Okay - so I will need to put this is context since a lot has gone down in the last 48 hours. It all started when my friends and I went to a strip club on Monday night. I hadn't been to such an establishment in a long time, but it was a special circumstance (a birthday). Plus I just bought a brand new sport bike and a lot of chicks dig it. One of my exes used to work at this place but I haven’t talked to her in over a year so I wasn't sure if she still worked there.

So we while we're hanging out, one of the dancers mentioned that she goes to school at my undergrad university (located 2 hours outside of my current residence). After she gets off stage we start talking about school and commonalities and it’s all going smoothly. She eventually asks if I want a lap dance and I say "no, ever since I dated a dancer, I don't really take enjoyment in lap dances".

It than slips out that I used to date a girl that worked at this club a while back. She asked who, and I said my exes name. She stepped back, took one long look at me and immediately said my name. I was freaked out, mostly because she’s only been working there for 6 months and I haven’t talked to my ex in over a year. But that’s a whole different story. She knew some stuff about me, but we really didn't get into specifics.

She than runs to the back door and points me out to the girls (all of which I am seeing).

I'm so out of it and in shock that I just think it’s best for me to leave. I go outside and there she is smoking a cigarette. We end up talking and she tells me to call her if I ever go back to my college town. She gets my cell-phone, dials her number (so she has my number) and gives me the phone back. We hug and go on our separate ways.

The next day, 20miles from her work, I'm walking into my local coffee shop and I hear someone say my name. I look behind me and it’s the stripper from the night before. I get kind of weirded out and say hello and quickly go inside. I walk outside to make a call and she invites me to sit and hang out with her and her friends. We talk for 15-20mins and she gets up to leave. She shakes my hand and goes on her way.

On a side note, I find out today that another one of my exes (from several years ago) who currently works for me turns out to also be acquaintances with this girl from an unrelated group of friends. Mind you, I live in a very metropolitan region of California, so meeting people that know your group of friends/exes is extremely unlikely.

All of these coincidences have made me think about this girl nonstop for the last day or two, and I pretty much need to find a way to hit this chick so I can finally stop thinking about her.

Some stats on me:

Believe me when I say, I am not a PUA by any means. I'm actually very shy and most people would consider me unapproachable (I lift a lot, use a variety of "supplements", and have a meat head type physique).

Truth is, I'm 23, hold a bachelors and a master’s degree from two highly reputable universities, have multiple vehicles and sport bikes, and have pretty much all the leisure time in the world.

My appearance probably deceives anyone that doesn't know me.

What I need from the members of this forum is help on getting this girl to be in to me, regardless of the obstacles of having exes.

Do I call her? Text her? Do nothing? What would I say to her? How can I spin all the coincidences that we share (same college, knowing two of my exes, and god knows what else) into something that I can work with.

Honestly, to anyone that gives me advice that works: I will make it worth your while. Trust me.

Ok dude, first off sounds to me like shes into you as it is right now, she gave you her number, and invites you to have coffee with her and her friends, good start only thing i could have said though is you should have left first, always leave them wanting more. Secondly stop thinking so much about her, the minute she senses you are that into her is the minute she may be a lil freaked out, and back off, as for call text, etc. of course dude give her a call ask her on a date but not the afc way.

ask her if she would like to go have a picnic at a park that has a great view, go feed some ducks, something memorable because lets face it the tried and true method of dinner and a movie is getting stale

also dont try to prove yourself too much you mentioned what all you have going for you to us, dont do that too her else may think you are insecure after all a rich man doesnt need to tell you hes rich he leads by example not by bragging, be sure to dress nice and always always always smell nice, if in need of cologne I reccomend Gucci by Gucci

its not super expensive and its very unique and all the women love it (on me atleast) like stated above do anything u can to take your mind off her, meet other women atleast 6 just to see if she is truley that special

otherwise jsut relax dude, dont sweat it so much just call her and arrange a date but make sure its unique and fun

Id say good advice above except for the picnic aspect. Keep in mind that this girl is a stripper. Sounds like you know from experience what they can be like. In most, and i say not all, but in most there is something that has gone really wrong in their past that has created them into what they are now; low self esteem women who make a buck any way they can.

Sounds like you've got her thinking about you a lot. If she heard about you from your ex and realized that it was you when you said your name then you definately made an impression on her without ever even meeting her. If your physique is what you say, and i presume it to be true, then it sounds like she wants a piece of the pie for herself after hearing about it from a co-worker.

Id definately agree with church and call her up and ask her out. Find out what she enjoys sport or recreation wise and based off that, choose something related to take her to. Hope this helps

-Ballerado

based on personal experience I also recomend you dont call her up and immediately ask her out, call her ask her hows shes doin etc, u know small talk, then before you hang up then ask her

idk If i agree completely about the above guy's idea of stripper, I mean that sounds like a rather cold stereotype, remember they're still people with feelings, they enjoy sunsets long walks o n the beach and kissing in the rain too, I say just make the first date light and fun then take it from there

All I have to say about strippers are that they are just some hustlers that is all they are making money a good way they know how and what they are good at. Don't be so cold mate, it's just a hustle.

As for for you pmossaed1, my advice to you my big friend is keep it simple, just make a brief comment/neg about her knowing your exes "stalker status" or "doing your homework" is what I would go with (room for roleplay). Again less spending time too your time is valuable for you to be having coffee with strippers and their friends, A joke or two maybe a story and a half make sure you leave your imprint on the crowd and move on "I got to go ladies sorry important meeting," BAMMMM get on your motorcycle ride off. You are an alpha male period you have established yourself in life in two maybe three aspects in her mind already

1) you have survival value
2) you have been preselected by women

3) possible leader of men

exes are not an obstacle actually they help being there (physically or not) because she already knows that 2 people she knows has fucked you (everyones doing him why shouldn't I) and on top of that she knew who you where when you told her your exes name that right there is an IOI in a way (man behind the stories/legend). Just call her she won't bite unless you ask her to and just whatever you do DO NOT COME OFF AS NEEDY, you do not need her she needs you, catch my drift?????? CHEERS MATE AND GOOD LUCK


P.S. you said you live in cali which strip joint is it???