Okay, so for a little background, a friend of mine invited me to go with her and some friends (who all seem to have bfs) roller skating at a local rink. The rink is a landmark in my small city and so I decided to go, after all I hadn't gone skating there in years. I got there and realized that there was a 5 or 6 set that kept splitting up into 3 smaller groups. And, there was an HB 8.5-9.0. "I haven't been sarging in a while." I thought to myself and approached the set. Trying to follow the 3 second rule I ended up using a situational opener and used the hair neg on the HB. I got 2 iois and realized "it was on". Before I could escalate the rink was cleared for racing. I decided to race and win for dhv. Well, participants received a free soda so I devised a plan. I tried to push-pull by holding it out in front of her and 2 of her friends. I said, "I don't drink pop, do you want it?" the target grasped for it and so I said, "Whoa, I was talking to these 2, I didn't mean you." "You're mean." She replied seriously as she skated away. I was sunk, I had no idea how to recover this and so I tried to keep gaming by befriending the rest of the set but it was too late, and I'd used too much C&F. My friends (whom I felt like I'd ignored) left and so I decided to try one last ditch effort. When it came time for "couples skate" I said to the target "well, I need to find someone cool to skate with, but I guess you'll be fine." "No thanks" she replied and skated away with some other guy, not realizing how shot-down I felt. Ah, yet again I end a night without any close whatsoever. But, all the same I got practice, besides I wouldn't have called her anyway she was too young for me.

I realized that this could be a serious problem so I'm wondering if anyone can give me some effective ways to deal with negs that go too far.

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All the world is a stage, but the play is badly cast!
-Oscar Wilde

I'll start by saying that it's much easier to come back from being thought of as an asshole than being thought of as low-value pushover.

Also, keep in mind that 95% of the time, a girl saying "you're so mean" (or something along those lines) is a good thing. They're waiting to see if you apologize (a form of shit test), but you shouldn't.

Generally speaking, when I neg too hard, I follow it up with a compliment of some sort (without apologizing).

Example:

HB: I work as a waitress.
Hobbs: Wow, what a shitty job.
HB: *looks angry*
Hobbs: It's alright though, some of the coolest girls I know are waitresses.

I calibrate the neg so that it comes off as funny. If I neg too hard, and the girl starts to get pissed off, I'll give a line like, "You don't get out much" or "Oh, wow, you're the only one to react like that, nice, that was a test". My wing Bliss uses "that was a test" a lot. For some reason they pay more attention to thinking if it were really a test than the neg itself.

But definitely agree that her response is a shit test, because she could have just walked away and not say anything. She does want to see how you reply.

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GAME ON!

You seem to not have any natural game at all and are just saying exactly what you've read from books.

Negging is meant to reduce her value. You can't base your entire game around negging and c&f because you have to mix it up a bit.

I ve got a quick question.

Last time I was out it seemed like some of the girls I negged got kind of an embaressed laugh out of it. But I realized that a lot of times I said "oh I'm just kidding" and then to her friend "is she always like this?"

I guess what I'm asking is should I avoid saying "I'm just kidding"?

Thanks

Yes, Avoid saying "I'm just kidding" it's like bailing out and apoligizing saying I didn't really mean it.

Then you also get the rep of oh he's always kidding and no one will take you serious. It gets to the point where it's like say something serious.

This is tough love but I speak from experience so I know the exact situation. Just blow it off if it's too much most the time. Give a little pull if you absolutely need to but don't make it sound like you're apoligizing

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Get Some

It was simply a miscalibrated neg. Honestly the only time I'll neg (and I mean an actual neg, not breaking rapport) is right off the bat or if she's acting high and mighty. I basically only do it if I feel I really need to knock the girl down a peg, if she's being friendly or at least polite there's no need for them.

What happened here though was that she broke rapport with you by snatching for the drink, basically acting high and mighty with the mindset that she can do what she wants. You were right to neg here but the type of neg you chose was miscalibrated.

Instead you could have said "Hey now don't just grab, your to classy for that...why not just try a simple please?" If she responds with something other then please then break rapport again and give her a smaller hoop. If she replies with please you can then give her the drink...or if you want to be bad ass say "No" followed by a quick pause and then "Nah just messin luv, here you go."

The fact that she says please shows she's investing and that you're leading the interaction...also the "no" is an extra break in rapport just for good measure.

Hope this helps

Psych

Hey Gander I felt the same way looking back on it, thanks. Can psych or anyone else comment?

Negs aren't simply to lower the targets value. I use them more for disqualification. Most girls are used to interested guys telling them all the good things about them so I disqualify myself by pointing out imperfections ("nice hair, is it real?").

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All the world is a stage, but the play is badly cast!
-Oscar Wilde

Always stack a routine on top of a neg so that you keep going. If you let them dwell on the neg it's gonna get ugly. I once told a girl that her nose wiggled when she talked, and she covered her face and told her friend "he just said my nose wiggled when I talk!" She made this huge deal about it, and I obviously didn't close.

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All the world is a stage, but the play is badly cast!
-Oscar Wilde

ahh man just keep on going shes testing you. as soon as she says 'your mean' she wants a cuddle and to see that she can actually manipulate you. just give her a cheeky grin and keep rolling never allow a pause straight after a neg apart from the laughter.

i find as long as the delivery is confident with a big smile on your face girls never walk away from a neg no matter how powerful it is