For those of you that don't know, or even care for that matter, I am a waiter and bartender at an upscale seafood restaurant in my town. This observation takes place there, I had it about 3 days ago while working a dinner shift on Saturday night.

First, I'll give you some information regarding the situation and the characters involved. Of course, yours truly was the waiter, as well as an awkward looking young fellow (17-19) and his HB6 date who were sitting at a table in my section. From the second I walked up to the table, his date began to smile at me with more than just a friendly table, and Mr. AFC noticed. She was a pretty girl, but I wasn't about to purposefully steal his date, so I maintained a very professional approach. However, when their date was over, I was cleaning the table and getting my tip (which was 3 dollars on a 50 dollar bill, I guess he didn't like me very well) there was a piece of paper with a name and a number of the girl on her seat. I threw it out, because as I said, I wasn't trying to rain on anyone's first date, even if she wanted me to. The story doesrn't really matter, I just wanted to give you some background to the situation before I give you my observations of this guy and his date.

Observations:

1) The dinner date: First of all, we all should know by now that dinner dates are far from an ideal first date for trying to win over a woman. For more reasons than I feel like naming. Just don't do it. I was looking at the girl the whole time and she just seemed like she had been in the same position of being taken out to dinner so many times. Its not that she had a look of boredom about her, she just unamused and poorly entertained.

2) Posture: I don't know why people don't notice themselves slumping over in a chair. But this kid, looks like a caveman, she was sitting up strait, and looked confident, attractive, and relaxed. While the guy on the other hand, looked like a chump, he looked unsure of himself, small, fragile, and weak. Even if your not the most muscular man there is, sitting and standing with correct posture gives off a positive aura. Sitting with good posture would have given this guy (even if he wasn't inside) a more confidence image in the eyes of his date. Try sitting with poor posture, and then correct it, and take a deep breath. Feel more confident? Look more confident? I think so. Sitting with correct posture also improves your physical looks, your clothes look better and you look younger and more healthy. Also, it improves the tonality of your voice, sitting up strait opens your diaphragm, in turn making you sound better. Don't believe me? Hunch over and listen to yourself while speaking, then sit up strait and do the same. You'll notice the difference.

3) Choice of clothes and grooming: This kid did such a poor job in both of these areas. Not to knock on his style, or his selection of clothes; but he was way over-dressed, and under groomed. These two parts of his appearance created a clashing physical look. He was in khaki pants, with a shirt that barely matched and wasn't even ironed tucked into his pants with a belt on. Instead of wearing dress shoes, which he should of if he was going to wear khakis, he was wearing tennis shoes. In addition to this already skewed appearance, his facial hair was growing in patches that looked like he missed while shaving, and his hair looked like it hadn't been combed in a few days. His entire presentation was messed up, it looked like he wanted to dress up and look good, but failed miserably at pulling it all together. Instead he just looked like someone who doesn't get to go out of the house very often. While his date eclipsed him with a very simple flowing dress on, and some sandals.

4) His tone and conversation control: Though I couldn't really listen to their conversation completely without being some weird ass guy. I paid attention to what I could when I was at the table. While talking, he was speaking very lightly (too lightly) and leaning into her, essentially giving her complete control of the conversation. In addition to this major flaw, when he spoke, his statements and questions were loaded with filler language, things like, "Uhhh..." "Like..." "Yeah..." and other ones of the sort. Next time you hear someone speaking like this, pay closer attention to how bad this sounds.

5) Dinner table manners: If your going to take a girl to get something to eat, which I'm not opposed to under the correct circumstances. This poor kid was ruining his game constantly with his lack of basic proper dinner table manners. His elbows were on the table, he wiped his face with his hand several times, he sneezed right into his hand instead of his napkin or upper sleeve, and dozens of other self-defeating actions.

6) His choice of food: If your going to take a girl to a nice restaurant for a first date, please make sure you're not ordering applesauce and french fries with your 25 dollar exotic fish. It just shows a lack of maturity. Theres nothing wrong with a plate of french fries at a diner or run-of-the-mill place, but this is a fancy seafood restaurant. Know your surroundings, and align yourself to them correctly.





Thats all for now, just a few things I observed while I was working, this isn't meant to insult the AFC in any way, I just thought that subtle things like this need to be discussed and analyzed. Hope this helps someone.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

meth - man, this is awesome, i notice similar things at the bar i frequent. (its hardly work)
the pecking the AFC's spending £10-20 a round for him and his girl AND their freinds, then they talk between themselves and leave the poor sap all alone.
guys tryin to hard, guys not tryin hard enough.
the obvious AMOGS, the naturals. people watchin is a great way to work on you rown game.
now then dude a question for you, i like me facial fur, i got a well trimmed set of chops goin to beard an tache, if it keep it well trimmed an groomed shouldnt make to much difference?
I mean been honest i get girls comin up and strokin it quite often and none from my memory have ever told me to get rid of it.
And whats up with chips? if there home made chunky chips that an a bit of salad should be ok rite?

i honestly never thoguht that a dinner date would be a bad idea but i can understand why now, a cookin date much better, more intamate at yours or hers, awesome dude. brilliant post.

