Approaching In University



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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:03 am 
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Hi guys,
I'm new here, just starting to get into the PUA stuff, but i feel a bit refrained right now. I think I could be confident, but right now trying to approach women at my University seems so terrifying, because I go to a small school so almost all the girls in a specific year or watever interact with each other. So I feel if I go and make a fool of myself in an approach to one girl most likely she will go and tell her friends ect, I've seen this happen to guys with my friends who are girls, and those guys usually get a bad rep with the girls.

Also in lectures, I dont feel thats appropriate to approach a girl, and usually the best I'll do is ask for notes or something and introduce myself or watever but I dont know wat else to do. Because in the library I guess you have to assume everyone is studying they dont want you to interrupt.

The only other place i could see trying was in the coffee shop line, but girls are always with their friends and it might be odd to intrude and randomly talk wich again creates my fear of making a fool of myself and developing a bad rep.

Any help guys would be much appreciated, I'm still learning and looking for advice.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:43 am 
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Hey!
I think that your putting too much thought into it! the more you think about what might go wrong the more your confidence will diminish thus you not approaching. Try not to think of the shit they might say to each other, cuz in the end its better that you tried and failed then didnt try at all. Dont think of it as your going up to the girl to hit on her just go up and be friendly! make a comment on something shes wearing or her style (not her physical beauty) or ask her opinion on something. you dont have to be a smooth talker just be interesting and confident. if your going to approach you might as well wait for a break or till the end of the lecture and just go up and make a clever statement (being funny helps) or ask her opinion on something talked about in the lecture. when your in your coffee line up and you see a group of girls who cares if they are with friends go up and talk to all of them and build rapport with them if her friends like you your good to go.

i think you have to work on your confidence and forget what they might say about you if your just being friendly then they will have no reason to shit talk you and if they do then fuck em!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:24 pm 
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dawes is definitely right.

build some confidence. one day, go walking down a busy area of town and attempt to make conversation with anyone you see. start off with old people and work you're way to the girls. just get to know people. find out where they're from or where a good place to eat is. i forget where i heard, i think it's styles, who challenged his students to get strangers' birthdays. i think your problem is either just finding confidence to talk with people because you feel you have no reason to or you don't think can. find reasons! enjoy people and get to know them. fail! the best way to learn is to screw up.
  • always let people know you have a time limit -- that you can't stay long -- this will take the edge off of them and probably even you -- and approach them indirectly. when people know you won't be staying long, it puts some comfortability into the situation.
  • learn some openers. ask their opinion about one of your friends who's still talking to his ex-girlfriend even though he just started a new relationship. there's quite a few openers around on the forums.
university approaching is hard. i gotta admit. school is so busy and stressful. i'm usually better off meeting someone at a bar or at a party. if anyone has any good ideas for meeting girls on campus let us know!

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"power, success, and accomplishment; love, companionship, and sex." -- Style


Last edited by simp|e on Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:38 pm 
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simple knows his stuff... it would be good to get out there and just talk to people. In Seduction School (you can find the videos in the video section of this forum) they go to bingo halls and just approach and open random groups of women whether shes 20 or 50 it will be a little easier considering you dont have to worry about impressing them. Me personally i would go to a mall and just talk to any women that walks by regardless of looks. just figure out what works for you. plus like simple was saying one thing you have to be thankful for is that you can learn from your mistakes...only through finding out what doesnt work will you find out what works!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:19 am 
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ok guys thanks im gonna try to hit up the mall. however most of the girls i see are walking you know to watever store they do, so how do u approach a "moving target" they usually dont have long eye contact, girls who intially give me eyecontact I'll say hi to and start something but I don't know any real openers for a 'moving target'


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 6:35 am 
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if shes moving and you can do something as easy as asking her the time or her opinion on what store is best for whatever reason. you can research some openers and try em out and see what works for you


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 7:53 am 
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personally, i think asking a question about where something is or for the time isn't really doing much. maybe it'll get you to talk to strangers, but i really think you should go deeper. as soon as you ask where something is at the conversation is done and they're out of your life.

style had the best approach for moving targets. walk like you have somewhere else to be. walk past them...not so fast you seem unusual. (you probably don't want to approach from the front. that's usually a lot harder.) casually look over your shoulder and say, "Hi. I've only got a few minutes, I was here to meet some friends..." (which of course you is true ;) ) "...but can I ask you guys for your opinion?" Then spit somethin' out and go w/ it.

If that seems like a little too much, try an easier target. I think older women are perfect. These are the people you can ask about where something is at or just talk about the weather as you wait in line for the bathroom.

