what's the limit between Negs and just being annoying?



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:06 pm 
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so that's pretty much my question.. in every situation, when i just met her, when it's the second, third, time i talk to her, when i know her from a month... basicly, what's the point or indicators for me to start thinking...

"ok i' might be exceding on the negs, she might start taking it badly.."

i ask because, i don't wanna sound cocky but lately i'm realising i have a natural talent to Neg girls i'm interested in, most of the time getting responses such as

wide eyes + a bit opened mouth with a smile + friendly kino from her + a bit of laugh

so far so good, but i'm afraid of that point, were she starts thinking 'ok you know what? he's talking to much bullshit on me'

as usual, any opinions be welcome


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:55 pm 
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You can actually have great success with women without negging. I only neg when she has her BS up or when she needs to be punished according to punishment/reward. There is a difference between C&F and negging. Neggin shows disinterest while C&F is flirting.

You can keep up C&F throughout the pick-up as long as it's part of your personality. Once you're in comfort, probably best to lighten up a bit on C&F.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:02 pm 
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Completely agree! I use negs to take her BS out and then I go on being annoying. (Or cocky funny...)

How do I get away with it? It is my reality, I am naturally annoying, it is just who I am. If she can not deal with it I consider her weak and she does anything she can to avoid that if my frame is strong enough.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:02 am 
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I think there's a misconception here due to the wrong lingo. You're saying negs but I have a feeling you actually mean breaking rapport.

A neg would be like a backhanded compliment or a statement that subcommunicates your lack of interest. Examples would be "I like your hair but it would look better up/down" and "Oh my god you can dress her up but you can't take her anywhere".

These types of things usually don't create the reaction you described though (wide eyed, playful kino, laughing). Usually the reaction of a well placed neg is either a slight recoil from shock (known as a neg hit), a sudden subtle IOI (such as playing with hair, rapport seeking, sticking out chest), or a congruence test which is also a form of IOI.

What you seem to be talking about is breaking rapport (which funny enough encorporates negs but also much more). This is a good thing and if you're a natural at it power to ya! I'm not exactly sure why you're worried but I'll guess it's because you're worried you might go to far soon...

Here's the thing, every time you break rapport with the girl you re-establish comfort which is the usual structure according to AFC Adam's AEM. By doing this you allow for the break in rapport which helps the spark of attraction and gets you out of the friend zone but you also re-establish the lost comfort since a break in rapport by itself can turn the situation awkward. If she re-establishes even better since then she's investing more.

Now how to know exactly when to break rapport, and how much can you break it before severing it? Well you break it when either A) the interaction is to comfortable and boring B) she breaks rapport with you or C) she engages in an action that's not part of your reality and you don't like, in which case you correct her. As for how to know the difference between breaking rapport and severing it...that's calibration which comes from time in field

Hope this helps

Psych


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