Help guys,

Met and got talking to the niece of a colleague on a works night out two months ago. Never got her number but go it via her auntie. Texted her, re introduced myself and told I would call her that night. Her reply was ‘I’m going to a friends who got boyfriend troubles and needs some cheering up, not sure what time I’ll be back” get another text when she’s out with a load of family members. Couldn’t be bothered meeting up. (My opinion then was, if she wanted me then we’d get together with a crowd)
Anyways, another works do last Friday, only got chance for a brief chat, texted her over the weekend, got replies. Come to work on Monday and tell her auntie I’m going to call her and ask her to go shoe shopping (low risk meet up) her auntie tells me to pluck up the courage and ask her to go for a meal / drink ” the light is green so I don’t think she’ll say no”

So I email her at work and get a fluff conversation going. I then say I’m going to call you tonight, mobile or landline, and I don’t have your landline.

Her response “Can’t im out tonight and don’t know what time im back”

Any opinions on this? Could be her issue or I haven’t built comfort up yet. How do I play it, freeze her out ands not reply. Tell her auntie that she must be a very busy person…well it’s her loss etc”

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i'm into what you can be, if you want to be.
it's a way of living !

just say "I understand" - it worked for me b4. Otherwise do a freezeout.

modster -=

from the start you were fucked....



1. she had all the power

2. you never took control of the situation (you were just being a bitch in this instance - you needed to establish some kind of dominance in the conversation)

3. you gave her every excuse for an out - even thinking up excuses for her.
you needed to establish a set time and place and tell her that you are doing xxx, ill meet you there at xxx time....

4. you asked HER AUNTY for the number (or, i think, she offered it to you!!)
. her aunty has more balls than you by telling YOU to ask her out
(im surprised you didnt just ask the aunty to ask her for you...)

5. you seem to build no comfort or esculate sexuality with her - im guessing you simply had a talk...

6. you should have CALLED her - msg are TOO EASY to avoid and be flacid - you had established contact.

7. ***************you had DLV************* in every sense for convo, follow up and this FR!!

8. Freeze out!!????? from what?? what have you got to offer her that would make her come back from more???? if you freeze out - you will never hear from her again i think....

9. stop conversing through the aunty - BUT she is right - you should have grow some nuts and asked her out from the start.

10. dont tell her your going to call her tonight - in this, you are asking for permission to call - DLV - just fucking call her!!

what id do now if you were still keen is just call her up, fluff, build rapport and comfort and neg, if you feel its right tell her to meet you at xxx...

if oyuve lost her - then you will learn from it...

thanks for the opinion.
i agree i reckon ive fucked up and any other contact now will just be digging a bigger hole. move on and learn by it.

UPDATE

havent been in touch for two days - today i get this email off her

'have you recovered from ya weekend'

will try to play it differently this time and build comfort etc. will scan the posts for pointers.

_________________
i'm into what you can be, if you want to be.
it's a way of living !

phoned her up and went out with her and i was a little pleased with myself

took her to 6 bars

bar 1 - was fluff talk (all her zzzzzzz) table between us.
bar 2 - sat next to her, hand on her knee as often - no resistance.
bar 3 - stood up, right close to her. was push/pulling. she mentioned that she was shy- 6 months ago i would have said she aint into me but i thought (thanks to this stuff), 'no she wants me to lead', so i will.held her hand and led her away from this bar
bar 4 - meeting the DJ my mate had little impression on her. was leaning talking into her ear, then one time i kissed her cheek, then i repeated the kiss but this time i stood back straight and looked her in the eyes then lips etc and went for it - BINGO. was squeezing her hands, pulling her towards me while kissing her and she was repeating the gesture.
bar 5 & 6 were the same with lots of chat.
kiss closed in the taxi.

txt the day after to see if she got home ok, threw in a fluff joke. fought the AFC urge in me to phone (email/TXT) her since.
Would want see her again but wanted to inspire some further attraction and intrigue. but didn’t want to appear needy at all. Left it from fri nite to Monday night to call. Planned some fluff talk eg.ask her about her weekend and invite her out.

CONCLUSION SO FAR ;
cant believe how much it means to a girl if a guy phones rather than texts. Amazing. i now understand it.

Phoned her as planned Monday night went to voicemail left “hi just phoning to see how you weekend went? Phone you later then”

4 hours later phoned, same response this time i left 'just phoning for a chat, give us a call/txt sometime' yes i was pissed off and spirits were low. Fuck her. Got me wondering what the fuck do i have to do????? Pathetic as it sounds i'm feeling low - oneitis????

