I'm a bit confused about when to show a girl that u have a sexual interest in her. There doesn't seem to be a consensus in the PUA community on this one. In my experience (as a AFC) I find it very difficult to give any statements of intent, and I feel this is why I'm not getting anywhere. Mystery says that you should wait for the right moment to make an SOI, but I figure that that tactic would work for a guy like him but not for me. To be honest, any female who gets a smoothtalking peacock like Mystery chatting to them is going to sus immediately that he wants to fuck them. As for me, a slightly nervy, soft-spoken, very polite, soft-faced guy, I think its not so obvious, and I think the ambiguity of the situation does confuse the females I'm talking to. Does anyone have any advice as to when u should make the SOI, and if the time differs according to your personality and looks?

ya, I have a very similar concern. my face and personality say I am a well educated, polite and courteous guy and I don't know exactly when to show sexual interest. in fact, the shift may seem to drastic given my usual way of talking to girls.
Sorin, Snow, or any of the advanced members, please theow some advice in here.

Well, try on direct game for a little while. Hell, get rid of the polite thing, its a major turn off (believe me, I know).

Ever heard the saying "Nice guys finish last"? Point proven. I'd say first get rid of the polite meak identity. PUA is about reinventing your exterior and then your interior. If you have good kino, you shouldn't have to make an SOI, she should just be IOIing you like nuts until you go for a kiss close.

I'd say to go open a set, and after you run a routine or two, just ask "So, which of you is going to fuck me tonight?". Completely seriously, if you are lucky, a girl may say she will, but most times they will just walk away. If they stay, its an SOI and you have already made your intent clear.

Another thing to do is to just flirt in a CF style right off the bat. Say things like you two are going out. I can't remember the last time we had sex... etc. Go out one day and forget all of your manners, BE AN ASS.

Remember, you are doing this to try to shead your nice guy exterior. Once you have a girlfriend or strong inner game you can try to AFC it up with being nice.

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K.

kurent, i like your suggestion, but i have one worry aobut it. lets say one night you go out on the town with some friends with the intent of getting ride of your nice guy mentality. you completely forget all your manners and make an ass of yourself. im sure it would be fun as hell and your buddies would all have a good time but i worry about the impact it would have on the rest of the people in the club youre in.

i know as a possible way to avoid cold approaches you could just approach one or two groups of people in a bar or club and meet everyone in the group. just stay and establish strong connections and then eject and talk to your other friends for the rest of a while. then walk around again and find the people you met earlier, by now they will be in a new circle talking to new people. this gives you an easy entry into the new group to meet new people. by doing this over and over aagain you can meet all sorts of new people and have to do hardly any cold approaches.

so by the same ticket i would worry about people thinking you are a complete ass, and this would work in the opposite way for social proof. you go to a set of people to do a cold approach but what if one of the people you were already rude to was in the set? they are going to be gunning for you to shoot you down and knock you out of the group.

am i just being paranoid or does this sound reasonable? how would you avoid this while still working on dropping the nice guy demenor?

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i dont know why i have these goggles.

Hmmm. I just came back from going for drinks with two sisters and the one I was hitting harder knows me for a while and she kinda commented I was being a bit mad or rude to today. I said stuff like "go ask for more mustard yourself honey, those nice legs are for more than looks" and I tried to neg her by saying she was just too thin and that I may need to take her to a restaurant where they really use lots of potatoes. I dunno, cocky and funny worked, and also got to dismiss a couple of other guys, but at the end of the day I feel unsatisfied. No IOI's whatsoever, we sat on a place where there was a tv playing msic videos and she positioned herself as to watch the tv and have her sister beside her instead of me. She was looking to other places as I was talking to her sister, and her legs were crossed opposite to me. Few eye contact as well.

geez, I improved a bit on the polite guy thing but I got nothing anyways, she is not into me I can tell.

damm!

you probably should have just slapped her when she said you were being mean...haha, no im just kidding....but thats a good point. if you are trying to do cocky funny and the girl comments and says you are being mean/cocky....do you make a joke, make fun of them and then change the subject? or do you appologize and try to be nicer? i know i know you arent suppose to say yoursorry, but if the girl thinks you are being an ass showing a bit of sincerity might not hurt

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i dont know why i have these goggles.

