Okay so I need to know how to set up my profile. And what differences I should have based on the website.

I need to know everything. What kind of profile pic I should have? What should I have written in my profile?

I also hear Neil Strauss recommends being an asshole on online sites. Could you elaborate on that for me? Possibly direct me to where he says that.

I am interested in the following sites:

facebook.com
plentyoffish.com
match.com
myspace.com

I appreciate your help man.

That's a little too in depth for me to write all that on the forum here but I can send you a copy of my Online Dating Blackbook that answers those questions. I'll give you a brief summary here too.

As far as Neil Strauss goes on the Online Dating, I remember a video on youtube saying something about it. He was at a David DeAngelo seminar and speaks of it briefly but that's about all I can remember.

Above all else just be honest with everything. If not it'll come out and ruin whatever relationship you've made.

All the websites that you mention with the exception of myspace you'll use a similar profile for. You need to have at least 3-4 good pictures of yourself. Both face and body pictures. I'd make them pictures of you being active if possible. If you have a picture with a nice looking woman then you can post that for some pre-selection DHV spike. Also, you want a pic of you with some guy friends as well...helps for leader of men.

In your profile you are going to obviously tell them what you want as far as the type of girl you are interested in and be honest with the type of realtionship you want. You certainly want to be confident in what you write. Have a good catchy headline that's not like everyone elses. Keep it pretty short maybe 3-4 short paragraphs. 1 paragraph about what you are looking for. 2nd paragraph about what type of stuff you are into. 3rd paragraph about your personality. Finally, at the end of whatever you write call the reader to action. Meaning tell them to contact you. I usually write something similar to.."Click on the link over there and send me a message."

MySpace is similar for the picture aspect of things. The profile setup is a little bit different because it's a networking site as oppose to a dating site. When you are writing these things insert DHV spikes where you can. Like my past girlfriend and I got into water skiing and I am still into it, so you must like to ski.

Hope this helps getting you started, for the book email me at Jon@JSmooth.Org

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I just decided to give this online dating thing a try.
I don't really have the time today to go through this thread, sorry if its been asked before but...
Would you say it's better to have a picture of you alone, with your friends or with a hot girl/s as your main profile photo?
I'm inclined towards the ones with the girls but I know nothing about online gaming so I just need to check if it's a good idea.
Then, if it's cool to have one with a girl, should I rather go for the one where she's kissing my cheek (she looks like a HB8 there) or sitting next to me (HB9.5)? My other photos are bad quality and i look like crap =)

Im been talking to a chick in my college class for 2 weeks. i like her blah blah blah. I got her number, gone out w/ her a couple of times, anyhow can i add her on facebook or only let her add me? thanks

The question has been asked I believe, but no matter. I guess it does somewhat depend on what you have in your photo bank to a degree. Speaking for the best idea, the main profile should be a good one of you alone, preferrably a picture showing at least from your chest up. If you are able to get one done professionally that'd be best, but if not wear something that looks good on you, and have a friend help. Use a digital camera so you can edit what you need to.

I agree it's a great idea to have a few pictures of you with women to show some pre-selection. You don't want too many of these because based on the feedback from women I've dated you come off as a player, or are possibly gay. So, I wouldn't use the one of her kissing you on the cheek. The girl seeing this may think it's an ex-girlfriend, and then ask herself why you're posting a picture of your ex. We want the girl to look like she's a potential friend of yours. If you include a picture of you with a girl on your profile then include one of you with a guy friend as well. It just shows you are able to have a good relationship with both sexes.

All in all it sounds like you need to go out and get some new photos. At the next opportunity you have to go out with friends of any kind take along your digital camera and get some snapshots of you having a good time with them and even alone.

Go out take some good pictures of you anywhere but at home, and post the online. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU SIR!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Good question. First of all, I want to tell you congratulations for going on a few dates with her and having her number. In my opinion I wouldn't go backwards so to speak for online game.

The main idea of online game is you meet a girl online that you don't know very well, you talk through email or instant messenger to build rapport. From there we move forward to her phone number and eventually to in person. Since you have already accomplished these tasks I'm unsure of your reasoning for wanting to communicate with her via Facebook.

I am assuming you don't have much contact with her, or limited contact with her and that is why you are going this route. If this is the case a better route may be through talking on the phone to build more comfort or texting. This way she's more comfortable with you and will be more willing to go on future dates.

If you still want to persue this, then I might just say to her the next time that I see her. "Oh my god, I posted some funny pictures earlier today you have to see. Do you have facebook?" Just something that catches her attention with a hook, and then you ask her the question. Or you can use the facebook search option to find her by her name. Then just write a simple message to her and add her on. Personally, I'd ask her in person or by phone as it's a more personal way to communicate.

Hope it helps. If I missed the point here please feel free to fill me in more so I can better assist you.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Can you go overboard with Texting & Talking on the Phone?

Lately, I've found myself talking to HBColorado... A LOT. Since we began talking online a week ago, we pretty much text each other throughout the day and we've talked on the phone 3 times.

