Whats the rule for facebook adding?



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:07 am 
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I met a girl at a party.. We didn't do anything, but she was a pretty cool chick who'd i'd love to get to know. How appropriate or inappropriate is it to add her on facebook? I mean, I don't want to look like a sketch, but at the same time I don't want to just dissappear from her memory. I believe in DHV and stuff like that.... but the fact is, sometimes you just got to put yourself out there and if she's not into you, her loss. Theres plenty of girls out there.

But anyways, you think thats sketchy to add her? She was flirting with me, but she was just a flirty girl all night.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:52 am 
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I just did that with a HB I opened and talked to for about 10 minutes at a bar. Your advantage is that you have the ability to write a message when you add her.

I'd write something like "Hey *her name*--I met you at *so-and-so's* party last night. *write about something positive or humorous you talked about or experienced while in her company*

For example, during our conversation she pointed out her drunk friend to me and mentioned she was going to see a band the next night so I wrote "How was *band name*? Did you babysit your drunk friend again? ;)"

She had me added within the hour. Pretty simple, as long as you had talked about something. Remember to add the winking smiley to cap off your friendly approach. ;)


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:40 am 
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any good generics? I really can't think of much that we talked about, other than the fact that we both live in the same dorm building. Guess I could somehow twist that into something... without sounding creepy about it


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:51 am 
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Don't add her since it shows you cared more about the interaction then her. You live in the same dorm building so chances are you'll run into each other again anyways which builds a ton of comfort, basic propinquity in the AEM.

At the very most I'd leave it to a simple poke which allows her the chance to either ignore it (no investment), reciprocate (low investment), or add you or send a message (high investment). If she doesn't respond with high investment I'd honestly just forget her and not care so much.

If you do message her though, either for practice or experimentation hopefully, go in actively just trying to make a friend and build comfort. This also serves as a false disqualifier which allows enough potential attraction to possibly make something more later. So something you could say is "Hey, had fun meeting you at the party. You seem really friendly! I'm going to be heading to (X place) with some friends in a few days, you should come. Btw do you know why flamingos are pink? (your name)"

The flamingos bit just releaves pressure and allows for some humor and intrigue. The answer to that btw is because they eat blue-green algea (which is actually red in color) however everyone either doesn't know or thinks it's because they eat shrimp.

Hope this helps

Psych


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:09 am 
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lol too late added her. don't care that much anyways. i guess i'll come up with some friendly message for the hell of it, and yea i might run into her. my friend and i were joking about some ideas, including making up a fake inside joke and she'll be like what?? or just saying something completely nonsensical.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:24 pm 
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Reference adding to Facebook:

My current strategy when I meet a HB in a club or bar is to give her a peice of paper and a pencil and make her write down her name. Then I'll say "Your writing is too sloppy" or "You're name is too generic" "I'll never find you! Give me your number" And I'll write it down myself.

You come in under the radar with something less intrusive such as Facebook, but leave with what you wanted because it was a fault of hers and she needs a way to resolve that before you're gone forever. You offer her that solution.

Just be really confident when you do it. Like you don't REALLY care, but it would be decent.

Try it.

_________________
"It is the proper combination of cool plus amazing that equals awesome" - Hollywood.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:31 pm 
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Don't add her since it shows you cared more about the interaction then her. You live in the same dorm building so chances are you'll run into each other again anyways which builds a ton of comfort, basic propinquity in the AEM.

At the very most I'd leave it to a simple poke which allows her the chance to either ignore it (no investment), reciprocate (low investment), or add you or send a message (high investment). If she doesn't respond with high investment I'd honestly just forget her and not care so much.

If you do message her though, either for practice or experimentation hopefully, go in actively just trying to make a friend and build comfort. This also serves as a false disqualifier which allows enough potential attraction to possibly make something more later. So something you could say is "Hey, had fun meeting you at the party. You seem really friendly! I'm going to be heading to (X place) with some friends in a few days, you should come. Btw do you know why flamingos are pink? (your name)"

The flamingos bit just releaves pressure and allows for some humor and intrigue. The answer to that btw is because they eat blue-green algea (which is actually red in color) however everyone either doesn't know or thinks it's because they eat shrimp.

Hope this helps

Psych
that is some great advice right there


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