Hi Guys,

I'm new here, but I've been around as a PUA for a while. I'm maintaining a healthy sex-life as it is, and I think myself a pretty decent PUA.

Still, I'm not sure what to think about something that just occurred. I just don't understand... I would very much like your perspective.

Quicky-factsheet about me:
20 y/o, student in The Netherlands, social, open minded.

The case:
A few weeks back I was at at a studentparty for my studies. A few girls in my workgroup had asked me to come, so I decided to check it out. I went there alone, and when I got in, I immediately got attention of some of the girls.

It was an absurd evening in every aspect. Because I had gotten a bit more serious with another girl I was dating I couldn't really do anything besides party.. A HB9,HB8 and another HB8 kept buying me drinks, pooring their beers into my glass, flirting with me, touching etc.

Until at one point the HB9 and 8 who were dancing with me, pushed me into a corner and asked me if I wanted to kiss them both simultanuously.. :O. I said that I was flattered, but that it didn't sound like a good idea to me.. (how the hell does one kiss 2 girls at the same time anyway?). And I told them I was seeing someone, which, at the time I was. They talked to me for a little while longer to get me to agree anyway, but I didn't do it.

When I told the other HB8 I had to go home soon (work the next morning), she said: nooo, you stay! you can sleep at my place! Again I told her blabla girlfriend, blabla. She insisted anyway.. I ended up making out with her just before going home (ok, that might make me an asshole, but after such a night and all that beer...).

I enjoyed that, and at a party a week or so later, we made out again. And she asked about my GF, who I broke up with (it wasnt going anywhere anyway..)

Ok so im reaching the conclusion of my story, hang on

Tonight we had a 'nintendo-night' planned at my place (me, the HB8, a HB7.5 and a HB6.5). I had foreseen that the HB6.5 wouldnt be able to make it, and I wasnt surprised the 7.5 wasnt going to make it either.

I talked to the HB8 about it and we agreed we didnt like how the other 2 had bailed. I spoke to her on the phone and told her she should still come over. She made a few subtle references to staying at my place, so I reckoned the cat was in the bag.. (also considering what had already happened between us)..

She told me she would phone me back about it, that she was trying to still get in touch with the 6.5.

I waited. no callback. called her, no response. WTH?
so I reckoned she had wasted her opportunity of having dinner with me, I ate dinner.

Now she is talking to me on msn, telling me she feels like an idiot because she fell asleep ( " :(:(:(:(:(:(" ). And that the HB6.5 called her, that she had forgotten (no shit) and that we should really plan another time.

I told her that they would be cooking for me instead, because they had something to make up. She is telling me now, that she would arrange the dessert in that case (???). Again making subtle references to liking me and whatnot. What is wrong with her. All talk and no action or ?

My issue:

What the hell? she obviously didnt fall asleep (or?). but why the change of mind, why invite me to her place, and then later act like this?
Any idea guys?

I feel i can still F-close her, maybe she was just not comfortable right now, idk.

????

OK.

Part two. Need help here people.

I met her again a few times after the first story and during one class she texted me if i wanted to go for a sandwich with her.

Before we even went for a sandwich she suggested we go to my place (we had about 2 hours time before we both had something to do). I said, nahh maybe later, cause time was just too short (and all my roommates were at home). + she doesnt get a bicy until next week.

So we went for a sandwich, talked. she asked again about my gf, and I told her we broke up definitely. She wanted to talk about what kind of girls I find attractive and wanted to know out of 2 of her friends who I would pick to kiss with. And she told me that between me and another guy she knows quite well, she would definitely pick me. Oh well.

Later on we were sitting on a bench on Neude, chilling out. We were kinoing and what else, and I'd thought I'd tease her (it wasn't a kiss-moment then). So I asked her, do you want to kiss me.

She: Ehh, huh what eehh ehhh.. no?.
Me: Oh, ok. you DON'T want to kiss me?
She: well ehh, i dont know. err. i've never been asked this question by a guy before!
Me: ok, so you DO want to kiss me, and at this point I leaned in (mind I was not planning on actually kissing her, doing it in a joking fashion).
she: well ehh nooo, nooo. why do you ask something like that, you're supposed to just do it.
Me: oh ok, so I guess I won't ask again.
She: well, dont do thaat! i wouldnt like that..
bla bla bla

Then later she said we should go out that night, near where she lives, i could stay with her. So. I reckoned everything was aye-okay.
We spent some more time together, had fun and went our seperate ways for the rest of the day.

I called her that evening after dinner at around 7 pm, phone rang and no answer. I texted her wether she had fallen asleep again. No reply.

