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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 6:18 pm 
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i text a lot. its basically the only way i keep in touch with girls who i've #closed other than the occasional phone call when i want to see them or whatever.

anyway, there's this girl who i've known for a while and i know she isnt attracted to me anymore (which is fine because i'm not attracted to her, we're really good friends and i have no desire to stick my cock in her)

problem is though that whenever i text her, i never get an immediate reply. she always takes ages to reply... and this annoys me. it actually pisses me off.

how can i get her to reply immediately? i mean, if i get a reply from her and i reply immediately, common sense would say that she can reply to my reply within a few minutes and not a few hours. i hate waiting for replies. it really pisses me off. i dont care if she's busy, i want to be a fucking priority.

ideas?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 6:45 pm 
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ha ha ha.....i love your attitude man...good for you!

at the end of your message..just write..REPLY BACK IMMEDIATELY YOU DUMB BITCH..

and if that doesnt work then nothing will...

but seriously, i know what you mean, she's playing with you, stop texting her.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:11 pm 
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Tip, send something provocative, not sexual but a neg or something so she'll feel obliged to txt a comeback.

I also find some girls are pretty good repliers and some are terrible its just how they are. Don't think its easy to change that. For slow repliers its better to engage them with a phone call instead.

I think you'll also find after you've got a little rapport going she'll reply quicker than to an unexpected txt out of the blue. Sometimes they will just be really busy at the time and forget to reply.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:35 pm 
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see, this girl is an ex of mine and after we broke up we became very good friends. been friends for over a year now. she always replied immediately when we were together and now that we're just friends its like i've been put on the back seat or something. fucking pisses me off.

i'll accept a reply within 20 mins. but if it takes 2-3 hours for each reply, then i get pissed off. what makes it even more annoying is that we talk daily. all fucking day. and she normally texts me first, so its not like i'm even just seeking for constant attention.

seeing as i'm not planning on fucking her anymore, should i maybe just call her out on this bullshit? or should i just mention that she seems to constantly be too busy to chat? or should i just leave it? or should i freeze her out a bit and not text her for a day or 2?

i hate not being a top priority. this is bullshit.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:47 pm 
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I'm in a very similar situation with an ex. Split up as we were both of travelling and didn't want a relationship during that time. Plus I was extremely AFC. We stayed really good friends since and talk once a week or so.

I'd definitely recommend the freeze out option, which is what I'm going for at the moment. The others show needy/clingyness.

A week or more. At the moment the situation is showing signs of one-itus. You need to show you don't need her and she has competition. Go out and be positive and active, meet new girls enjoy yourself etc.

Just read this link from another post, may help in distancing yourself.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/escaping.htm


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:04 pm 
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ok, well, i think this is what i'm going to do:

1) not reply as quickly. im really not that busy because i have exam leave til november (yes, life is goooood 8) ) but i'm going to wait an hour or 2 before i reply so she thinks i really am busy.
2) at nights, when she texts me, i'll make sure to either reply late or tell her in my reply that im out with mates or whatever and that i'm having an awesome time etc, even if i'm just in my apartment and jamming on my guitar.
3) i'm not going to contact her first until i see an improvement from her side. if she asks whats going on i'll just say that i've been really busy and that i didnt think it would matter because she seemed pretty busy too. this should show that i dont need her and hopefully make her realize that its fucking annoying to wait 78 fucking years for a reply.
4) i'm going to game her a tiny bit. best way to a priority is to be interesting and attractive... so i'm going to see if this works.

hopefully i'll get replies quicker. i cant really freeze her out because we text each other like 15 times a day, every day, so it'll be weird to just completely ignore her. instead, im going to seem busy and distracted/uninterested and see if she chases me a bit. should be interesting.

any thoughts or other things i should consider?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:26 pm 
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Quote:
3) i'm not going to contact her first until i see an improvement from her side. if she asks whats going on i'll just say that i've been really busy and that i didnt think it would matter because she seemed pretty busy too. this should show that i dont need her and hopefully make her realize that its fucking annoying to wait 78 fucking years for a reply.
4) i'm going to game her a tiny bit. best way to a priority is to be interesting and attractive... so i'm going to see if this works.
Ok, well.. Let me LOL real quick.

