Hope this in the right place, feel free to slate if not, I am a quick learner!

To be clear, I started looking into becoming more confident and therefore making better connections with womens approximately 4 days ago and signed up on this forum today, so please bear with me if this seems amateurish, I am!

Anyway, I went shopping today for a new Jacket and other things. One of the items was a new cologne. In the shop, there was a lovely young lady and although I didnt strictly use the 3-second rule to approach her, I did use it to decide to formulate an opener. I went to the fragrance counter and got a selection of samples on the cards they give out and trotted back down to the place where I saw her. She was actually standing talking to a co-worker and usually, this would have stopped me there and then.

I work out and the old saying "no pain,. no gain" sprang to mind and I walked over and proceeded to have a short conversation regarding which fragrance she preferred. While I appreciate that the finer points of how I asked could have been better, I did it. She made a comment to me that she was "always right and I should buy that one". Straight away, I gave her back "Sorry, I cant believe you are always right" as what I hoped was a neg.

Walked back up to the counter and bought said fragrance. To my surprise, it came with a free bag. Nothing something that I could use, but I thought I could give it to the young lady I had been talking to downstairs. I asked the salesperson to sign the receipt that it was free give and confirm there would be no problems in handing over a gift to someone in the store, she said no.

Back downstairs and I walked straight up to her and said she was right and handed over a nice D&G bag. I explained that i had sorted it with the lady upstairs and she should have no problems. A massive smile appeared on her face and I returned the compliment. At this point I said to have a nice day and goodbye.

So, my first attempt didnt go anywhere near as bad as I thought it would and I was quite proud of what I did with my limited experience and confidence. I certainly would not have done this 1 week ago, before i started reading that book.

Walking back to car with a huge smile on my face, I couldnt help analyse, but after the fact has got to be better than before or during. My biggest concern is that I could have kept the conversation going, but realise this is down to confidence and will come in time. I also thought that perhaps I should have stuck my number on the validated receipt and left it in with the bag.

So, my question is, what would you have done? Call me a sponge, ready to take advice and put it into practice. So be mean, be critical, i'm just curious.

Thanks

Good job on getting over the approach anxiety.

What was your expectations after giving the girl that bag?

You showed you were the sweet cute nice guy. Thats fine, but that wont get you any ass. Do not expect her to ever call if you give her your number. They wont unless you built some ridiculous amount of attraction. Get her digits and then you have to be the one to make the moves. Next time avoid giving a woman you just met anything like that. Otherwise you PUA career is going to be really really expensive. She is not the prize, you are.

Instead of giving her the bag, you should have just walked up and said something along the lines of.....

"Thanks for the cologne advice. I gotta take off, but you have this great vibe about you. What is the best way that we can stay in touch?" Credit AFC Adam

Anyway, hope that helps.

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

To be honest, I had no expectations. I have a lot of issues that I need to resolve and just going up to her was a big step for me and even this small step has had a good effect. At this stage, all I am trying to do is get used to approaching people, even if in this case, I may have gone about it the wrong way.

This is the reason I posted the question, to find out how the more experienced would have handled it. The bag was free and at least I know it put a huge smile on her face. Hopefully the next time I go in there, she will remember and I have already told myself that I will go up and continue the conversation, just need to get some ideas and keep it going for a longer period.

Thanks for the input though, I understand your points.

smalls steps...

Baby steps. Trust me, I understand. I don't want to kill your buzz, just maybe help with perspective.

Giving women things makes them happy and gives you a little bit of a rush that you pleased them. The problem is, women do not respect men who bring them gifts. You will be seen as the friend guy who will do things for them when they always ask.

Next time, have a game plan once you re-approach her. She knows whats on your mind, you just have to step up next time.

How do you plan to restart the conversation next time you go in?

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Yes, I see the problem with that now. In my urge to solve one problem, I inadvertantly caused another.

How do I plan to restart the conversation. Well, I am not sure at this stage. I was thinking of using the common ground of fragrance to at least restart it, where it goes after this I am unsure. I was going to search for some routines/gambits associated with smells and see if I can at least pull some of it of. If I set a time constraint when starting, I have the ability to stick to that and use it as an opportunity to use your advice;

"Thanks for the cologne advice. I gotta take off, but you have this great vibe about you. What is the best way that we can stay in touch?"

Or am I going in the wrong direction. Perhaps even trying to run before I can walk!

I would run into her casually. Well... planned, but make it seem like its casual.

Then say "Hey its you! Cologne girl! You have no idea how many compliments I get on the fragrance you suggested. High 5!" she will give a high 5... then just a little small talk. At this point you have a couple different ways you can go. You can say "I gotta go shop a little more, when is your next break? You should meet me for a cookie/smoothie/coffee/whatever. " cocky funny smile (I am assuming this is at the mall so i expect there is a food court. ) If she says she already took it or some other excuse thats when you use that previous line I gave you. Or you can just skip the cookie idea and use that line.

Do not mention the bag at all. Let her be the one to bring it up.

You will be fine. Once you go for that first close, you will feel this amazing rush and this great boost of confidence. Not only that, you will feel like this monkey was lifted off of your back. It doesnt matter when you try. Just do it. As long as you are progressing, you will do amazing.

Good luck bro,

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Another way to approach her again would be kind of what CK said but as you get into the conversation neg her a little by saying something like, "Yea, I really like the cologne you picked out the other day but I went out with some friends the other night with it on, (pause for anticipation) I didn't get a single complement about smelling great. You really know how to pick'em, huh?" (nudge, nudge) This will have to be a little C&F (cocky and funny) and she will try to qualify herself to you. Something about I can't believe it! blah blah blah. I love that cologne. Blah Blah. Then you could interrupt her and say something like "Check it, I would love to stay and chat but I have to run and meet up with some friends (FTC - false time constraint). How about you give me your number so we can finish discussing your poor taste in cologne when you get off work? (give her a smile and some EC [eye contact]). Of course you wouldn't just drop those lines one after the other. Have some intermittent conversation too.

I'm new to the PUA community as well but that might be something I might do. Comments on it would be great.

Iggi

Don't expect to get laid just because you gave her gift that it is the whole point of being a pua so you don't have to bribe girls to try and get to know them. For your own sake don't do it again

Thanks for the input, but would just like to say, I had no expectations of getting laid. In fact, I had no expectations of receiving anything back from this girl. My intentions were to approach her, at least open my mouth and string a few words together, which I did.

The bag was a side-line, a reason to actually be talking to her and to be honest, I give myself credit for at least thinking of it. It may be a lame AFC type thing to do when you are no longer an AFC, but it showed at least a modicum of initiative.

But hey, as said, thanks for the input. It is all being taken in and hopefully in 6 months time I will be in a much stronger position.