One step forward two back….again. maybe I pick the wrong ones aswell as not gaming correctly but I feel the nightout could not have gone any better and was infact a text book k-close.

Any advice?

_________________
i'm into what you can be, if you want to be.
it's a way of living !

you DLV here huge man..

calling her back four hours later tells her that you are hanging out for her and that you are waiting by the phone hoping that she will call. This should not be the case...
- you are a busy man - you have many women to worry about, not just one - you are important -
you should be very fickle about her calling you, because you lead such a hectic active lifestyle, you try to fit HER in when possible..

i am not adverse to calling a girl back a girl twice, but def not in the same day, maybe a couple of days later....
no dude - the journey to being a PUA is a very very very long one. if you believe it will happen over 6 months - or even 12 months - you are sadly mistaken. There will be many fuck ups, mistakes, bumps - the key is to learn from it!!! - but there will also be some great success' - and after a long time of practice in the field and fuckups - the will slowly become more consistancy.

what about the ross jeffries phone back? when he phones back and says basically this is your last chance to respond? sounds a bit needy to me
basically i now think there should be no more contact until she makes the first step.

_________________
i'm into what you can be, if you want to be.
it's a way of living !

You let her have the power of the relationship. First thing- texting isn't a good idea... ever... That gives her the power. A girl can easily ignore a text and say she never got it or get back to you at her own leisure. Calling is more effective, though a girl can ignore your call, she feels more compelled to answer a phone call and/ or voicemails.

Another thing, never leave more than one message. That lowers your value and makes you needy. You need to act like you have been hanging out with 3 other girls this week and she is just 1 in the mix. You need to act towards her like she isn't that important. Make her want to be important to you.

Lastly, you played the second date well. After second dates, you should assume that you have it in the bag and just wait for her to contact you.

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-Love, Charity, and Esteem-

Have to disagree with you here Apollo. If you got skills in texting and follow some basic guidelines, texting can be better than phoning. When texting, I usually get a date-close within 6-7 texts.
to show some example, here is one from me and one from Sean at PU101

Xen: Hey
HB8: Hi cutie, what are you doing?
Xen: watching two birds soar around eachother, really sweet =)
HB8: Hihi
Xen: I wonder if they always lived in that tree or if they are recently moved in neighbours.
HB8: Yeah, well that can be sorta hard to find out.
Xen: You know, we should play birdwatchers some day, then we can go and interview them and se how its really like
HB8: Haha sure thing, Im in!
HB8: I gotta go now having dinner with my parrents tonight, but can I call you later?
Xen: Sure , got coffee plans
HB8: Oh , well then maby I won't interupt, I can se what the clock is though.
Xen: No no silly, I meant with you.
HB: Ah haha, Ill call you after dinner then. Kiss

Did this sort of lines several times, although this one has some misstakes, they worked all the time but one, cause she was just complaining about her work and so on, so I called her after a few texts and got her to ask me out that way instead.

Sean: Hey sexy. How is my adorable little brat?
A: Haha…just fine! And u?
Sean: Great! The sun is finally out, spring is in the air, I love it!
A:It was 86 here today! Its gonna be a hot summer.
Sean: You like it hot?
A: I like it warm and breezy
Sean: Hmmm… Interesting… Says a lot about you. So when I call later, are you gonna answer? I can't believe I even have to ask…

[note: I had called twice and she didn't answer both times, but she sent me texts back apologizing for not being able to talk]

A: Haha..call @ 1030 and i will answer
Sean: That's past my bedtime. I'll have to call my mom for permission.
A: Dork
Sean: Ah, baby, I love you too.
A: Call me @ 1030..i should be done by then
Sean: If you're not, I'm filing for divorce
A: Haha..u make me smile
Sean: Yup. Talk later.

This talk is something that you should look at, since you messed up a bit with calling to her Voice Mail twice ...

the basics is to keep in short (12-20) words, CF method, Dont use leet speak spell correctly, Use rich despriptions,example: (Sean: Great! The sun is finally out, spring is in the air, I love it!) (Xen: watching two birds soar around eachother, really sweet =) ), instead of just saying im fine thanks or similar. Use happy faces to underline the feeling you are going after.

There are some more to it but as you get used to it, you can calibrate it on your own.

If I were in your shooes I would prolly text her, but giving her the chance to call you back first, though I sorta doubt that she is gonna. When texting your first mess, at the end, sign with your name. this only goes for the first mess you send to a person.

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Why stay we on earth, but to grow