How's things everyone? Just a quick one that I'd be interested in your thoughts on (trying to be short and to the point):

- Months ago through work, meet a flirty and fun HB9 (but has BF)... think nothing of it at the time

- Over coming weeks/months she wants to see me more than more, catch up a couple of times for quick drinks and whatnot and both have a wonderful time (no K or F close). Lots of IOIs. SHE calls ME.

- She leaves to go away to another city with BF. No further exchange but 2 months later shes back in contact and sad we havent spoken.

- Contact been going right up until now and has escalated, lots of IOIs (or is she just being ultra flirty?!), go as far as to say shes throwing herself at me... wants me to escalate etc but I wont if she has a BF.

- Hints at leaving him and moving to my city... wants to 'come and play at my house'... continues with heaps of IOIs but then so I demand to know where I infact stand (re the BF)

- Calls me and says she wants to leave him and hang out with me in my city, "if something happens great but dont get the wrong idea, not moving there for you" etc.

- TXTs me when drunk iwth stuff like "love you","think you're hot" etc.

- Wants to spend NYE with me

- Talks about current BF all the time (its amazing how quickly i lose interest when she does this...)

- I tried a recent freeze out and won bigtime

- She says she has powerful romantic dreams about me (i dream about her too funnily enough...)

- When shes at work now she says she's hopeless because all she can think about it me and i'm "doing her head in"

- Other night talked on the phone for what seemed like 5 minutes but it was 5 and a half hours (until 4am!)


Am I just the fallback guy because she is thinking about leaving her BF and she wants the security of knowing that 'shes still got it' and 'theres someone else' and all that kind of stuff.

Am I being played? Am I being treated as an option rather than a priority?

If she does move here should I go for it? Play it cool?

I'm at risk of losing the attraction (if I'm reading it right) for lack of action due to her current BF status.

Thanks champs looking forward to your thoughts - I can elaborate if you like.

MISTER EX

man you got her! I seriously doubt she is faking that kind of stuff, probably you need to comunicate her that you are interested in her too. Maybe qualifying her a little bit before showing your interest could be good, so she doesnt think youre too easy. Anyway, sounds like she's in love with you, so just calm down and relax b/c you got her. Thats my opinion/advice, maybe someone more experienced could give his opinion

personally, I had a situation exactly like this in every way. Me and the girl to this day are still good friends but she still tries to pull this shit. This girl is always gonna want you when she can't have you but when you really show you want her its "just not the right time" or something or another. You might be able to sleep with her, I did with mine but it really wont change anything, she sees you as a guy she thinks its ok but just enjoys knowing that he will always be there, I suggest staying good friends with her if yall enjoy each others company but don't look for a relationship here, take it like she is and just have fun with it, then if you do end up sleeping with her it was just some nice ass on the side. no heartbreak

For what its worth, an update.

She was massively keen for a while there - but when it actually has come to the crunch of breaking up with her current BF shes gone all quiet and weird etc. Like totally changed her tune, being a bit standoffish, not talking. You've heard/seen it all before!

So as much as it disappoints me in some ways; i'm just giving it a wide berth until she can move away from him and get her head right.

The thing that confuses me most is that over an email it came up that after she breaks up with this guy she's moving back to her home town and it just so happens coincidentally i'm going to be there for a period of time next week for work - and she got all excited and called me straight away to discuss but i didnt have concrete details so i couldn't arrange anything. Hardly spoken since.

Who knows - time will tell!!!!