Hey comrades:

A sticking point for me is that I'm married. My wife and I have an open marriage, so I can fuck anyone I want essentially. BUT...some percentage of the HB's are thrown off by the idea that I'm married. If I were single, no prob...many married women are apparently open to cheating with a married man...it seems guys in the open marriage deal are the least comfortable for a single woman. (Just a note, I'm targeting divorced/widowed single moms with kids...I want women who already have their own life and don't want to change it. I'm after desert, and I'm targeting women who are likely to be after desert as well.) I really don't want to lie and pretend I'm single or divorced (or seperated). I'd rather be honest and tackle it that way.

So, I'm trying to figure how to work past that sticking point. I think the right approach might be to imply that the HB is immature, insecure, or not very intelligent if she can't be comfortable with the fact that I'm married. What do you think? Here's some phrases I've been using in online sarging:

- I realize it takes a tremendous amount of emotional maturity and relationship intelligence to grasp the idea of an open marriage. I'll let you decide if you want to continue talking to me or not.

- You said that you are not the jealous type...is that true? It doesn't seem like you are emotionally capable of sharing a companion.

Statements like these make it up to the HB to prove to me that she's mature or smart about people or not insecure by continuing to associate with me. Do you think this is an effective approach?

If I actually master this, perhaps I'll write a book on how to work an open marriage from the guy's perspective.

Post your thoughts, dudes!

Cheers,
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Back up a sec...one of the things I've seen is that divorced moms have a tendency to want a man for "desert" moreso than younger single HB's who have the fairy tale of starting a happy family in their minds. From what I've seen, divorced moms often want to focus on their kids, and like the company of a man (including the sex) but don't want to get married again and turn their and their kids lives upside down yet again. Divorced moms are often after "desert only". That seems like a perfect target for a man in an open marriage, does it not?

My wife actually agrees that divorced MILF's are a good target for me. In fact, a divorced MILF I work with agrees that divorced MILF's are a good target for me (although she's one of those ladies who has the sticking point about me being married).

The sticking point though is that I'm in an open marriage...single/divorced/seperated is easy to understand, cheating husband is easy to understand, "open marriage" takes some explaining and is more difficult to understand. I'm attaching emotion judgements to their ability to accept and understand that it's not cheating, essentially.

Now, I have been told by another man who was in an open marriage for several years that to be successful, I'm going to have to pretend I'm single (if I want single women) or pretend I'm a cheater (if I want to bang cheating wives, which I don't...sex is not worth being shot in the head). I'm being open and honest about being in an open marriage...I don't see any harm in challenging the woman's view of it. In fact, maybe that would make a good opener, huh?

Cheers,
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

gruuve you make the weirdest posts. you know that???

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V1V

Why make things hard for yourself? Sarge the LSE girls they are happy for any attention, I would pretend you are cheating saves over complicating matters and would be funny when they try tell your wife. Who knows what your doing. Good luck.

I suppose you might be correct...at least I'm not boring, eh?

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Hmm...go for the LSE single girls and pretend I'm cheating. Ya know, that does kinda hold some fun right there, doesn't it? I can hear the phone call to my wife now:

[Phone rings...]
LSE: "Can I speak to Ms. Gruuve?"
Wife: "Speaking."
LSE: "I'm fucking your husband."
Wife: "Oh, really? You must be Bambi! Good to talk to you. He's pretty good in the sack, isn't he? Has he gotten you to rip the sheets off the bed yet?"
LSE: "Um..." [Click...dial tone]

The only thing this doesn't accomplish is having a threesome with my wife and another woman. Maybe I could let my wife bust us and then just join in, huh?

Question: What's the best way to spot the LSE girls? Actually that's probably a good new topic, isn't it? (I'll search to see if it already exists.)

Cheers,
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

why are you even married if you don't mind my asking?

Valid question...don't mind at all. My wife and I love each other, have a daughter together, and have had a great sex life together. Mainly the open marriage is to heat up our own sex life and give each other freedom to enjoy other people. The good stuff about being married plus some of the good stuff about being single. There ya go...the intentions are definitely good.

Cheers,
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

true lol

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V1V

I agree. If someone presses the issue tell them that you are seperated, and string them along. But do you share the same bed as your "open" wife? Is your wife looking for 3-somes.... Really intresting situation

Yes, my wife and I share the same bed and still have sex with each other. (Although at the moment, we are having some difficulties and she's sleeping in another room, that's not the norm.) Yes, she has said she is open to a threesome, but so far she's said "no" to any woman I've suggested that we know. I've said "OK, let's both go out and pickup a threesome partner together!", and she's said she will but hasn't actually done that with me yet. I think it would be quite fun to pickup another woman as a couple...I'm sure just the process of being picked up by a man and a woman would be so unusual that it would totally defuse any of the target's defenses.

I really don't want to lie to the target, I'd like to keep all of this honest. When I go out, I have been wearing my ring but just acting single. If someone asks, I'll tell them. So far though, no one has really asked that I recall. Interesting, huh?

I'm probably a good case study for this site! Some of you guys will probably end up in open marriages at some point (I think it happens more than is actually visible, to be honest).

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Dont wear your ring and dont bring up the fact that your married till AFTER sex... It isnt lying if no one ever asks

I feel dishonest about not wearing the ring, actually...I'm misrepresenting myself as being single (although I have put it in my pocket several times, not lately though). If I have the ring on and they don't notice or don't ask...well, their problem, I'm not hiding anything. Not sure how well that perspective works in the field, but I guess I'll find out!

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Gruuve, hats off on a very progressive-minded lifestyle experiment. I appreciate that you are doing this with only honest intent. Honesty is the only way toward harmony. I wish you good times. Also, as a side-note, because your posts are intelligent, I'd like to point out that dessert is spelled using the repeating "s". It's like desert except you want a second helping of "s" making it a dessert. (I'm well aware that this may be the most inconsequential note made in the history of this forum).

Anyway, happy sarging.

Peace

Nice catch, point taken.

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Divorced dude having a good life.