Mad Gecko, man, I just ingored the comment with a gesture like "oh, you are exagerating, gimme a break" sort of thing. I felt tempted to say I did't mean to be rude but I have to keep my shit together and stick to the plot.
I just finished reading stuff from DeAngelo's and I am definetly in the Provider/Succesful-stable guy who according to Dave gets no sex but is expected to prove he will stay for long. Damm, it's hard to change from one to the other. I am sticking to this one but I am also starting all over with other girls I am seeing.

cheers to all.

thanks for the advice. I haven't got the confidence yet to be cock funny. I think if you go up to girls and say directly that you want to fuck them, surely you have to have 100% confidence, the slightest tremor in your voice and they'll think you're a creep. However I picked up on the advice to flirt more and I've managed to give my first ever SOI today, and to a russian definate 10. After chatting for about 15 minutes I sensed she was starting to lose interest (the typical experience for me), but then I just mentioned the fact that her earring was really sexy and she suddenly came to life again and 10 minutes later I had her email and number! Telling a girl shes wearing a sexy earring might not sound a big deal even to other newbies here, but it was a breakthrough for me, and its led to me getting a number close from one of the most beautiful women I've seen in my life. For the first time I'm really convinced all this PUA shit works!!!!

whitesnake,

good job on the number close with the russian, make sure to see her out again, i hear those ex soviets are panthers in the sack....

as far as the SOI is concerned, i agree with kurent's advice on playing your set cocky funny. it is an easy way to show and elude without a major shift in your play. if you are having some trouble getting started, use some simple lines that boast a little about yourself.

HB9: so what do you do for a living?
whitesnake: i deal with stocks, bonds and asset allocation, NO BIG DEAL

HB9: so your drinking a tang-ten and tonic huh?
whitesnake: yeah i only drink top shelf, i'm a baller like that

in my experience I have found that lines like this said with a slight laugh and smile are easy and effective.


Not too sure where this was mentioned, but the concern over the CF being mean/rude is pretty simple to play off. First, try not to be so insulting, maybe in the course of your routine you said something that offended them but you didn't mean to. A bold statement from left field might come off stronger than you intended if it doesn't fit well with what you've built on. But if you build enough comfort with them, you would be surprised at how far you can push. Should they ever accuse you of being a dick, say something like "Geez I was just trying to have fun with you, can't you take a joke?" Just make sure you smile when ya say it.

just my .02

-orion

thanks again for all the good advice. Giving early statements of intent is definately helping me. I've gone from zero results to getting a number or e-mail close every time I've managed it (four times the last week). Apart from the fact that it helps clear confusion in the woman's mind, seeing her eyes sparkle when I tell her she's sexy gives me a whole heep of confidence to keep going.

Going back to Mystery's advice to delay showing sexual interest, I would assume in his case this is a form of neg hit or cat-string theory. As I said, any girl who isn't clueless must intuit that as soon as he walks up to her he has got sex on his mind. So him delaying the SOI is a way of intriguing her, mayby making her ask herself if she is coming across as frigid for him not to have made a move. But in my case and for the average gamer, I would have thought an early SOI would certainly help things along. I also think I should improve my sexual game before I'm bold enough to boast to a hot babe that I'm going to give her the best fuck of her life or anything, otherwise I'm just setting myself up for a big humiliation.

When I said to go out and be an ass, I did not mean it in on a day2. I should have said that being an ass is good to remove your nice-guy stigma (I like that word). When out on a day2, the game is on, stick to what you know is tried and true.

As to being CF, I like to constantly banter with the girls, I'll call her chubby, but in a playful tone. I wont be chauvenistic about it. If a girl is upset, I comfort her, not tell her that she should go fuck some random guy to make herself feel better. Be a nice guy only after you ahve a CF air.

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K.

After you open the group and you have everything going okay try to DHV to a girl then try to get some kino (plam reading any stuff that involves kino) and then you can try to isolate or any close...

Remember you talk more with your body than with your mouth....

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What you are asking about is called a "Statement of Interest," in Juggler Method, and its timing can be crucial. Really, it has nothing to do with what you say, but when you say it, and how.

An SOI comes as part of a relate/reward cycle. Whenever she says something you find particularly attractive, let her know. If she says something intellectual, tell her "I find intelligent women very sexy." If she says something fun, cocky, playful, wise, or whatever you find sexy in a woman, tell her you find that thing sexy. Use that exact word. Sexy is worth 25 of your next best word, and 50 of "hot."

Accompany an SOI with escalation. For instance, if she tells you a funny joke, the sequence could look like this:

HB: Funny joke.
You: Ha ha ha. You know, I find a sense of humor really sexy. Come sit with me.

Don't show ANY SOI. Work on your inner game first man. One of the most powerful things a man can do is get a girls attention, get her started, then walk away in disapproval. You have to act like the dude that gets all the girls, even though you don't have any.

Your initial thought is, damn this girl is hot, she sexy, i want to bang her, how do i express this? DON'T initiate. Flirt, if she does initiate, do some kino, throw a leg up and relax and tease her on her initiation.

actually SOIs are good but only after she is attracted to you! so that would be A3 in Mystery Method.