, the next morning I discovered my truck had been keyed.
The unintentional, I was 21 and on leave hanging out back home when I ran into this HB10 I had met casually through a friend while I was on leave previously. I had already had plenty to drink when I approached her and knowing her from before there was no AA at the time. We hit it off again but this time I was closing left and right. Got her crawling over me in my car parked in front of my house. Clothes coming off and she was "sweating"... She had on some so sexy, matching panties and bra, and on that body make you think DAMN!! At this point the little voice in my head starts his f close celebration a little early screaming in my head, "OMG!! She's so fucking hot and you're going f her!!! AND SHE'S SO F---ING HOT!!!" Then out of random drunk thinking my mouth opens and I say "God, we'd make such beautiful babies." The temperature dropped 100 degrees and I tried to recover but within 5 minutes she was out of my car, into her's and driving home. Close enough I could smell her but blew up the close.

Two of my biggest regrets in life dealing with women. These happened back when I was a total AFC and a virgin:

First one: I was at a party and talking to two cute chicks, one was on my lap and the other sitting to my right. The one on the right was openly bi so I talked them into kissing each other. Then the bi girl turned to me and tried kissing me, but I didn't really kiss back, I just kinda froze. "Why aren't you kissing back?" she asked. And I said "Cuz your bf is upstairs," which was true, but totally AFC of me. Huge mistake.

Second one was back when I had just read DeAngelo's DoubleYourDating so I was practicing the C&F. Somehow I managed to get this really hot blonde girl who I worked with to have a huge crush on me, and it turns out she was pretty slutty. So we made out a few times, and then one day after school we were on my bed and she asked why I didn't try to have sex with her. I made some lame excuse about my mom coming home soon. Then she asked if i was a virgin and I said "maybe" but refused to admit it completely. And then to top it off, I asked her if she would be my girlfriend.

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"I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MY DESIRES AS A MAN.
I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MYSELF.
I MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD WITHOUT APOLOGY." - Ross Jefferies