Hey guys

I recently found the pickup scene and am having trouble (understatement) with approach anxiety. When speaking to a fellow experienced PUA i asked him if he still gets anxious. He replied Any suggestions on how to overcome this would be great but also how do you feel when approaching women. Will i always have this feeling to some degree?

Many thanks Pedro (newbie)

Hey,

I think depending on the woman's attractiveness (1-10) we'll all feel some form of approach anxiety, the best way to counter-act this is by repeatedly approaching.

Not only will this fine-tune your game, but it will build confidence. Confidence > Approach anxiety.

Do you slip into another personality when you are out sarging? Aliasing is a great way to overcome whatever difficulties you may have.

I know it has fixed up all my problems. Approach anxiety bugged me for a while, until I read about using an alias.

I took every quality I needed to be a decent pickup artist and rolled it all into this one persona, gave it a nice name and forget about everything else.

In return approach anxiety has been squashed substantially.

Pedro - Awesome post.

Anytime - that is brilliant.

I don't have much experience in psychology, but I am studying for a PSYC major.

Aliasing would seem to fit how our minds work. How our brains identify themselves and their experience. I think lot of the AA we has a lot to do with familiar situations, whether they be people or circumstances. E.G. I was in a club one day, the next day I realize I actually have more AA in class than I do at the club. All perception. So perhaps "fit" yourself into that schema he's talking about, and don't break it. The mind cannot tell whether input comes from memory, or from the current situation (which is where the AA comes from anyway). If you build that feeling up strong enough in your mind, it will overtake the other schemas your brain has built.

Awesome Anytime, where did you read about this, or is this your idea?

_________________
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. -- Buddha (the playa)

Aliasing . . . ha ha ha . . .

My voice actually changes when I get into "night club" mode. I stopped noticing this but the last time I had a cocktail party and several girls I've never met showed up, I did the voice . . .

Well, this girl I know goes, "Why are you talking like that? What is that?"

"Oh, that's my magician voice. I'm going to do a magic show now . . " Ha ha ha . . .

Now, it's not that I can't chat to strangers without the voice . . . During the day, I never do this . . . it would be stupid. But in night clubs. . . ha ha . . . It's funny.

Anyhow, one thing to try is to imagine your favorite actor and just do it. Go in and move the way you think he would move and talk like the way you think he would talk. React the way you think he'd react. Just do this drama exercise. You're now a completely different person. . . .

No matter which method you use, practice and successful results melts away those fears. It's like anything in life. Your first time driving? Your first day in school? Nervous right? You do it enough times with successful results and it just becomes second nature. Approaching people is the same way. You'll feel your anxiety lessen and lessen and this will inspire you to open more and more. At a certain point, I dare say you'll find yourself in situations where you'll feel more anxious about the thoughts of NOT approaching girls . . . "She's walking in the other direction! Chase her down dummy, chase her down! Whoo. . . here we go, she's right in front of me exactly where I want her. . . Hi . . . "

Cheers mate!

I read about aliasing in a book called "The Game" by Neil Strauss (Style).

I'm 170 pages into it, really engrossed in it too! Excellent material.

"The Game" you say? Never heard of it. Well maybe I'll look in to that

Back on subject, there are self-hypnotic ways as well to help reduce AA. Two that come to mind are 'tapping' and the 'swish pattern.' Also, you can reduce AA by following the 3 second rule (make yourself approach within three seconds of seeing a set) or by dissociation. Dissociation is separating yourself from the situation by imagining being out of your body, almost like in a movie theater, and watching yourself approach confidently.

_________________
There are no failures, only feedback.

Cheers for the responses guys it was my first post and was not sure what to expect.

Anytime: The alias concept is new to me but sounds like an excellent idea (a must try). Where did you read up on this concept as I would be very interested to read it as well. Cheers. p.s- Just started reading the 'game' and now really want to finish it.

LokeAlive: Thanks. I mentioned it was my first post and it has done my confidence the world of good to get positive feedback.

kasabi: I suppose changing your voice could be something I could try on its own or incorporate into my alias. A couple of things i can try.

Plethora: Will look into 'tapping' and the 'swish pattern' as both new concepts to me. Have heard of the 3 second rule but sometimes struggle to put into action. Maybe trying dissociation will be a good idea especially to get my confidence up. Also excellent point about no failure only feedback. What a great way to look at it.

Me@Brighton, England = No AA what so ever.
I live in Sweden.

I believe that by not having anything to lose, you are unable to feel AA. AA is rooted in the fear of rejection, and death. If she were taken by a Alpha-male 30k years ago, he might have killed you. If you were rejected, well.. then you might never get to mate with her ever.

Get an Alias. =D.

Great advice in this thread.

_________________
Style: Who do you think lies more...
DeAngelo: What's up fool?
AFC: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

The voice is just an extension of an alias. Facial gestures, hand gestures, etc . . . they all play roles. You gotta love Clooney's "What the Fuck?" Facial expression. You gotta love Brad Pitt's, "Oh yeahhhh!" facial expression. You gotta love the way Nicholson gets that semi serious/happy face when he goes on a rant.

Then you just do the whole voice that goes along with it. Now, most of us aren't actors. If we were, we would actually look like we're "trying" to be these people and it would be dorky. This works because most of us are sucky actors and people have NO clue what the hell is going on . . . but it works. It's funny. . . and people go along with it. Night clubs, crowded lounges, parties . . . in these places, everybody talks about work, road directions, taxi catching styles, school, etc . . . but NOBODY wants to hear about it. People love seeing something different and unusual. They want to hear something different and unusual. And when it's delivered in a different and unusual way . . . it can be a lot of fun.