Hi .. well here´s the deal.. there´s this HB9 that I´ve been fooling around with some in the past, never all the way wich is a wonder since the sexual tention always is there. She has a BF now since almost 2 years, but the only time I´ve ever heard her speak of him is when shes complaining how bad he treats her , and how she doesn´t understand why she´s still with him.

She calls me up a saturday night saying that she´s at some girls birthdayparty and wants to go out and party with me, I can even decide where where all the 9-10 ladies should go. So I tell them to go to a very popular club and that Ill prolly meet up with them there later. after about 2-3 hours my friends and I roll over from the bar we´ve been at to that place. At this time she didn´t think that I would come so she was happy.

We sit down and smalltalk some, and after a little while I move back to my friends.. takes a little while then she comes back to me,, we talk some more. My friends thinks it getting late and wants to leave but we decide to go and dance some first.. after a little while on the dancefloor me and the HB starts to dance a bit dirty.. A friend grabs my shoulder and says that they´re all leaving and if I wanna join now is the time.. So I just take a leap , press her up against a wall and start making out with her. " Me: It was nice seeing u again" pulls away and head for the exit.

After a quick chat with my friends I decide to stay "ofcourse" and so I go to the bar and get myself something to drink. 5 min give or take, she calls saying something like "OMG I can´t believe that u just left are u stupid .. why did you leave?? something something" at this moment I se her talking to the phone,, so I interupt her telling her to look to the left and then hangs up. She sees me and comes on strong. after we kiss some she gives me the question "wanna go to my place" "okey" she just gonna tell her friends thats she´s leaving..

A gfriend of hers is also leaving with some dude, and they take the only cab available. I ask her wether to stay and w8 for the next cab to come, or walk some and take the bus, wich takes 5 min longer. She decides that we take the bus. When we´re almost at the station she turns all sad and blue
HB: Will u be really sad if u cant come home with me tonight?
Me: Why do u ask that?
HB: I just dont think I can do this while im still together with BF, hope ull understand,, im really sorry..

Don´t remember what I replied here.. but thinks went out of control and I didn´t follow her home. "some part of me really respects that she doesnt wanna do that to her BF , then again the entire night sparkles flew and 1 of her Gfriends told me sometime during the night that the HB had said a comment like "Im so gonna break up with my BF." With all that in mind, it just felt like a LMR or something. something to say to keep her dignity.
How do i get passed this??
I call her 2 days later and we talk for about a hour. (really nice talk btw) . I tell her that I wanna see her later this week but that she can call me tomorrow or the day after and we´ll be more specific then. 2 days later I get a mess saying something like.
"Hi, I'm sry i didnt call u but i sorta freak out in this situations. dont know if im ready to se u, but maby ill give u a call when u least expects it, kiss"

How did it come to this ?

I really wanted something good to happen with me and this girl.. really like her and now I blew it completly?..


Ps. sry if this post is really long , very new to all of this, dont really know what to cut out.

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Why stay we on earth, but to grow

hey man... crazy story... it ain't easy when she has a dude that she knows she can count on and also not have to work for... I am new to this shit but wanted to give it a shot and see what you think...

she is probably all confused and doesn't know what to do... when someone is in this state they usually don't want to break something because change is tough... I think the ignoring stage is kinda done with... you can't keep on ignoring her... she might just push you out of the picture...

you have played it well.. and I think where it got weird was when she recognized that she was going to go home with another dude... that hit home to her and she freaked...

take it slow... call her up and play it like you are starting over with her and just want to have a good time... nagg her... make her laugh... get to know her... it doesn't need to be all serious... like a lot of things the anticipation of change like this for her is greater then the event... if things get tension filled and you feel that you should say something... tell her that you do respect her but have to much of a good time with her... feel it out... remember that she does like you... and wants u... but shes a good peerson... thats a good thing... let me know what you think.

Yeah I also think thats when it got weird for her,, you got any idea of how you can avoid that ?

I spoke with her some over the msn, and played it cool, but I think that the ship has sunk. She got cold feet from the thought of giving up 2 years and I guess my game wasn't tight enough.

I asked if we just could hang out 1 day and take like a walk in the park / a coffee or something, but she didn't want to. When I asked why she said
"Well to be honest with you, It's because I like you to much and now it feels like cheating every time I even talk to you in the phone, thats why I didn't call you.

Anyway to recover from this point or should I just let it be :S ?

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Why stay we on earth, but to grow

Wow... She said that!!! Now I see that as a shit test... if you back down then she just thinks that you wanted to get laid and thats it... but if you really like this girl then don't back down... but don't be over the top... give her her space but get her thinking even more... Tell her that you understand but don't want to let this go... if you feel the same... let her think about it... Call her on the phone... to writing... then back away... you don't want to be to aggressive... but its worth a shot... thoughts?

Yah I totally saw that as a shit test to. At first I played sorta cocky funny, but it got to the point where it became a really serious conversation. She asked things like "what do you really feel about me, you really like me or u just want to get laid?!"
At this point I got serious and said the first thing that came to my mind "well u have a special place with me" (duno if i translated this correctly) anyways tried to tell her i thought she was something special. but I had been so cocky funny all of the time when we spoke, so she just and told me that it was a vague and crappy answer. I said something like, If you dont think that was a good answer then meet up with me, lets hang out for a day, take some coffee and a strole in a park, then maby youll se what I feel.

