Why do I have such a hard time coming up with even one one-liner? Even on the shit test thread, I would never come up with those responses, and there hella funny w/o making you look like a tool.

Am I not creative enough? I'm pretty witty, on occasion. I just want to be able to think on my feet and fire back, like snapping my fingers, but at the same time not look like I'm frustrated, pissed off, or anything.

Like for example, one bitch at a club, ask me am I bored, cause I ain't hooking up with anybody/wall flower--obviously that's why she's asking, just rubbing it in. I'm like/thinking you don't need to ask me. WTF? But I had no come back, I just stand there taking it. I hate shit like this. And this example was like 10 years ago.

I just want to be on all the time (have game). It's enjoyable/empowering when I can put a bitch in her place, w/o me looking like the bad guy.

Inner game. Make yourself comfortable in any situation.

When entering a club or something, talk to everyone as if they were already your friend. Internalize in your head that "this is MY house, these are MY friends." You have to have the frame that you aren't there to 'pick up,' you are there to have fun and everyone there wants to have fun with you.

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There are no failures, only feedback.

Honestly, a lot of being "quick on your feet" means having a sharp wit, but just as importantly, it requires practice. GETTING OUT THERE and building up comfort and experience is the key first step. However, it is also helpful to think up snappy one-liners every now and then or picking them up on sites like this and keeping them in the back of your head so you can bust them out when the need arises. For instance, if you're short, have a few good contextual comebacks ready for that. The reality is, a lot of the snappy comebacks you quoted probably weren't just made up with right on the spot and out of the blue - they probably heard them before or had time to put them together from their own experience. Over time, it gets easier to adapt these as the situation calls for it, but you'll also find it's a lot easier to act naturally and not rely on "canned material".

Think of it like boxing: you never know what punches the other guy is going to throw at you or how he's going to be moving away from your punches, so there's a ton of improvisation and quick thinking involved. However, boxers spend YEARS in the gym practicing techniques over and over, so when fight night comes, they just adapt that knowledge to the circumstances. Eventually, rehearsing this stuff just comes naturally.

Haha, now I feel better: I've finally managed to throw in boxing analogy to another facet of life - one of my quirks is to make some weird-ass comparisons so I can talk about my favourite sport

Thanks! Club was one example. I remember other situations from years ago.

One, as I took out my jacket, girl comments something smells. I know I
wasn't smellin, I felt she was saying it just to alpha me; call me out with somethin false; embarass me.

Another, in a social psychology class, mostly females, apparently I look funny, I don't think I'm retarded looking, but girl pretty much proceeds to talk about me without actually talking about me, for all to hear. Maybe I'm sensitive, but sometimes I think you know when somebody is talking about you.

Man, if memory serves me their face right, I have no problem giving payback if I ever run into them. There are those who do you wrong, but you don't hate them because maybe it's your fault, then there are those who do you wrong but you have no idea what you did to deserve it.