-peace-

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Black tattoos up and down his arm, aint nothin more dangerous than aboy woth charm - christina aguilera

Hehe meth sounding owfully sure here, are you 100 % positive it was their first date? I remember when I was like 15-16 going out on dates mad nervous mate..made sure my shit was well groomed and all that junk..at later times only time i was more humm shabby was when Id been with a girl for awhile just stoped caring ate wtf I wanted and sat as the hell I felt like and when cheesy wiater guys kept eye balling me id just smile at them wave them over and ask them for their opinion on what they thought was the best thing to eat, then just smiled and said okay thats what we're not having, bring us the menu's anyway what Im trying to say sometimes apeareance is an illusion, okay ive got to admit something here I never actually read the entire post..*yawn* to long, but read some stuff about you observing my sincere apologies if I am coming off as an ftard, but just think that everything might be an illusion even this guy?

SF

Yes, you could tell by the topics of their conversation and composure.
I'm not sure I understand your question here. What do you mean by everything might be an illusion? An illusion of what exactly? Being awkward and uneasy? I don't see what benefits would become of creating that illusion. Unless your suggesting I'm seeing things, which doesn't make much sense either.
Yeah, your trimmed, thats fine. This looked like he missed spots shaving or something. About the chips, yeah dude thats fine. Its all situational, if your in a place that serves that type of food, go for it. But at my restaurant thats like ordering a chocolate milk and a kids meal. If your out at a Latin restaurant or whatever and thats whats on the menu, indulge. It was just a horrible choice for him and his expensive/classy meal. Shows a lack of culture and class, in a place that its kind of expected that you have it.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

I dont understand myself sometimes, for reasons I dont really want to talk about XD I forgot what I meant, probably a typo in either way..its of little importance, considering you allready made sure it was their first date, the illusion part was him beeing afc like, but now that it has been confirmed there is nothing I meant or mean by it...argh where am I?!


SF

I just wanted to add something about what Enigma87 wrote. He was talking about bars and guys trying too hard or nor enough. A Natural friend of mine ( this guy is fucking good) and I were talking about game the oher day. He offered this rule:
NEVER buy a girl a drink.
It's been passed around that if she asks to turn it around. Good idea. Never give in though.
You guys agree?

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Love is the Irresistalbe Desire to be Irresistably Desired.- Robert Frost

Making love is getting pleasue from giving it.- Jonathan Gaige

meth i totally agree with you this guy from what i can tell is the type of guy who from a 100 feet away is an afc. You dont even have to talk to him his outergame and confidence is so week, it hardly matters what he says. I think you should write a little book about AFC's i personnely think it would help people correct there problems and help them realize what they are doing wrong.

Next time you should try to pull the kid aside and tell him straight up how he comes off. Sometimes people just need a reality check before they can improve themselves.

Color: Not buying girls drinks is a mainstay of the community. The only time you buy a girl a drink is if she's buying you one in return. "If you buy me a drink you think I'll like, I'll buy you a drink I think you'll like." If she asks, my favorite response is "Honey, with that attitude, you'd be lucky if I let _you_ buy _me_ a drink."

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Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

Yeah pretty much everything meth observed I think is spot on, I know that's how I was in high school =P. As for the tennis shoes with the nice outfit, sometimes I like to wear shoes that clash with my outfit for the sake of girls opening to me (khakis and a buttondown with a pair of slick sneakers has gotten me opened to occasionally). However I realize in this situation the guy definitely wasn't being intentional about anything. Nice post

It's true that with such attitude/appearance he would hardly succeed.
A dinner, for many of the reasons you eloquently pointed, didn't really seem to be the most suitable date for the young player . However, i should say that for my experience, girls do enjoy being taken out to dinner. I only did it in that planned manner with girlfirends, but very often girls wich i'm gaming actually ask me to take them on a dinner, and do seem excited with the idea.

I believe it will depend on your approach to the comunity and to girls in general. Some of my favourite things are dining in nice restaurants, and having conversations with girls and actually making them feel happyand special, so perhaps trying to bring all this things together wouldn't be such a disastrous idea.

In fact, the first girl i successfully gamed after getting in touch with the comunity, i kiss closed her briefly after we had lunch at a restaurant by the beach. I don't think the restaurant part was that helpful, but it certainly didn't make me crash.

With much respect for your knowledge and moral values,

Pablo P.

ps: i recently read an interesting book, that analyses the differences between men and women based on the roles each gender has played since pre-historic times which, it is argued, can explain the reason why among other things women have a tough time parking cars and men need help finding the butter inside the fridge. It is written that it has always been the masculine role to feed the females, and as such, taking a woman on a dinner could arouse her primary feelings, as it conveyed an idea of caring. The book also corroborates the idea that actually cooking for her would even be a more effective way to achieve it!


ps2: I am thinking about taking a HB i have met quite a few moths ago on a dinner. The worst thing i can think of about dinners is that it creates too much anxiety, specially because i actually care a lot about this girl, and shows you care too much. The best thing, is you can order wine...

What is your opinion?

Haha interesting. It's funny how you start to notice afcness after a while. You see the guys leaning right in, laughing at things that aren't slightly funny, buying drinks, and making a total tool of themselves.

And on the topic of buying drinks, the only time I will get a drink for a girl that I am trying to pick up is if there is a tab on the bar and the drinks are free. I will buy a drink for a female friend, cos that's usually part of just shouting, as she buys us the next round.

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- Difference