I just deleted 5 numbers out of my cell phone



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:30 pm 
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I appreciate all of the gurus on this site, you've taught me many things. Put at this point, I really don't know where to go or what to do. Maybe I should go back to my own way of doing things?

I'm a chameleon. I learn new things and conform to them very well. I picked up a few openers to get me started, waited the standard 2 days to call, kept the conversation to 15 mins max, used CF lines, etc, etc and none of them worked out. I don't have to pretend to be busy, so I call these girls once every few days. I don't think it was enough. They drifted. I have some questions that I hope someone has the answer to because I'm very discouraged at this point. I get no phone calls. Approaching is a breeze, calling them for the first time is a breeze, but getting them out is like pulling teeth.

Another weird thing is out of the last 4 that I met, 1 was married, 1 was engaged, and 2 had boyfriends. I was alone with all of them and listened to what was coming out of their mouths, and not their body language, and gave into LMR. I know that was a fault of mine, but I figured, "I'd rather have her respect me" but it got me nowhere. They've all moved on and we don't speak anymore. The married one said she "felt uncomfortable" because I came onto her too strongly. What did the bitch expect, she's married and came over to my house at almost midnight!

My old way of winning girls over was making them feel special, we'd talk on the phone for the first time for hours, I'd call them once a day, once every two days at the most, and make them feel like they were the only one I was interested in. Pretty much everything I've seen is completely contrary to that. Is there something in between the lines I'm not reading and doing? I thought as a busy man, I'd be getting chased since I'd come off as mysterious, but instead, I'm doing the chasing, which leads to nowhere. Maybe nowadays girls have too many options, and don't feel the need to chase, I don't know. Or maybe my game isn't tight enough. No idea. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I'm almost there, but there's something I'm missing that'll tip the scale my way.

I'm losing the war fellas, and I need help. I need the combat medics to help me with my wounds, I'm so discouraged. :(

Thanks,

Per


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:40 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:29 am
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Yeah it's not worth the hassle of chasing after them.

Too many girls on the go?

What are you after? Sex or a meaningful relationship?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:41 pm 
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Hell, I'm always looking for sex. :D

But if I do run into a quality girl that has too many positives to pass by, I'd be down for a relationship.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 8:36 pm 
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Why does it need to be one or the other? Open relationships, for the right people, work wonders in situations like yours. You have all the benefits of a relationship, but you're both free to sleep with other people. Set the rules in the beginning, don't change them, and roll with the discomfort that comes with knowing your girl is with another guy (it sucks, especially if you know when it's going down, but roll with it anyway).

Polyamory can be awesome. If it's not for you, then you'll need to choose, but I'd give it a try before you pick relationships over meaningless sex.

_________________
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-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 9:16 pm 
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But fellas, I'm not even getting to the intimate part yet. For the past 6 months or so, I haven't been reeling them in close enough to even get to that point. That's where I need help. Maybe I should break down some questions further.

1. Should I be aiming to get them to have feelings for me? Is that where the seduction actually is? Or am I completely relying on their physical wants?
2. Has anyone read up on a way to pick out certain girls and know what they're looking for? Maybe I'm choosing the wrong women. A friend of a friend studies girls like a scholar and can point out who he can take home and who is a goodie two shoes.
3. If you were ever discouraged at the same point that I am, what did you do to change your luck around? Or do you take it as bad luck and keep it movin'?
4. My judgement is obviously off concerning when to come on strong and when to play it cool. Is there a rule of thumb for that?

I've been reading a lot of books and watching online videos...the whole nine. None if it addresses smaller issues that can trip up someone who's new to this. I feel that I have the major things down.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 9:30 pm 
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1) No. You need her to be comfortable, attracted and horny. She doesn't need to love you, and if she does, it'll be worse for the both of you in the end.
2) Prequalify. Hard. Make strong statements about what you want, and if she doesn't match those statements, move on to the next girl. If a compromise can be made, go ahead and try it, but make sure she knows what you want, and if she wants to be around you, that's what she needs to be willing to give you.
3) Discouragement happens. Take a break. Sit back, do some baking, watch Hitch and laugh at Big Willie's mistakes. When you're in a better place, start again from the basics.
4) Calibration. Juggler's stuff is the best on calibration, and even that's pretty sparse. It's mostly just experience and learning how to read people with more accuracy.

And if you haven't noticed, these are _big_ things. These are not small deals. Calibration, especially, is huge. You need to figure out when you push and when you pull, and that's a big deal.Prequalification is the next most important, because it means you need to figure out exactly what you want, and how to state that in the form of normal conversation. And the first question proves to me that, no, you do not have the basics down.

_________________
Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 9:48 pm 
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Thanks Monkey. I'm realizing that getting the number, phone game, and even getting her over to my house is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm not doing as well as I thought. After a short break, I'm hitting this with full force.


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