Whether she texts me or I text her, she's very responsive and genuinely interested. I have noticed a problem with the phone game however...

There seems to be a bit of awkwardness on the phone. I guess that's understandable considering that we haven't actually met in person. Sometimes, we even run out of things to say but when it comes to texting/IMing back and forth...its smooth,endless conversation.

Overall, I do believe that she's interested in me but I don't want her interest level to go down or to find me not as interesting because of the telephone conversations (phone game has never really been my problem but maybe after a few more phone calls we will feel more comfortable).

Sticking Points:

1) Should I not text her for a while so the spark doesn't die down? Make her miss me a little bit? At the same time, I feel like I have to text her to make sure she is thinking about me. Its contradictory, i know.

2) The vibe that i get from this girl (because she is so hot) is that a lot of guys come onto her very sexually and I don't want to turn the conversation sexually for fear that she is gonna think thats all I want. How can I turn up the heat without her thinking that i'm so random perv that just wants sex. I don't want to be trapped in the friendship zone either.

3) Up until last night things were going great...but for whatever reason I felt like I was extremely AFC. After talking to her on the phone, I asked "was it me or did i come off shy over the phone? I must be brain dead from all the studying i've been doing!" and which point she responded that nothing was wrong and she told me about some drama going on and it was probably too much for me. So far i've had a cocky/funny frame but she has mentioned quite a few times she doens't like the cockiness but loves the funny. Should I just, lay back for a little bit so she forgets about the interaction last night? In other words, how can I recover?

I've never done this online thing before especially with a girl that lives far away (I live in cali and she lives in colorado). Personally, I think i'm out of my mind for thinking that something might come of this but then again....i'm crazy enough to think that this will make for one hell of an experience if I do actually meet up with her.

Your advice is always appreciated,

Hitman

First off man, I really deal with online game and not as much with phone or texting game. I understand you met online but that part has somewhat passed us. However, being in the spirit of helping people today I'll tackle this for a few moments.

#1 if You are in Cali and she's in Colorado...I would be strongly asking myself what can truthfully come of this. I mean if you two can't get 1 on 1 what is the point? You are in the community to meet women, you can't exactly meet her unless you can drive there or fly there. I don't see a relationship really forming, unless one of you is free to travel a lot. The most that can come of this is some dirty talk on the phone and some pictures or webcam sessions. I think we need to find you someone closer to you.

#2 You are now caught in the trap of phone game. The idea of course with phone or texting game is two parts. Part One is to gain comfort with the potential target so that you can ask her out. Part two is asking her out on a date. Since you can't do that you are kind of stuck in this holding patttern. Things are going to get awkward because all you can do is just talk.

I say cut your losses as far as time goes with this girl and find someone else in your area. You seem to have the right idea with all this. You will be able to get someone locally with the steps you were following. You are waisting your time with this spending so much effort into this one girl who you can't be in a real relationship with. I really hate saying this stuff brother but move on!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

thanks man. deleted my profile though... i'm going to wait until i have a proper main profile picture and time to actually set up a proper profile. dont want to be that weird guy with no photo or with the crappy profile.
i think i'll only put 1 picture up with girls (3 girls, myself and my best mate at big social event). i'll get a proper profile picture taken and then for my third and last one i'm trying to decide between a slightly artistic one of me on my guitar or a playful one with my dog. (am i going overboard?)

Nope that sounds good actually. If possible I'd use the one of you on your guitar and the one of you with your dog. Women like pets and music! It shows a few different sides of your personality and makes you look more normal. You're on the right path man.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I was emailing a girl from a dating site about 6 weeks ago and to be fair, I was getting into her. We exchanged about 6 emails over the course of 2 weeks or so. In the last email that I sent, I made a comment with regards to her plans for the week, which in hindsight, could have been taken the wrong way. Obviously, I didnt attempt to clarify that I wasnt in fact working towards a suggestion of meeting up. I for one didnt feel it was at the stage, but an AFC error and wrong wording.....

Anyway, based on the timescales, would you even bother. If you would, what would be the best way in general to approach it.

If it has been over a few weeks since your last contact I would certainly move on. I don't necessarily think that your limiting move was to mention her schedule. There could be other factors at play we're not aware of. Maybe she met someone, maybe her dog died, who knows....

The only think I would try and do different in the future is after about 3-4 emails I would certainly be working to get her on a messenger so we can talk in real time. It's there that I can demonstrate my personality better, and can create more attraction.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

yup, thought that might be the case. Out of curiousity, would you attempt to re-engage after no reply for a week or so?

After a week or so....SURE! I would say something in my email or message to her like..."I've been extremely busy here lately with this project I'm working on. I should have gotten back to you sooner. What's been happening? OR Did you do that thing you mention? etc."

I just try and keep it going like I'm in demand and I've had stuff to do. Most people are understanding of this. A week goes by pretty fast. Much over a week this becomes more difficult to get them back, but it's always worth the effort.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

thanks for the info, will bear that in mind