Does anyone have any routines, or tactics to turn a "we should get coffee and talk" situation around? I've k-closed this HB earlier this week, and almost managed to f-close a few days later, but I think my game is scaring her off. Now I think she wants to talk over coffee tomorrow and take a step back. Is there any hope or should I forget it and go for others?

Any quick help would be awesome because this is supposed to go down tomorrow.

Thanks guys

I would agree with everything she said and just go drink coffee. There is a real power in disqualifying statements.

Anyways, I don't see the problem with your situation as long as you're still going out in the evenings as well.

Whats wrong with sitting down and talking? Don't you want to get to know her?

Could someone elaborate on the idea of disqualifying yourself? I seems a little counter intuitive.

Artistic,

The girl is probably trying to convey that things are moving a little fast for her and maybe she wants to build a little more comfort and closeness before getting with you. Slut defense going up. My suggestion, match her speed, continue using compliance tests to see where she's at, and the disqualifiers that guruOz mentioned probably are referring to going out and telling her something like, "Ya, coffee sounds great. It'd be a great idea to get to know each other a little better cause there's a lotta passion here and it's a little out of control with you (good voice tone in this delivery)." Disqualify yourself as just another dude after her poon only. Am i right about that guruOz? Of course, I'm making an assumption on what you're telling us here, you're in the situation and can figure out what she's after better than we can.

Run the CUBE on her over coffee and/or get familiar with some palm reading techniques. Getting to know her better will only make the sex and relationship better for you and for her

Fair?

Good luck, let me know if it helps and how it works out.

-=JeDi=-

Ok, field report time!

So, I appreciate all of your helpful advice regarding tactics and routines. I found that when a HB you've been gaming has the desire to talk, if you've played well, it's usually to make sure you aren't playing her (which of course you are)...or at least it was in this case.

Our coffee date was a bit of a step back from our previous dates, (dinner and hookah bar, movies at her place, both followed by serious making out) But it definitely put her into rapport, which I think she had yet to reach.

With a combination of disqualifying statements to make me NOT that guy who used her and tossed her awhile back, (thanks guruOz) plus some compliance and kino, as well as the Cube (thanks Jedi), I was able to turn a potentially fatal sticking point into an overall DHV.

While a Starbucks isn't really the place to full on makeout, I did manage to award her gold stars, do the whole goofy cute play and instruct her to kiss me where I pointed.

My feeling is that I've taken a bit of a backwards step, but I'm ok with that, considering I very nearly F-closed a HB8 (who is totally unaware of her hotness) on day two. Pretty good for a RAFC!

Thanks guys!

Nice work artistic Glad it helped,

It'd be interesting in hearing a few examples of disqualifiers you used and how effective they were for you. What did you say and how she respond sort of stuff?

Sounds like the next step is getting your seduction techniques prepped and ready. Have you read up on any of that stuff? You might already have her good-to-go if you push her buttons right (compliance tests as indicators). Remember, with females, seduction starts in the mind.

-=JeDi=-

Disqualifying is a pick up technique where you intentionally say something to remove or distance yourself as a potential mate. Its an indirect technique used to build attraction, rapport, and ultimately disarm the girl. Think of yourself as a Trojan horse: by removing yourself as a potential mate, she lowers her guard, becomes attracted in what she can't have, and allows you an easier opportunity to build attraction.

Ex. "If I weren't gay, you'd be so my type."

"That's really cool you're dating Derek, he's a great guy." <endorsing another male>

"I totally just want to be friends; I'm not really interested in a relationship right now." <pre-agreeing or just agreeing with the LJBF statement in order to disarm the girl>

"I'm glad we're hanging out first; I wanted to help you screen the other guys"

Here is Mystery's definition:

Disqualification Theory is an expansion of the neg. It is a social tactic based on the idea that what a woman can't have, she wants more. It is a large part of indirect game as it can disarm a woman from thinking that the man is hitting on her. It can correlate to pre-selection theory as well - as if a man is taken, he is like a forbidden fruit to other women.

Also, you don't need to use disqualifiers if you're already in the door, meaning she is already attracted to you and you are building comfort.