I reckoned it was the same old junk over again, so I went out with a mate of mine instead, got a bit drunk and k-closed some random HB7.5.

Thing is I still want to f-close this chick. and I know she wants to as well. but what the hell is with the not responding to my call and text.. AGAIN?

I woke up this morning expecting at least a text-message or a missed call, but NOTHING.

What am I doing wrong ??????!?!!

She is practically begging you by the way it sounds...

JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Don't talk about kissing... JUST KISS HER ALREADY.

She's flaking on you because you aren't pulling the trigger when she's giving you PLENTY of opportunity to do so.

Now go make it happen before she gives up on you entirely.

Good luck!

I found out what I did wrong.

ofcourse you have a point hotdamn, i should just go for it, but I have to get the right opportunity at the right moment in the right place (my place or hers )

Thing is, I was so busy DHV, negging that I totally forgot that I was past that stage, I never got around to showing genuine interest, complimenting and what else. In effect she probably thought I was just interested in her to sleep with her.

So I texted her something along the lines of: 'hey, i really enjoy spending time with you, and if im right the feeling is mutual. So it's too bad we keep missing eachother in the weekends. I want to go and do something together. Let's grab a movie today or tomorrowevening. Xx'

I got a really positive sms back saying how she appreciated my message, and that she had time tomorrowevening and really looked forward to seeing me. So if all goes well i can finally close this girl tomorrow!


What I've learned from this: Don't forget to come across as genuinly interested at some point, if a girl is already interested in you. Or she will engage Anti Slut Defense, thinking you're just another guy trying to get into bed with her. Show positive, definitive interest and stop negging all the time. At some point, negging becomes negative.

I will let you know about tomorrownight!

Guys like you is the reason why girls find PU a terrible thing.

You pretend to be genuinely interested in her and tell her all this bs without actually meaning it just to get laid.

The difference between successful guys that want a relationship or just to be happy with a certain girl in their life is that they actually love women.

It seems to me that she was really into you but then down shifted some gears! That night she wanted to get in your pants and was purly worked in Seduction Mode. However, not sleeping with her showed you had morals so that's good!

The reason why she's asking about your gf situation is because she's just making sure that you're not lying to her and it's a shit test. So, she's giving you an IOI - plus she wants to get to know you more which is another IOI. So, she kinda feels bad for acting like a slut so that's why she wne tdown a couple of gears to slow down the process a bit. She's not ditching you it's just the remorse of if anything happened between you. You know?

Also, if she wants you to kiss her then kiss her- don't ask because that's not considerablly PUA. It sounds like she's really into you just kiss her man - don't ask and whatever. She's testing your limits of being a real man and therefore she already told you that she doesn't liked to be asked if a guy to be kissed.

If you can successfully recover this then big time kudos and congrads! I had to do some damage control sometimes - some worked sometimes it doesnn't. Good luck and keep us posted - we're here to help!

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

My official underground website

http://f4fc0878.linkbucks.com

I never said I'm not interested in this girl. I find her hugely attractive, and she's nice. I just don't want a relationship is all. It's not that I 'just' want to sleep with her. But since I know she wants to, I want to. And if we both want it, is that abusing PU?

No. It's achieving mutual goals through succesful communication.

If I make it clear to her that I don't want a relationship, it is her choice to either stick with me, or not.

I don't make things up. I don't ever lie. I hate lying. I just communicate in a way I know will attract her. Is it a crime to use communication that is proven to be succesful to your advantage? If the tools for a job are there I would use them..

Um bro just cut the crap, put your face in there and kiss her. Seriously. You're not friends with her...either she'll respond positively which i am 99% positive about, or she'll be like no thanks, and you'll never talk to her again. But there is absolutely no middle ground on this, just do it.

We're all here trying to work on getting laid, right? So do it

I think next time you see her,the second you see her, go in and just do it. Right on the spot. No hello, no small talk, fuckin hook up with her

_________________
-Bronco

"I'm like a dog chasing a car; if I ever caught it I don't think I'd know what to do with it" - Heath Ledger as The Joker

Girl in question is just mindfucking me. So now, I'm mindfucking her. It's a long story, maybe I will end up with her one night, maybe not.. Anyway, the point is that right now she is still in to me, hoping something becomes of it

Frankly I don't care about her anymore. She's being too difficult and SPAM I just f-closed a nice HB7.8 anyway, and got a few HB8's in the fridge.

Thing I learned: Don't get too needy, if you start pouring in too much effort and sweetness, the girl backs down. As soon as I stopped doing that, her attention was back 100%, she was asking me for massages, going to my place in between classes, going out. Random phonecalls.

I'm just ignoring her for now, see what happens. Thanks for the help in here!