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"power, success, and accomplishment; love, companionship, and sex." -- Style


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 1:00 pm 
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[quote="Dawes"]Hey!
I think that your putting too much thought into it! the more you think about what might go wrong the more your confidence will diminish thus you not approaching. Try not to think of the shit they might say to each other, cuz in the end its better that you tried and failed then didnt try at all. Dont think of it as your going up to the girl to hit on her just go up and be friendly! make a comment on something shes wearing or her style (not her physical beauty) or ask her opinion on something. you dont have to be a smooth talker just be interesting and confident. if your going to approach you might as well wait for a break or till the end of the lecture and just go up and make a clever statement (being funny helps) or ask her opinion on something talked about in the lecture. when your in your coffee line up and you see a group of girls who cares if they are with friends go up and talk to all of them and build rapport with them if her friends like you your good to go.

i think you have to work on your confidence and forget what they might say about you if your just being friendly then they will have no reason to shit talk you and if they do then fuck em![/quote]

i agree with most of this.however i dont think starting a conversation about the issues raised in a lecture you have just had is a clever move.i cant really explain why, it just doesnt seem right!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 7:28 pm 
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I think everyone's basically zoned in on the major problem you've got.. it's classic approach anxiety that everyone gets. Well, most of us. What you're really worried about is offending them - "Oh.. she's busy with her friends.. I won't go talk to her" or "she's on her way to a store, she's obviously busy"..

All you have to remember is this:

"I am the best damned thing that could happen to this girl."

Look at it this way - you probably think you're a great guy, right? Even assholes think they're great guys, so why shouldn't you? So having you in her life is going to be a positive thing, no matter what. Correct? I thought so.

Now, remember this:

"There's no such thing as a rejection, they're just girls with bad taste"
or if you prefer
"There's no such thing as rejection, only closing and practice"

You're not going to pick up every girl you approach, but the more girls you approach, the more you'll pick up. Who cares if a stranger at the mall ignores you and keeps going?

University's slightly different of course because you have to see them again - which means they have to see you again... why not try something CF like.. "Hey, I forgot my pens today, can I borrow one of yours?" - if she gives it to you, go "Cheers, I'll give it back to you tomorrow" and go to walk off.

- Dex


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:47 pm 
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Quote:
Even assholes think they're great guys, so why shouldn't you?
dex! solid stuff man.

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"power, success, and accomplishment; love, companionship, and sex." -- Style


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 Post subject: College Game
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:38 pm 
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I think we need to recognize something inherently different about college game: it has a lot to do with reputation. There is a limited number of girls (especially in the case of Nitty1's small school), so Nitty1 is right to fear that messing up with a few girls might lower your chances of getting others. So it is extremely important to heed everyone's advice and first build confidence and practice lines on girls who are NOT students at your schools.

I have a friend at a large state university who people are naturally attracted to, and he has a good reputation. He gets into all the frat parties even though he is not a brother in any of them, and all the guys at the parties are on his nuts more than the girls. Because of his reputation, girls are attracted to him before they even see him for the first time, so when they finally do, they pursue HIM!

It is not hard to imagine the reverse of this situation: having a reputation so lousy that once you introduce yourself, girls are already uninterested. They might say, "He's that guy who's always trying to ask girls if they use dental floss." This is why it is extremely important not to experiment on girls of your own university. So limit it to routines you've got nailed.

I start my sophomore year this fall, so I'm going to stay focused on strategy with the new freshmen. When you return, I suggest putting pussy in the back of your mind and focus on getting as many people - guys and girls - to like your personality and desire your company as possible. If you leave a big enough impression on enough people's minds, your reputation will spread like wildfire, and pussy will rain on you like ashes.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:12 am 
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Everyone here has given great advice, I'm just gonna build on that a bit. First off you need to worship the 3 second rule. If you have seen them period you're on them and having a conversation inside of 3 seconds. Very important to remember because you don't even have time to regard the group aspect of a situation.

I definitely agree with practicing away from campus. Get your game down pat before attempting to pick up girls at school. The best way to get used to talking to people in all manner of situations is to just go around and greet everybody. Strike up conversations when theres an opening(which there always will be) and really brush up on making contact.

As far as rep goes, what do you strangle your girls? Just be a good guy! Of course in the game truth is paramount so as long as your keep your openers realistic and case specific the only rep you'll get is that you like talking to people and being friendly and it usually ends in a good time for the girls.

I'm sorry did you just say girls in the library don't like being inturrupted? The library is a gold mine for sexy-smart HBs who are so bored out of their minds from reading books all day that they'll practically rape you if not open you themselves to get a break! Go to the library and open some girls based on what they're reading and have some good input ready on the subject. Instant report.

For groups of girls, theres nothing they want more than to have the company of a suave young gentleman like yourself to focus on so get in there and brighten up their day(And their coffee)!

And back to the rep thing. In the Art of Seduction the author talks about a specific type of seducer called the Rake. The Rake has a reputation of being a sexual deviant that goes after every girl he sees and is notorious for being flighty. This actually attracts women to him! In fact it's more or less an insult to not be pursued by a Rake, so don't worry about your rep, it'll sort itself out. Be chill and everything will work out fine. Happy hunting ^_^


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 5:04 pm 
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I too, go to a small school and at first had trouble finding places to meet new women, or women for that matter. A few places I've found that work: dining hall(in line, just open with something you'd say to a friend "Is it just me or does that meatloaf look like pudding? I guess not if you're in this line..etc), the gym(see openers>gym openers), walking to class,(ive acted like I was a prospective student before, and been like"excuse me can you tell me where X building is? She tells you, and you're like ohh yeh thats right by X and X. She smiles..you aren't a prospective student etc.and you follow with a neg and make her give you a reason you two havent met..etc. All of these places have worked for me. Also, you're library can be like a silent battlefield for potential openers. The majority of girls in the library are looking for distractions. Catch their eyes when they look up, give them the amog smile and take it from there.

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