I can talk to girls, get dates and get them to like me fairly easy now.
However even if I know that she wants me 100% I can't make a move to kiss or anything.
Yesterday, I went on a 3rd date (HB 8 or 9) and she asked me if she could come to the area where I lived. I wanted to go to a bar or something so we could have a couple of drinks and escalate kino a bit, so I wouldn't feel so awkward with her in my room. However she kept saying she wanted to see my place, even though she knows it is an extremely small room in a cheap guest house.
So we went straight to my room, and sat on the bed and talked for a bit. We were looking into each others eyes for most of the time, I was touching her hand a bit. She was giving me lots IOIs, touching her chest, at one point she said 'I'm so itchy' so I jokingly scratched her knee for her, however I knew she was literally itching to fuck.
I obviously really wanted to kiss her and have sex with her right then, and I knew I wouldn't be rejected, but I didn't do anything. I was almost relieved when she said she was hungry, and I suggested we go to a bar/restaurant.
As we were leaving she said something like 'I can't believe you' under her breath, and I was thinking the exact same thing about myself.

I can't think of anything I can do to which will help me close, which doesn't involve a bit of alcohol to give me more confidence.

heya lozenge, ive just had a read of your post, and i actually think your being to critical of yourself when you say your retarded!!

You clearly have the game to get the women interested and into bed with you, pretty much gagging for it, and showing plenty of ioi's. however you mentioned the lack of confidence being a problem, i believe that you should turn the confidence problem into something that works in your advantage.....for example in the situation mentioned, you would'nt of had to make much of a first move for her to then rip the rest of your clothes off, then from there on in it would of been her taking control.

just concentrate on getting over that first hurdle of initiation then the rest will follow im sure....then you'll look back and laugh at that situation

Maybe you're scared of vaginas?

Wow, that outta help a guy who is obviously having serious hang-up issues, Dempsey...

Kind of hard to just jump into this one man, without some more background information if you don't mind. (wtf, the internet IS anonymous afterall).

So if you dont mind, a few questions. Sorry if they seem all at once, you dont have to answer any of them of course, but it will help others figure out whats going on in your head.

How old are you? Are you a virgin? Have you had many relationships? Anything go badly with any of them? How is your self-image, do you often put yourself down, or is this an isolated incident? How do you do with non-sexual, social situations, like meeting new people thru friends?

When I was a kid in highschool, I had a girl who was crazy about me and I just let her slip away in front of me... but then I was really really unsure about how to handle the whole thing and I had a pretty low self-image on top of that.

For starters, I would say you definitely need to stop calling yourself retarded. Its actually a very self-harming behavior, even tho it might seem pretty benign, even normal.. At any rate, it will definitely make this kind of problem worse, not better. Try to face the problem and reaffirm yourself instead, rather than just blaming yourself and cutting yourself down. That is just a way of convincing yourself that you cannot solve this problem, which unfortunately is a way to remove yourself from responsibility, and thus, relieve the stress the problem is causing you without actually solving it. Its a downward cycle, so break that pattern.

Ok, I am 22 years old and a virgin. I have been painfully shy most of my life, but recently I have become much more confident talking to women. Infact almost ever girl I have met recently presumes I am a playboy or have had many many girlfriends.
In the past few months I have gotten a lot of dates, but never really had a serious relationship. I haven't really had any bad experiences on dates, other than being a bit frustrated that I didn't have sex with them.
I know I am not actually retarded, just frustrated, my self image is a lot more positive than it was a few years ago, I'm starting to think that ALL girls like me now, hah.

I guess I have a reason to be especially nervous in this case as I am a virgin, and she is 7 years older than me (looks about 21) and she has convinced herself that I have had loads of sexual partners.
I know that she will be awesome at having sex, but I guess am terrified that I will not meet her expectations as I am inexperienced.

start step by step. wait to get the hang of kiss closing first. its usually harder to do something than say it. so instead of doing the kiss - say it keep this one mm.
pua: do you want to kiss me?
hb:yes ( at this point your fukin obliged.)
hb: maybe (lets find out - and MOVE!)
bh:no ( pua: i didnt say you could - just actin weird thats all)
V1V

ViV is right on with this one, just take it one step at a time. You have kissed a person before right? Even if its only been your mom, that peck on the lips (or cheek) is where you start. Think of it like just a peck. Don't think about the endgame at all, just focus on kissing her. Once you are there, you get to touch her body! Now we are having fun! This will come naturally. From here on out, if you guys are in a comfortable situation with eachother, the rest will just flow naturally. Just let go, let it happen. Your body knows exactly what to do. If you are lucky, she will even lead you on herself, lots of girls (the ones who are any good in bed at least) are active rather than passive. And considering she is a bit older, she will know exactly what to do and how to turn you on, and will want to do it.