Back on topic. Do not, I repeat DO NOT text that. That comes off extremely needy. You have oneitis my friend. As much as you say you dont, you do. You are still into this girl and are just trying to deny it. If you weren't you would sit her and try to justify this shit. If my friends take forever to get back to me, I don't care. They run busy lives. They will get back to me when they can. Why do you care? Because you want to hook back up with her, tha'ts why. Why regame her if you don't want to dip your cock in her? Hmmmmmmmmmm....

You really want to be a priority? Why? Just freeze her out for a few days. At that point she will be chasing you. Just say you are busy, even though she knows you are not. Do something else.

Just accept you want to be with her once more. ;)

CK

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:50 pm 
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i really dont think its one-itis... here's why i say so
when we dated she was a HB7 on a good day. since then it's been downhill... she's gained like 15kgs over the last 18 months or so, effectively taking her from a HB7 to, well, ugly. and i am very shallow. i wouldn't go as far as to say that she's hideous, but even ugly is a bit of an understatement.
i also happen to be obsessed with another girl at the moment who i cant stop talking about with my friends but she's engaged so i'm not going to interfere.
and i think the most damning evidence that its not one-itis is that i get annoyed when i dont get immediate replies from anyone, including relatives, guy friends, parents, female friends and girl's im gaming.

i think i might just be easily irritated when i dont get the attention i want.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:53 pm 
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Are you an only child?

CK

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:12 pm 
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Quote:
Are you an only child?

CK
haha... pop psychology.
nah, i'm one of 3.
i think it might be that i feel unimportant when i dont get an immediate reply, which is why i want to be a priority. i want to be more important than other crap, so its kinda as if i'm seeking validation or something.
so maybe i haveinner game issues?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:54 am 
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Ahhh...

Your confidence lies within other peoples attention. Its like an endorphine rush when they return your text. You get that validating feeling that helps build your confidence up more. You have to quit relying on other people to validate yourself. Instead focus on ways you can be happy without the help and support of other people.

Well, at least thats the way I see it.

CK

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 3:31 am 
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wow if what chino kapone says is right you have to change the way you get your confidence, i used to hmm still am a little, get the feeling of validation when im acknowledged, now a days i just dont give a crap of other peoples opinions and kinda let it slide by. I made it priority to let myself know my business is top priority and i should take what i need as important, and man forget bout the ex for a few days, freeze her for a few days, and when she stops txtn you, a few days later shell start again, why arent you talking to me? just tell her "im trying to save my battery for important calls" <- as pathetic as that excuse is , its saying dont really give a crap bout you, its all about me baby, get used to it"


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 3:46 am 
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Quote:
she normally texts me first, so its not like i'm even just seeking for constant attention.
if she text you first you should be the one that is doing this to her not the other way around. pretty much you are seeking constant attention because you are waiting on her to text you back, get on with your day and not worry about whether she text you back. matter of fact get on with your life and forget about this chick. there is no reason to be playing phone game or text games with your ex girlfriend.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:36 am 
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I think you should call her on it, just not in an Afc way. I would tease her about how long she takes to respond. I wouldn't do it through a text though. I would do it verbally when you two are out with mutual friends. I would use a sniper neg that seems like a innocent observation at first, but festers later on when she's alone.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:54 am 
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ok, so it seems that the problem is that i rely on other's acknowledging me and giving me attention to feel confident/validated.
how do i change this? i spent the night thinking about this and i've realized that its not only texting that gets to me... my confidence drops whenever i'm ignored or not given the attention i want, which then makes me all pissed off and shit.
how do i stop seeking validation from others? should i maybe try setting a few high goals and then get the confidence boost when i achieve them? or should i just game the shit out of other girls and get my kicks from them?


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