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and if he wants to fight. fight him. women like it when you stand your ground. but dont just stand...hit. doesnt make you less of a man to lose a fight. it makes you less of a man to run from a fight.
Ok, this is going to be a long one....
Let me share a lesson from my first martial arts instructor:
The only way to win a fight is not to fight.
I'll admit that sometimes it's impossible. If somebody goes for you then you should defend yourself. However, this will hardly ever happen and will happen even less if you're confident.
A bully (and most guys that will try to challenge you to a physical fight are just that) only picks on people he knows he can push around.
If you're confident enough he'll start wondering why you're not intimidated by him. Once that thought has crept into his mind he'll start wondering if maybe you have enough skills to take him on even though you don't look that strong or if you have strong friends around that will stand up for you. Either way, he'll be less inclined to fight unless you actually start provoking him.
Over the years I've come to know my physical strengths and weaknesses and how I can use them to my advantage and unless I'm up against a professional martial artists I can say that it's very probable that I'll come out of the fight as the 'winner' . However, I'll have lost because I couldn't handle the situation verbally and had to step down to my challenger's level.
My prefered way to deal with somebody who wants to get physical;
'Hey, it's ok. You're twice my size and you can probably snap me in half with just 2 fingers. If I did something to piss you off, I'm sorry dude, I didn't do it on purpose. You seem like a cool guy so why would I want to offend you? I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening."
Then I'll turn back to whoever I was talking to and go on with my conversation.
That'll usually do the trick. Sometimes somebody will still harass you afterwards in which case I always say:"Dude, I'm here to have a good time with some really interesting people. If you really want a fight because you feel like you have something to prove then why don't you just pick a gym with a ring and I'll meet you there tomorrow at 4. Seriously, I'd rather buy you a drink than have a fight with you. Like I said, you seem like a really cool person."
Only once have I had it that after that somebody still wanted to fight and started shoving me.
That time I excused myself for a second towards the people I was talking to, went over to the bar and said to the bartender:
"Sorry to bother you but that guy there is looking for a fight. Now I'm only here to have a fun night with my friends <pointing to the group> so I'd appreciate it if you could talk to him. We really like it here and would hate it if we have to leave because of one freak."
Bartender called the bouncers (as you'll find is completely normal in a situation like that) and the guy was asked to leave.
Problem solved the peaceful way.
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Makes you more alpha yeah. Shows her your willing to stand up to someone , sure.. defiantly gives you the protection quality. All valid points, at very high consequences.
I agree with the 'very high consequences but disagree with the rest of it.
Fighting somebody who challenges you doesn't show you're willing to stand up. It shows you're willing to step down.
It shows you can't handle the situation in an Alpha manner but you have to resort to the challenging Beta's level. I guess it shows adaptability but I don't think this is the best way to show it
It also does not give you the protection quality.
When you get in to a fight over your ego you leave her unprotected.
Now if somebody came over and started pushing her around and you step in then yes, that would give you the protection quality.