Cant really remember what happend next, but Im not the guy who spills all my emotions out over the web, where I cant even se the girl and se her emotional respons, so I pushed the subject over to something else and the conversation went lighter afterwards. But we didnt go on that "date"..

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Why stay we on earth, but to grow

Nice moves... remember that you want to have fun with her and if you want to get serious it ain't going to be over IM... she scared and doesn't know what to do... a two year thing with a dude is a long time... try your best to make her feel more calm and comfortable... that it isn't so serious... and that the two of you hardly really know each other but have alot of fun... be as calming as possible and show her that its easy and fun to be around you.

Great job, but plow through those shit tests and LMR with style man. She said that she couldn't take you home because she didn't feel right, yet you were making out on the dancefloor. She had already crossed the line and cheated! Remember, women may say one thing, but if you read their bodies and actions, you'll get a totally different, TRUE story.

Yeah man, I know that she was just throwing shit test, but thats the 1 test that I never seem to be able to pass. U got any idea on how to respond in such a situation like that ? would help alot for future struggles.

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Why stay we on earth, but to grow

I have to say this is by far one of the best post I've read in a while.

And I agree, she has already crossed a line by making out with you. She could possible feel guilty about that or not, who knows.


I know a girl like this, she has a boyfriend that treats her like shit, puts up with it, and yet still cheats on him when the opportunity arises. Do you know the guy personally? If so, DHV yourself, don't completely start bagging on him because that will offend her. Make her laugh, and point out obvious things.


If you honestly like her and aren't trying to game her then its worth your time. But I've seen some good girls go through some shit and I would never game them even if the opportunity came up.



Keep your head clear and eyes open, thats the best advice I can give.

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Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

Just play it cool, if she likes you then she will come to you with no BF baggage. If not, then she isn't worth your time anyway because she completely lead you on while she had a BF...

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I like vagina.

A classic problem. It does sound like youre getting into this pretty deep, emotionally? I wanna ask you is it just a set, or are you looking for something more?

Either way one of the most important things to remember is to controll your emotions, I agree with playing it cool, but as it is right now shes really in charge. She calls the shots.

Still youre in a good position and so far you have played youre shit preety well. She admits liking you, which is a great opportunity to play the jealousy card, show her that youre not just sitting around waiting for her.

Got some experience with a similar kind of situation and it dragged out for two years on and of (you really dont want that). Made a lot of errors but learnt alot from it. This is for example why I know that playing another girl preferably while the target is at the same party, is a safe game. She will probably be upset, but that only tells you its working. The worst thing you can do is to let her stay in controll and call the shots.

If you ever come to a situation similar to the bus once again, keep cool. One line that has worked for me is to look her in the eyes and tell her a story about how youve been thinking about life, how short is (make youre own personal twist), and how you have concluded that if you want something good in life, and you have the possibility to have it if only for one night you should take that opportunity. Lifes to short to waste it.

I know a cliche, but with sincerity it creates a tense moment, and you stand out as this special guy whos gonna give her that special night which she might only experience once. And thats whats the games all about.

Thanks all for posting ur thoughts =)

Well, I let this girl go.

@ ease, this girl is prolly the top 3 I've dated. She is almost a 10, hmm she prolly is a 10, since shes a model and all. Anyway this girl drives me crasy, and we've known eachother for 2 years also.. (with a break of 1 year somewhere in the middle) , knowing eachother for that long, we know how to trigger eachother and lol, she knows "game" in and out.

But she became sort of a one-itis, lol i notised that on saturday the same week I got the mess.. I went out with 2 HB(8,8.5) and a friend, and to make a long story short, in the end I found myself at this HB(8.5) house and she wanted me to spend the night with her.. and I didnt want to.. just kept thinking of the other HB9-10. took me freakin 2 hours to get home :S ...

Well, I don't want those emotions to a girl that isn't sure 101% that she wants me with body and soul. Even though I do think that she wants me, she needs to be able to act a bit aswell, since I don't have the knowledge on how to make all the work solo, and duno if I even want to do that.

Somewhere I made a misstake and it costed me much. But hey U live and you learn. but the thing is that I cant put my finger on is what I should learn from this. At the bus I didnt run 100% smooth game, and maby 2 years of relationship made its part aswell.

Edit: Oh, don't think that she would go for that cliché stuff. Unless you put it forward in a really really good way. Think you gotta work yourself around the problem even before it occurs. But since I failed at that I guess next time it happens, I gotta use a bit more ingenuity and come up with something mind-numbing. Still have 0 idea on waht to say to do that though , hope lightning will strike.

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Why stay we on earth, but to grow

lesson learned you dont get 2 wrapped in emotion..she sinced you had the same feelings and backed up because lets just say she did dump her man and started getting serious with you...she dont want you to ever use that over her head..you showed signs of commitment potential..i think she wanted it and u pulled back on the shit test when she asked do you mind if i didnt take you back to my place..that was da true shit test..when u said cool and didnt have objections she felt that respect and good boy nature...congrats on the new women but like i say if u never fail u never know how to react to it when it comes back up again..And if you want this too work what i would do is use the gf approach..How you know have a girl u just met and how u want some advice on how to pursue..she will act as if she dont mind but if she is into to you she will be asking questions about her..how she look, and where you meet so have your shit down..Then later what you do is ask her out to take your mind off things and talk about how things arent working out had a big fight, then do the same shit she did...she used a method on you the 1st time u shit test her and see if she fails of course she will cause you want her 2...hope this works good luck my friend