Now, if you are really, truly hung up on being a virgin, you can always try to be open with her about it. Take a good look at your relationship. Are you two close, is she really into you, like in a gf kind of way? Have you spent a lot of time together, do you talk about inner feelings and desires, or is it more shallow?

If you have a deeper understanding, then its advisable to take the risk. Bring it up when you are already in the bedroom tho, not in some other location. Be humorous about it. This way, she has the chance to "show you" that everything is ok, rather than just talking about it. Just talking about it can be uncomfortable, and if too much time goes by before either of you get closure, that discomfort could give her doubts or even fracture her attraction.

If your relationship isn't that deep, or you just don't feel she will take it well for whatever reason, then don't tell her. Just take it a step at a time and work it yourself.

Finally, prepare yourself for the act as well. You are going to be having sex. You are having deep feelings of anxiety due to this, which stem from the fact that you do not know how to have sex, and you are afraid of failing her.

So read some literature about pleasing a woman. There is a great thread on this forum somewhere about making a woman cum repeatedly (sorry cant find it now, this forum is seriously disorganised) which has some great pointers.

Some of the big keys with girls are pretty easy, if you think of how girls are. They are soft and gentle. They usually prefer a guy to be a bit soft and gentle as well, at least in the beginning. This means take some time, tickle her, touch her softly, warm her up. Dont just jab your hand in there. Dont rub her clitoris right off, it is HIGHLY sensitive. Pay attention to her body signals, she will push against you when you are doing it right, she will pull away if she is over stimulated or it hurts. Whatever you do, dont just jam your cock in and bang her as hard and as fast as you can. This is NOT good lovemaking. If she wants it harder and faster, she will let you know.

Well, thats about all I can think of now. I think you will be just fine tho, really. Everything will come naturally. Have fun, bro.

EDIT: ok just thought of one last pointer.. if you are really and truly freaked out about starting this, even kissing her, then trick her into starting it for you. She is in your room, again. She is sending you a thousand signals, you know she wants to kiss you. You sit down on the bed and... complain about a sore shoulder!!!

You: Ow..that's wierd. My neck is really cramping up, right here... (rub your neck by the shoulder)

Her: Oh really? Oh let me give you a massage! (she will jump at it at this point,believe me. She will do anything to initiate sex from what you have said.)

You: Mmm that's nice, you are good with your hands...

At this point she will totally present herself to be kissed, if she doesnt just flat out start kissing you on the back of the neck and the ear. She will probably rub her tits against your back as well. You can take this as a great first step to reach over and caress her leg or her hands or whatever while she is doing this. Switch over and offer her a massage, then go for the kiss!

Whatever path you take, do it quick. If you wait too long at the point you are in right now with her, you have a high risk that she gets confused and backs totally out of the situation.

Thanks for the help!
I have kissed a few girls before (they usually kiss me first) and I was thinking about using that technique which V1V mentioned, but I think I was too nervous to think straight in this situation.
I am not even considering telling her I am a virgin, and if i did tell her deadly seriously, she would laugh and never believe me. She is convinced that I am really popular with girls (Recently this is not far from the truth, however I just haven't had sex with any of them, hah).
Its funny you should mention massage, because we were talking via the internet about massages today, and she said 'please massage me, I want you to!'
As I have been a virgin for so long, I have read quite a lot of literature about how to please women, however I'm not sure that just reading will make me that good. She is really attractive looking and I can tell that she will be awesome at sex, so I want her to want to have sex with me more than just one time.
I think I am feeling quite positive about this now
I thought I screwed up completely by not making a move when I had a perfect chance, which ultimately led to other other girls thinking I'm not interested and not seeing me again in the past.
However in this case it seems to have made her want me even more. I feel that I'm unintentionally driving her crazy.

I may start to feel nervous again next time I have a chance to make a move, but thinking about it now I don't know why I was even worrying about it in the first place.

I have a similar problem and the best advice I have got is whenever you start thinking about what-ifs and other crap like that just group them all together and write them off by just thinking/knowing they are non-issues.

This could be because I am naturally flippant but I swear the single line "its a non-issue" said to yourself in your head followed by visualizing the problem disappearing has helped my inner game so much, also works when girls bring up bf's. Hope this helps, also keep coming back to this we can help each other through our sticking point and share anything we come up with.

There's nothing to feel nervous about, sex is natural, you'll go on autopilot once it starts, so don't worry about that. Learning how to please her though is very nice for her.
This is normally through foreplay and teasing, and sex is like the icing on the cake, but it's not the main part of it is it. At least not for a woman.

And about the kissing, she's on your bed, giving you hints, i know it's scary, but just grab both her hands, look in her eyes, and kiss her. What's the worst that's gonna happen? Just dive in.(As long as you've gotten the hints)