We'll since my ex stayed over 2 weeks ago, I've gained a strong oneitis again. I talk to heaps of girls over the net these days and try to get out the house more often. When I don't think about her, I feel great. But I constantly get the urge to talk to her and I put it off. Finally when we do speak, she gives me a few IOI's but since it is only over msn, I'm not sure if they're false. I really felt more comfortable than I have ever been with her after she slept over and I'm she did too.

Since then, she has been very distant from the internet unlike in the past. I have only spoken to her 3 times since. I am planning to arrange another meeting these holidays and I am sure she will comply but I realise that the more quality time I spend with her, the more I miss her.

I seriously want to get over this since we broke up all the way back in April. I was completely afc back then and its the reason we broke up but since then, I know I've become a better person and the IOI's I get from girls including her have been evident.

The fact she has a BF seems irrelevant as she never talks about him to me at all and is willing to see me. The oneitis I feel now is close to how I felt straight after our break up which subsided when I learnt game and why my afc behaviour did not work. It annoys me that how I know all this information now, I still feel this way.

I would like to talk to her more often but I feel I am purposely being too distant to not appear needy. I feel like I need to establish more comfort with her but through msn, it seems hard, and she hasn't returned a phone call since.

I really need some solid advice here. Thanks if you can help me.

#1. Read This:

Guide to Kicking Oneitis:
a-guide-to-kicking-oneitis-vt33797.html

#2. Your brain and your heart are all over the place. You're telling me that you broke up in April of this year and she already has a new b/f? Ouch. That doesn't seem like enough time to get over a big relationship. How long were you two together? You're making it sound as if you're coming off a 10 year relationship or something.

Here's the real question - simple yes or no:

Do you want her (back)?

Honestly, if yes then maybe there are others on this forum that can give you some advice. But in my opinion, if a woman leaves you because you're too "AFC" then I can't imagine why you'd want to be with that person. There's something here you're not telling us.

When I read your post the general feeling I got from you is that your reality, your perception and your view of the world around you... is bent. What that means is that all of your actions, goals, and aspirations are bent and twisted around this one girl. You are still looking to her for completion. What was the real reason you two broke up? You being "AFC" is not a sufficient reason. If a girl dumps you because you're a good guy, then why the fuck do you want her back?

There's something here that doesn't add up.

Secondly - seriously - stop LOOKING for IoI's. I used to do the same thing. It'll cripple you. You will spend every minute of every day trying to quantify women's reactions to you based on these IoI's; to the point where it will become a crutch. They're great in the field, but if you're constantly building your "new" perception of reality around them, then things tend to get upsetting when at some point (and this WILL happen) you get all the IoI's but the girl isn't interested. With you constantly seeking IoI's out of your ex- you are going to make life that much more complicated and painful if, in the end, she's just leading you on (or so you perceive). Don't look for IoI's. Let the skill of intuiting them come with time.

At this point I can't give you much more because I don't know what's going on. I won't give you advice. I will, however, help you find the tools to make the right decision for you; as will everyone on this forum.

Cheers,

Q.