Recently I made the revelation that I am obsessed with my co-worker(the one who pulled her sweater closed). She is a HB 7.5-8, but that's not the reason I'm so into her(but certainly part of). She's very smart and has a great many of the same interests that I do(which I will classify as rare). Here's the history:

She started working at my company last May. We're pretty big, with somewhere approaching 200 employees. I was immediately taken by her looks, but she works in a different part of the building, so I had a hard time justifying "visiting" her area just to talk to her. However, a couple of weeks ago I finally came up with a reason and started some small talk--learned we have a lot of interests in common, made her smile and kept her interest. I asked her if she wanted to have lunch with me and she said sure. This was Friday, we picked Wednesday for lunch.

Over the weekend, she had a change of heart, so Monday morning I was "greeted" with an e-mail that said she would rather not have lunch with me, and I learned it was because she was seeing someone else that we work with (in her area, of course--let's call him "B."). I know the guy and I like him, but we're not really friends. She's been seeing him for at least 3 months, and I'm kicking myself for not making my approach way back then or before.

Anyway, one of the reasons(The main reason) I'm on the PUA forums is because I realized I had no clue how to handle this situation. I feel like she must have had interest in me, but maybe feels devoted to the relationship she's been developing with "B" and doesn't want to jeopardize that. I talked with her about the situation briefly (this is interesting to me--she avoided mentioning "B" by name or talking about "B" at all--why? I'd like to think it's because she hasn't fully connected with him yet, but I fear that she thinks it is none of my business so she won't share that info with me)

Anyway, I accepted her reason and returned to my area, dejected. I wallowed in a bit of self-pity and deliberately avoided talking to her for a few days.

Then I decided I was not done. I feel like she is one of a kind, so I feel like I can't just give up and let her go. I went back over and talked with her, made even more connections between us ( I definitely felt I was DHV) and as a result I felt better. That night, I found my way to the PUA site and started reading up, realized that I had actually used C&F and a neg on her successfully before I even knew the terms!

So, at this point I'm ready for any and all advice. Ultimately, I'd really like to work toward developing a serious relationship with her. Please, give me your opinions and suggestions for how I might proceed from here.

Thanks,

-Klats

Okay, I bitched up a bit today. Went over and started talking to her about various topics we connect on, couldn't get a very good groove going and started getting dry mouth(no drink handy so my convo with her was seriously hampered) and before I could cut bait, she told me she probably needed to get back to work.

It wasn't a total wash, I gave her a few negs and got a few good laughs, but when I left it was on her terms. Dammit.

Any advice at all is welcome.

-Klats

you can do a few things in my opinion
1) Cut your losses and move on
2) Ignore her for a few days/a week then game her hardcore
3) Make it seem like you have lost interest in her, which may sound risky, but from my experience ( you can see my thread a few threads down) the less I acted interested in her the more she wanted all that attention back, let her see you talk to other women, let her feel a little competition.

other than that there will be other 8's and higher, work out, meet new girls, do whatever you have to do to get your mind off her, pursue hobbies, and make her know your time is valuable

also, dont be too readily available, if she asks you to do something tell her you will see if you have time, or something like that

if she never comes to you and initiates a convo that maybe bad aswell

I also noticed you mentioned negs a few times, make sure you are doing it appropriately, negs are used when she makes a smart ass comment in an attempt to take control of a situation, not as openers, also make sure you dont over do it or you may just come off as offensive, they are used to level the playing field.

as for the other guy, this is a pretty good way to test your game, shes going to go with whoever seems most interesting/fun/amog etc

happy gaming!

Thanks Church,

I'm starting to conclude that this girl is atypical. She likes the other guy because he is introverted and soft-spoken and "sweet." I know him, and he is anything BUT a player.

I keep flip-flopping on how to pursue this because it's frustrating, but I've decided to back off. I can tell I'm trying too hard. I have to go to her area if I want to see her, she never comes to my area because she has no reason to. She's really into her relationship, and I think she sees me as a threat to that. I've learned that she is kind of shy and very genuine whenever she talks about ANYTHING. Advancing that knowledge, I can tell that even if I was able to win her over, she would feel terrible because of how it would hurt the other guy. She's that kind of girl-another reason I'm so attracted to her.

But I really appreciate your advice. As far as my game, I've already started practicing EC and smiling at girls I see at Target and such, and I'm getting positive feedback. I also had a small but notably positive experience I'll make another post about later.

Thanks again,

-Klats