So there is this girl I've been into in college. The main problem is, she has a bf at school. This has kept me from making a move for a little while, mainly because I only see her in and around class, and haven't had an excuse to hook up with her outside of class (since shes with the bf and whatnot). Its been a couple weeks, so I'm afraid I might just be in the friend zone, and if thats the case, not much I can do for a little while, but then again, we only see each other 3 times a week or so around class, so we're not exactly "friends". I've met her bf, and I've definitely felt a bit of tension on his part, which hopefully means he feels a bit threatened.

What would you guys recommend? Should I just ask her out sometime? I mean I was totally ready to a couple weeks ago, until I asked if she wanted to come get food with me (when I thought it was going to be on) and she told me she was going to go visit her bf. Keep in mind I'm definitely a newbie here.


Also, semi-related, but how do you differentiate IOIs from friendly IOIs. I got a "just friends" from a girl I was about 90% sure wanted me, and since then I've been a little confused. I got the body language and the eye contact. After the experience, I deduced that all IOIs initially are attractiveness IOIs, but will eventually just become friendly IOIs if you don't start escalating to kino soon enough. Fair observation?

Hey flo6879,

I don't think you should ask her out yet...Do you know how long they have been in a relationship together, or how their relationship is going at the moment? Try asking about these things if you don't know already in a neutral way. For example, "Hey I saw you and your bf at the game yesterday, how long you guys been going out anyway?"

If they haven't been going out for long or if the relationship is not going well, this may actually be worthwhile. Its fairly difficult to detach someone who's already in a relationship unless the conditions I stated before are present.

What I think you should do is to stay friends with her but flirt with her all the time. You should be gaming her and at the same time staying in the loop about her bf. Be fun around her, and whatever you do, don't answer or listen to her questions / complaints about the bf. That will definitely put you in the friends zone.

To be honest, I spent a long time trying to game a girl with a bf in college when I should have been gaming the other thousand hot girls on my campus. So, don't focus so much on one girl, there are plenty of beautiful single girls in college! Good luck brother!

~ Shadow_NYC ~

Thanks man. Its not a long relationship. They're both freshman who met here, so they've been together for like 2-3 months at the most. I'd love to be able to steal her, but yea its definitely hard when the guy is on campus. I've been flirting somewhat, but haven't used kino. Its kind of hard because its orchestra that we sit together, and I rarely see her outside of then, but when we meet up and talk shes very into the conversation with me. I know shes not thinking about the fact that I haven't made a move on her, because she has a bf and knows I know she has a bf. (It came up in conversation, by like our fourth week of being in class, and only because I asked if she wanted to go get food and she said she was meeting her bf)

But yea thanks. I'm definitely going out a lot and not keeping her on my mind when I do try to game others, but she is a really cool chick. I'll keep you posted.

i wouldnt ask her out if she has a bf at your school. thats social suicide. instead get close friends with her. yes im saying put yourself in the friendzone. manipulate the situation to get what you want. her.
now what most guys would do is they would look at what they want (her) and decide to go bounding in there and ask her out. sure if theyre lucky shell dump her bf and get with you. however, it would be likely that they got beat up - and the girl would probably decide she misses him and ditch you.
this needs to be avoided. so heres the plan:

become close friends with her
go C&F
destroy that fukin bf. lower his value from the inside out.
ROCKET your own value sky high
neg repeatedly C&F

remember make sure you dont come across clingy in any of this. girls want what they cant have. and dont expect to be able to pull it off over the space of a few days. this could take weeks. how long has she been with him?
V1V

Yea so the semester will be coming to an end, and I think I'm gonna just put myself out there and tell her I'm into her. I mean, idk what else I'm supposed to do at this point. Shes not in a serious relationship with the guy and the fact is I like her. If she just flat out rejects me, w/e. But the fact is I might never see her again, so why not right?